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Dear Lydia,
The throb in her chest lessened as she read her mom’s beautifully slanted script. She’d written this letter a few days before she died, when Lydia was still a baby. She’d been eighteen when their father had give
n the sealed envelope to her, and ever since she’d kept it close, ready to re-read whenever she felt sad or lonely.
There was one paragraph she especially loved. It made everything feel better.
Sweetheart, you’re a light in the darkness. A smile when frowns are all around. You eat up life like it’s a gourmet buffet and I adore that about you. Don’t let that light ever be dimmed. Never stop searching for what makes you happy. Travel, meet new people, discover things you never thought you’d experience. Don’t let yourself be tied down by the world’s expectations because you are so much more than that.
Don’t let the world change you – change the world instead.
She re-read the words, sealing each one of them in her heart. Her mom had wanted her to travel, and if moms didn’t know what was best for you, who did? She folded the letter back up, carefully stowing it away so it would be there next time she needed it.
Yes, Autumn and Griff had something special. And she was so happy for them. But she needed to travel and keep searching for whatever filled her soul.
Otherwise, who was she?
5
She. Needed. Coffee.
Lydia half-walked, half-crawled across the carpeted guest bedroom floor, her hair askew, her eyes open to slits, her hand sweeping away the air in front of her until her fingers curled around the cool door knob.
When she finally made it to the kitchen, she had to lean on the counter to fully wake up.
She wasn’t a fan of mornings. Or any time she had to get out of bed. She could completely understand why Skyler wailed every time her eyes opened in the crib. It was frustrating, especially when you were in the middle of a very nice dream.
One, for instance, that contained chocolate from Brazil, red wine from Spain, and a very naked Jackson Lewis.
Whew.
What was she in the kitchen for? Oh yeah, coffee. Needed it now. She pulled open every cupboard until she found the jar full of grounds, and promptly walked into an open cupboard door.
“Ow!” Rubbing her head with one hand, she reached out for the glass filter carafe with the other, her eyes still squeezed closed thanks to the pain throbbing in her brow.
The glass carafe smashed against the black tiled floor, making Lydia’s eyes fly open. She jumped back to avoid the sea of shards surrounding her. Who knew a glass jug could make so much mess? She frowned again. Why didn’t Griff and Autumn have a Nespresso machine like everybody else? It was like they were living in the stone ages.
Though Griff would make a great caveman. She bit down a smile at the thought.
Though it was a Sunday, he and Autumn were both at work. It was his second busiest day of the week, even during off-season. Between charters and tourist cruises, he rarely took a weekend off. And Autumn had modeled her own working week around his, doing admin work in her little office on the pier on Sundays, while Skyler sat contentedly in her little baby chair, staring out at the ocean.
Autumn had apologized profusely last night for not being there that morning, but Lydia had waved her off. “It’s fine, I’m no fun in the morning anyway. I’ll chill and maybe take a walk. We can catch up later.”
And to be honest, she was kind of liking the silence in here right now. Skyler had woken up three times last night, and even though it wasn’t Lydia who’d gotten out of bed, she’d still winced at how loud the screams were.
Seeing how tired Autumn was, she’d half-heartedly offered to look after Skyler for her today. Autumn and Griff had both laughed.
“Thanks for the offer,” Autumn had said. “But let’s not shoot for the moon too soon.”
Lydia would have taken offense, but her sister was right. She’d never looked after a baby in her life. But how hard could it be? Skyler only slept, ate, and pooped. Yeah, she’d definitely babysit for them this week and show them how easy it was.
In the meantime, she had a mess to clean up. But first she really needed that coffee. And now she’d have no choice but to go down to Autumn’s favorite coffee shop, Déjà Brew. After that she’d work out how to get rid of this mess and secure a new coffee pot.
The sun was warm against her skin as she made her way down the boardwalk toward the main strip of Angel Sands. People were out on their skates, bicycles, and walking dogs. She wondered if Jackson had walked Eddie that morning.
Probably best not to message him and ask. He didn’t need her fussing and assuming he couldn’t cope with a dog. Enough people were doing that already.
She walked past Angel Ices, the ice cream parlor, smiling at a family who were sharing a huge bowl of ten scoops, and waved at the owner of the surf shop, who gave her a grizzled smile and waved back.
