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She’s wearing yoga pants again. And another sweater. “Change into jeans and a warm, close-fitting jacket. We’re going to go for a ride.”
11
Mercedes
Judge leads two horses from the stalls and dresses them while I entertain myself by playing with the four beasts at my side. War nudges my hand with his wet nose, jealous of the attention Death has been receiving. Their names are a little dramatic, even for my tastes, but I can admit they are beautiful creatures. I always wanted a dog growing up, but my father never allowed us to have pets. I’m sure most people would assume I’d be the type to tote around a Chihuahua in a fancy bag, but I like Judge’s Dobermans. They’re relatable in a way. When people who don’t understand their temperament look at them, their instinct is to fear them. They look terrifying, and I’m quite certain they would be if the need arose for them to defend their owners. But they are so much more than loyal protectors. They are gentle-natured too. Playful. Affectionate. Loving. It’s what’s beneath the surface that counts. And I believe in some ways, they are misunderstood the way I often feel I am.
Most people don’t look past my tough exterior to get to know the other qualities I possess. Either my armor is impenetrable, or they don’t believe I’m worth the effort. What I said to Judge was true. I could get any man I want, but their affection only runs skin deep. As soon as they realize they have to actually work at getting to know me, it isn’t worth their time.
It’s a lonely existence, and until I met Solana and Georgie, I didn’t even know what it felt like to have true friends. But when I look up to find Judge watching me with the dogs, I know he’s not like anyone else I’ve ever known. He sees… too much. With every day I spend here, he’s slowly chiseling away at my armor. He wants to know my secrets. He wants to know everything. And I can’t understand why. If this is just a job to him, why does he care?
“You can take Temperance.” He leads the black mare with a glossy coat toward me. “She’s a retired racehorse, but she still has some get up and go.”
“Hello, Temperance.” I greet her softly, then move toward her in a gentle manner so I don’t spook her. “What a beauty you are.”
I let her sniff my hand, and Judge gives me a curious glance as if he’s surprised by my actions. Temperance returns the gesture with a snort and a nose boop to my palm. Once I have her approval, I stroke her face, and she closes her eyes, silently soaking it in.
“She likes you.” Judge observes as if he didn’t expect it, and I arch an eyebrow at him.
“What can I say? Not everyone has poor taste like you.”
He doesn’t smirk at my sarcastic remark, and if it weren’t for the tension between his eyebrows, I wouldn’t even be sure he heard me.
“Come.” He holds out his hand. “I’ll help you put on your helmet.”
“I think I can manage.” I reach out and take it from him, still smarting from his rejection earlier. He made it clear where he stands, and I don’t want or need the confusion of trying to complicate this situation any further. The more distance we can keep between us, the better off I’ll be.
Once I have my helmet secured, he offers me his hand to help me mount, but I ignore it. That unnerves him, and I can feel him watching me as I reach up and grab the reins with one hand and the saddle with the other. I ease my left foot up into the stirrup and hoist myself up, swinging my other leg astride the horse and mounting myself comfortably.
“You’ve ridden before?” Judge’s question betrays his disbelief.
“You forget we grew up in the same circumstances.” I stare at him incredulously. “I think our parents would have agreed that it’s all part of being a well-rounded member of the upper echelon. A child simply cannot have one or two extracurriculars. They must excel at everything.”
Judge frowns, his features tightening as he seems to recall a memory from his own past. I can’t be sure, though because a moment later, it’s as if it never happened. He mounts his own steed, one who seems far more spirited than mine. But why should that come as a surprise? I think Judge enjoys a challenge in all his endeavors.
“You ready?” He glances over at me, and I nod.
He clicks his tongue and gives the horse a light squeeze with his boots. I secure the reins in my grasp, and Temperance takes her cue from Judge, following along without requiring me to do anything.
We settle into an easy gait, heading for the field of open grass behind the house. The grounds of Judge’s estate are huge, and I’m quite certain he explores more difficult terrain every morning when he goes for his rides. But I suspect he doesn’t want to throw anything too tricky my way just yet, regardless of my assurance that I’m capable.
“How long has it been since you last rode?” he asks.
“I had lessons most summers from the age of ten,” I tell him. “And then I’d still often visit my horse over the years. But I haven’t been back since he passed away.”
I can feel Judge watching me, and I don’t know if I admitted too much. Perhaps it comes as a shock to learn that despite all appearances, I do have a heart. I have real feelings, and I am capable of caring about other people and animals too. Although, admittedly, animals are easier. They don’t require much from you. All they want is your affection.
“I’ve forgotten how much I missed it,” I add, the gentle breeze blowing against my cheeks. It feels refreshing after being locked in my room.
“What kind of horse?” Judge asks, seemingly interested in keeping the conversation going.
“A Percheron.” I smirk at him. “They were a team actually. Prince and Duke. Prince was the one I rode often, although they were both magnificent. My instructor made the mistake of letting me ride him once for fun. After that, I never wanted to stop.”
“Why am I not surprised you took on the mammoth?” Judge smirks.
“He was seventeen hands,” I recall wistfully. “But a gentle giant, nonetheless.”
He eyes me carefully, and I realize it’s because I’m relaxed for the first time since I’ve been here. This feels natural to me. It feels good to be outside, breathing in fresh air while doing something physical. My body is in tune with the solid weight of Temperance beneath me. I trust her, and she trusts me, and there’s something beautiful about that simplicity.
