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For the first time since I’ve known him, real terror streaks through me. I don’t recognize this monster standing before me. I don’t recognize this pulsing, living rage within him. He looks like someone else. Someone I don’t want to know.
I try to speak, but nothing comes out, so I’m forced to nod, which is all I can do. Even still, Judge doesn’t release me right away. His eyes are so dark, I can’t even look at him. And it’s only when I shed a very real tear that he finally lets me go, and I cough and sputter, trying to drag air into my lungs.
If I expected any sort of an apology, he makes it clear I’m not getting one when he leads me to the stables and opens one of the stall doors.
“Get in.”
When I don’t move, he drags me in by force, turning me in his unyielding arms and unzipping my dress before he starts to remove it.
Against my better judgment, I try to resist, but it’s futile. I’m still trying to catch my breath and make sense of what the hell just happened. And whatever fight I put up, it’s not enough. Within a minute, Judge has me stripped bare, my dress tossed out onto the stable floor like garbage. My bra goes next, and then he rips my lace thong apart with his bare hands before tossing that aside too.
There is no heat left in his gaze as it moves over me, assessing me like he’s looking for weaknesses. It scares me, but not as much as when he shuts me inside alone, and his boots echo off the floor.
I’m standing there naked in the straw, trying to understand what’s happening when he returns with an armful of riding tack that he tosses onto the ground beside him.
“Kneel,” he commands.
I shake my head and try to dart around him, but he grabs a handful of my hair and halts me.
“Do not fuck with me.” He breathes the words into my ear. “I’m all out of patience as far as you’re concerned, and you don’t want to know what I’m truly capable of.”
His threat sends fear skittering down my spine, and despite my mind screaming at me to run, he easily lowers me to the ground and shoves my face into the straw. He straddles my back, reaching for straps of leather and a bit, and my chest starts to heave with the force of the emotion I’m trying desperately to hold back.
It’s a pointless exercise because when he pushes the metal bar between my lips and teeth, the humiliation stains my cheeks with more tears I can’t hide. Next, he fashions the leather straps into a makeshift bridle, which he secures with a lead. And for his final piece of cruelty, he secures my arms behind my back with more leather, wrapping it around my wrists so many times there’s no question I’ll ever be able to get it off.
He doesn’t say a word as he rises to his feet, leaving me helpless on the floor, the straw chafing against my bare skin.
“You’ll be sleeping in here tonight.” He spits the words out unmercifully as he secures the lead to the hook on the wall. “Perhaps tomorrow morning, I’ll find you in a more agreeable mood.”
And with that final blow, he leaves me.
I wanted to believe Judge was bluffing. I had convinced myself of it. He wasn’t going to leave me like this all night. But after an hour passed, and then two, I started to lose hope.
My arms were numb, and my whole body ached from being pinned in this position. The bridle and bit weighted my head down, and I couldn’t get comfortable, no matter what I did. At first, I stood and tried to move around, but the lead kept me from going too far. I could stand in one place, or I could lie down, but neither of those options did anything to ease the ever-increasing pain.
My shoulders burned as I tried to wiggle even an inch of space into the restraints at my wrists, but nothing I tried worked. When I inevitably collapsed onto the floor, that wasn’t any better because now my entire body was scratched from the straw.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I considered that he really did plan to leave me here like this for eight hours. Possibly even more. And there was no way I could endure it.
So out of desperation, I tried everything I could think of to loosen my restraints. I rubbed them against the wooden edge of the wall post, but that only resulted in raw skin. I tried to pull them up far enough behind me to use the metal hook as a tool to untether them, but I wasn’t tall enough for that. After another two hours passed, I began to cry in earnest. And then I had an idea.
I might not be able to get the restraints off my wrists, but I had a much better chance at severing the lead. It took me what I estimated to be another two hours to saw it against the edge of the wall, nearly strangling myself in the process. But eventually, the last little bit of leather broke free, and relief breathed new life into me. That relief was quickly swallowed by the realization that it had taken me much longer just to accomplish that.
Now, peeking out through the bars of the stall door, I can see the sun will probably be rising soon. Which means all my efforts may have been in vain. And then something occurs to me. Paolo often comes down here in the early mornings to check on the horses before I even get to the stables. I know because I’ve seen him here at times when I arrive.
Regardless, my mind is made up. No matter who comes through that door this morning, I’m getting the fuck out of here.
I sit quietly by the wall and wait, listening as the birds began to chirp and sunlight gradually spills into the stables. It’s the weekend, which means Judge will probably sleep later than usual, and Paolo might not show up as early as I hope either. But just as I’m about to nod off from exhaustion, I hear the sound of his voice as he greets Temperance in the stall closest to the entrance.
I breathe a sigh of relief and crouch down, kicking my bare foot against the wood to draw attention to the stall.
There’s a moment of silence before Paolo calls out, “Is someone there?”
I kick again, careful not to make it too consistent, and then I hear his boots drawing closer as he investigates each stall before he gets to mine. He pauses then, and I hold my breath, trying to stay as still as possible. I know there’s no way he can see me from where he’s at, as high as the barred windows are.
Then it happens. I hear the lock disengaging before he starts to slide open the door from the outside. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sweeter sound.
When I jump up, it startles him, and his eyes are wide as saucers when he sees my naked form shoot past him. There’s nothing I can do about that. Judge either didn’t take that into consideration last night, or he truly doesn’t care who sees me this way. Regardless, I can’t think about it as my feet hit the solid floor beneath them, and I take off, sprinting as fast and hard as I can.
