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“Cait, try to breathe.” His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her away from the edge. “Cait, stop crying. Try to inhale. Okay?”
Tears began to flow down her cheeks. Just like all those years ago, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t open her mouth.
Drowning. She was drowning.
“Cait.” His voice was louder, a hint of panic causing it to be sharp. “Cait, look at me. You need to breathe.” He grabbed her chin, yanking her face until her wide eyes met his. “Breathe, babe, come on.”
The first inhalation she took was like a shot of adrenaline to her veins. Everything sped up – her sobs, her shallow breaths – all of them trying to catch up with the racing of her heart. She was shaking, her whole body convulsing. Breck lifted her into his arms.
“Christ, you’re freezing.” Carrying her, he rushed from the pool area, heading down the corridor to their room. She clung to him, still trying to catch her breath, as he fumbled with his keycard, before pushing it into the lock. “Keep breathing, Cait,” he told her.
“I… am…” It was almost impossible to talk between the gasps and shivers. He kicked the door open, ran in, and set her on the bed. He wrapped himself around her as she lay in his arms.
“It’s so cold.” Her teeth started to chatter. Breck rubbed her skin, trying to create some warmth. But even when he pulled their robes off and lay on top of her, trying to give her his body heat, she still shivered.
“You need to get into a hot shower. Do you think you can do that?” he asked. “You need to warm up. You’re so damn cold.”
“I don’t know… I…” She started to shake again. “I think so. Stay with me. Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’m here. I’ve got you.” His voice was like a balm, soothing her, while he held onto her tightly. She clung to him, as he took her to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and pulled their suits off.
A moment later, she was standing naked beneath the hot, steamy spray. Breck was in front of her, his arms wrapped around her, rubbing her back and murmuring soft words in her ear. Caitie’s arms were around his waist, her face buried in his chest. It took a few minutes before she was warmed up, and her breathing was under control.
Of course, that’s when the crying started again. A whole myriad of emotions hit her at once. Shame, embarrassment, anger. Like a poisonous cocktail they swirled together, rising up, until the only way to express them was to let the tears spill out.
“God, I’m so sorry,” she whispered against his chest. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Shush, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” He ran his fingers through her wet hair, massaging her scalp.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I thought I was so clever. You told me not to push it and I didn’t listen. I had to keep going. To try. I’ll never learn, will I? I’m a coward.”
“Cait,” Breck said, his hands cradling her head. “You’re the bravest and strongest woman I know. I’m humbled by you. You went in there and faced a fear that’s had a hold on you for seventeen years. Don’t let me ever hear you calling yourself a coward. You’re amazing.” He moved his fingers in circles against her scalp. Dropping his head, he brushed his lips against hers. “Every minute I’m with you I become more entranced by you. You’re everything.”
The emotion in his voice made her want to cry harder. He was touching her so gently, his lips soft and his hands softer. As though she were a fragile bird, waiting to be rescued. She was hyper aware of how close they were standing, of how naked they were. Of how much she felt for this man who was cradling her against him.
As they stood there, their bodies slick with water, the air thick with steam, she didn’t have time to think any more before the words came spilling out of her. “I love you.”
He stilled against her. His hands froze in her hair, his breath caught in his throat. She felt her heart beating hard in her chest, but this time not from panic, but from fear.
Had she really said that out loud?
Her body that had been so cold, began to heat up. Water poured down from her hair and onto her face. When she looked at Breck, he was smiling.
God, was he smiling. His eyes were warm and intense, like dark pools threatening to engulf her.
“Caitlin Russell, the feeling is mutual.”
* * *
“We should definitely go with the ham and turkey en croute, don’t you think?” Caitie asked, taking another mouthful of the pastry-wrapped bites. “God, this is delicious, plus it fits perfectly with the Christmas theme. What side dishes do you recommend?”
Breck frowned, trying to swallow the food down. Christmas. The thought of it was like a pitcher of ice water being poured down his spine.
He opened his mouth to tell her how he felt about Christmas. That he avoided it every year, traveling somewhere exotic for the holidays while everybody else gathered with their friends and families.
He couldn’t look at a tree without thinking about his mom. Couldn’t listen to a Christmas song without feeling like a seventeen-year-old boy again, all alone, responsible for his little brother. Afraid and shocked.
But she was smiling at him as though it was the best thing ever. And to her it was. Unlike him she loved Christmas. So much so she’d made a career out of it. Her face was lit up as she looked at him.
