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She shook her head and took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. It reminded him of when she was a kid and went up against her parents. “There’s something else I need to talk with you about.”
* * *
This was the third time she’d been in his presence in ten days, and the impact he was having on her hadn’t lessened any. It only seemed to grow, coating her skin and pulling at her muscles, making her heart beat faster than was physically comfortable. She was a grown woman, a mother of an eight year old boy, and yet every time she saw him she felt like the seventeen-year-old girl she’d once been. Besotted and aching, wanting him to notice her. Hanging on to his every word.
He was silent as he sat on the plastic chair opposite hers, his long legs stretching beneath the table. Though his clothes were covered in construction dust, she could still tell from their cut how expensive they were. But it was his face that drew her in. The chiseled beauty of his youth had been replaced by a masculinity which made her chest tight. There was a strength to his roman nose and square jaw that she hadn’t seen a decade before. The teenager who had captured her thoughts as a young girl had become a man she couldn’t take her eyes off.
“I don’t know where to start,” she said softly. She’d been practicing this for days, thinking of the right words – the ones to explain everything and not cause him to hate her. But they didn’t exist. All that was left was the truth and it cut like a knife.
She wasn’t sure who was going to bleed more.
“The beginning is usually the best place.”
Looking up, her eyes met his again. Her stupid heart did a flutter. “You’re right,” she said, nodding her head. “But I’m not even sure where it began.” Dropping her face into the palm of her hands, she let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, this is so stupid. I’ve been thinking about talking to you all week, and here I am, behaving like a dumbass.” She lifted her face up. “And I know you’re so busy. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”
She sighed. “That’s what I do. Apologize to everybody. I guess that’s the way I was brought up.”
Aiden shifted in his seat again. “We’re all products of our childhood.” He put his own cup down on the table. “But sometimes we have to break out of it.”
“It’s hard to break out when everything you do is scrutinized. And every move you make is watched like a hawk.”
Aiden frowned. “Scrutinized by who?”
“My parents.”
“Are you still living at home?” he asked her. “You and Nick never moved out?”
She felt almost relieved at his question. At least she didn’t have to search around for her words. “We live in the bungalow out behind my parents’ place. The one beyond the pool. Do you remember it?”
Three lines appeared across his forehead, as though he was thinking hard. “The one they used for staff?”
She nodded. “It’s perfect for us. Once I finish my schooling, we’ll be able to stand on our own two feet.” Maybe if she talked for long enough she could ignore the elephant in the room.
“Are you studying to be a vet?” Aiden asked.
“Not quite. I’m training to be a veterinary technician. Like a nurse for animals. I couldn’t afford the schooling to be a real vet.”
“Your parents wouldn’t help you?”
S
he shook her head. “Not with the tuition fees, no. They don’t really want me to work with animals.” Her eyes met his again. It was crazy how often it was happening. And each time it did her whole body heated up. “It’s not their idea of what a Newton should do.”
Aiden’s face was impassive. “I guess not.”
“And there’s Nick. I want to finish up school sooner rather than later so I can get a job and we can move out and get on our own two feet. I don’t want to live at home forever.”
“He’s a nice kid. You must be very proud of him.”
Unexpected tears stung at her eyes. When was the last time anybody had seen her son as something to be proud of? “He is a good kid,” she agreed. “He’s funny, he’s clever, and he is always really polite around people. I’m a very lucky mom.”
And there was the lump in her throat again. This would be the perfect time to tell him, to finally get the truth out there. “How about you? Do you have any children?” Yeah, so much for letting it all out.
“No children.”
She wanted to ask him about a wife or girlfriend, but really, what business was it of hers? And the fact was, she shouldn’t be asking him anything. She should be telling him. Because she was the one who had all the answers.
