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“I’m still figuring that out,” she admitted. “I guess I’ll need to buy some freestanding closets or put some shelves up.”
“There won’t be a lot of space once you’ve got everything in here. Maybe you should look for something bigger?” James suggested.
“Well beggars can’t be choosers, and I need to move before the baby comes. Caitie and Breck are wonderful for letting me stay with them, but there’s no way I’m imposing on them longer than I have to.” She shrugged. “I can afford this place and it’s in a good area; I’m going to take it.”
“I could help you with the rent. We need to talk about child support and other things anyway. I get paid enough for you to have more floor space.” He looked around the apartment, trying to picture her and their baby here. For some reason it felt like a kick in the gut.
“I’m not taking money from you.” Harper frowned.
“Are we doing this again?” He smiled, shaking his head. “The money wouldn’t be for you. It’s for the baby.”
She turned to him, her hands on her hips. There was a no-nonsense expression on her face. “We’ve agreed to fifty-fifty custody,” she told him. “That means we each pay our own expenses. I can afford this place by myself. It’s small but it’s perfect for what we need.” She rubbed her stomach with her palm. “I’ve checked my budget and this is what fits.”
“What if the baby needs things? Am I not allowed to buy them?”
Her eyes softened. “You can buy what you’d like for the baby. I want you to. But you’re not paying any rent for me.”
“You’re insufferable.”
She grinned. “That’s why you like me so much.” She rolled onto the balls of her feet and brushed her lips against his. “Don’t look so grumpy. We’ll be perfectly fine here. And you’ll get your basement back. There’s something to look forward to.”
His stomach turned at the thought of the basement being empty again. Of coming home to a house filled with silence instead of the constant whirr of Harper’s sewing machine. “You could still use my place for work,” he suggested. “That way you’d have more space here.”
“That’s so sweet,” she said, her eyes catching his. “But that was only a temporary arrangement.” She smiled. “This will work for us just fine.”
He still didn’t like it. They’d only been sleeping with each other for a few weeks, but it was confusing the hell out of him. In four months time they’d be parents and everything would change. No more nights curled up in each other’s arms. No more sex in the basement when he came home and saw her leaning over her sewing table.
Instead she and the baby would be here. And yeah, he’d have custody, too. But that wasn’t what he wanted.
He wanted her. He wanted it all.
This was so messed up and he had no idea how to untangle it.
“You know, I think I might finally be
growing up,” Harper said, running her finger over the windowsill. “I’ve got my own business, my own apartment. When I finally call my grandma I’ll be able to say I’m finally an adult.”
“You haven’t called her yet?”
“I sent her the letter like we talked about but she didn’t reply. I figure I should call and make sure it arrived.” She wrinkled her nose. “As much as I hate to do it.”
“I love how brave you are,” he said, kissing the tip of her nose.
“This little thing makes me brave,” she told him, caressing her stomach. “I’m not going to hide away any more. I’m going to stand up and be proud of who I am; that way she can be proud of herself, too.”
His chest tightened. She was fantastic. He’d been avoiding his own demons. Hadn’t made the phone call to Sara’s parents to tell them about his new baby. Yeah, he could blame it on how busy he was, that between work and Harper and the baby he had no time to do anything, but the truth was, he didn’t want to talk to them.
It was so much easier to be happy when he didn’t have to think about the bad times.
“So what do you think?” the realtor asked, walking into the hallway. “Is it a contender?”
“It is.” Harper nodded.
“We’ll need to move fast if you want it,” the realtor told her. “There are another two couples already booked to look at it later, but if we want to make an offer I can call right now.”
Harper looked at James, and despite his misgivings, he nodded. It was what she wanted, he was sure of it. And if it meant he had to be alone again, then so be it. He’d endured the loneliness before, he was sure he could do it again.
* * *
