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So much better to h
ave this short, sweet time together and still be friends.
He rolled onto his back, lifting his arms above his head as he thought about her leaving. She’d be gone for months.
He hadn’t asked her about keeping in touch. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. Talking to her without being able to see her, to touch her, felt like it would be more painful than no contact at all. He didn’t want to know if she was having a good time without him – or even worse, with a guy that wasn’t him. He just wanted life to be the same way it had always been. Work, friends, surfing, and sleep. He knew where he was with those.
Rolling to his side, he climbed out of bed. No point in wallowing in this funk that had come over him. It was going to be a long day, and he needed to be on form. This ceremony was important to Griff and Autumn. It would be important to Skyler, too, he guessed. She’d be his god daughter. His responsibility if anything ever happened to his friends. It wasn’t a promise you made lightly.
In the kitchen, Eddie was already awake, pacing the floor impatiently and glancing out of the back door. Jackson opened it for him and he ran out, heading for his favorite spot in the corner of the yard. When he’d done what he needed to do, Jackson poured his breakfast into a bowl, and Eddie practically jumped on him before he could put it down on the mat.
“Hungry, huh?”
Eddie rolled his eyes and buried his snout in his food. Jackson flipped the coffee machine on, and fed a pod into it, grabbing a carton of milk from the refrigerator to fill the frothing jug.
The sun was rising over the mountains, casting a long shadow in the outline of Jackson’s house across his grassy yard. Mist had risen up from the ocean, and lay across the lawn like a blanket, not yet chased away by the heat of the sun’s rays.
As coffee sputtered from the machine, Jackson glanced out of the door. Through the mist he could see a tall figure walking along the cliff edge. Whoever it was got closer, enough for him to make out it was Griff, with Skyler tied to his front in some kind of papoose.
He stopped at the end of Jackson’s backyard, and stared into the kitchen. Jackson lifted his hand in greeting, and Griff nodded back.
Opening the gate, Griff walked down the path, Skyler’s head bobbing against his chest.
Jackson opened the door. “Coffee?” he asked, holding up a second mug.
“That’d be good.” Griff sat down on one of the basket weave chairs, crossing his long legs at the ankle as he held Skyler securely against him with his hands. Pouring a second mug, Jackson topped them both up with hot steamy milk and carried them out of the kitchen.
“You’re up early,” he said, passing the mug to Griff and sitting in the chair next to him.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
Taking a sip of coffee, Jackson studied him over the rim of his mug. “You know, Lydia’s still here. Just in case you were planning on making a scene.”
Griff sighed. “I’m not going to make a scene. I just wanted to…” he trailed off and shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to see my friend.”
“Is that what we are?” Jackson asked. “You haven’t seemed so sure this week.”
“I know. I’ve been an asshole, I’m sorry.” Skyler lifted her head, blinking at the daylight. “Don’t tell your mom I swore,” Griff told her. “Our secret.”
“Is it the naming day?” Jackson tipped his head, scanning Griff’s face. “Are you worried about it?”
“No.” Griff sounded almost incredulous. “It’s going to be a good day.”
“So what’s got you walking five miles at the crack of dawn then?”
“I got a lot on my mind.” Griff put his cup down on the table. “I guess I have for a while. Thought a walk might help. And Autumn needs some sleep. She’s running on fumes right now. This way she’ll be nice and rested for this afternoon.”
“What’s niggling you?”
“I dunno. I keep feeling this…” Griff screwed his face up. “Pressure, I guess. I look at Skyler and think how damn precious she is and how I’d hurt anybody who came near her. And then I remember my parents and how they treated me, and I just can’t understand it.” His voice was low. Thick. “How do you abandon your kid? Ignore them because you have better things to do?”
Jackson ran his tongue along his bottom lip, thinking of all those times his mom walked away.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s not about us. They’re messed up. Your parents, my mom. They look inward when they should be looking out.”
“I’m scared I’m gonna fuck this up the same way they did,” Griff mumbled. “I’m going to let her down.”
“You’re not going to mess this up,” Jackson said firmly. “You’re a great dad. Look at you, sitting there with a baby tied to your chest. That’s not what bad parents do. You love her, man. I can see it in everything you do. If you mess up, it’ll be because we all make mistakes. But unlike our parents, you’ll make it right.”
