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“I’ll come with you,” Lydia said, reaching for his hand. The music was still playing, she had to shout to hear herself over it.
“No.” Jackson shook his head. “You won’t get back in time for your flight. Dad’s driving. He hasn’t been drinking tonight.” Unlike Jackson. “But we need to leave now.”
He looked so lost, standing in the moonlight, and all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him. Tell him it was all going to be fine. But he could barely even look at her. It was as though he was completely wrapped up in his thoughts, his fingers drumming a rhythm against his jeans as he explained that he had to leave, and he wouldn’t be seeing her for a while.
“Will you let me know how she is?” Lydia asked.
“It’ll be after one by the time we get there. You’ll be asleep. I’ll message in the morning when we have more news.” He looked to his left, his eyes wary. “Dad’s waiting in the car. I should go. I…ah…guess this is goodbye.”
She tried to smile, but her muscles weren’t playing ball. She couldn’t believe this was it. There was so much more she wanted to say, but now there was no time to say it. “I guess it is,” she said, her voice low.
His eyes softened. “I’ve had an amazing time with you. I’m sorry it has to end this way. I was hoping to say goodbye at the airport.”
“Maybe this is better. I’m really bad at goodbyes.” Finally the smile curled her lips, though it was fighting with the tears pooling in her eyes. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, Jackson. I’m going to miss you like crazy.”
His throat undulated as he swallowed. “I’m going to miss you, too.” His voice was thick. Graveled. “I just wish…”
She put her finger on his lips, silencing him. “I know,” she whispered. “I know.” But she didn’t want to hear it. Whatever he wished for, she wished for it harder.
That things were different. That she wasn’t leaving in the morning. That he wasn’t leaving now.
It didn’t matter, though, did it? Because they couldn’t change anything. All they had was this moment and goodbye, and then he’d be gone.
“I hope your mom is okay.” It didn’t matter how fractious his relationship was with his mom. Because she was still his mother. And she knew how much it hurt to lose somebody you loved. Even if you barely knew them.
“Yeah, I hope so, too.” The car engine revved from across the parking lot. “I’m sorry for leaving like this.”
“It’s not your fault. None of this is.” And it wasn’t hers, either. It was life and it sucked sweaty balls sometimes. From the corner of her eye, she saw Ryan climb out of the car, his expression as concerned as Jackson’s as he looked over at them.
“You really should go.” She pulled her lips between her teeth. “But can I have a hug first?” The thought of him leaving without touching her was too unbearable.
“Yeah.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, dropping his face to her hair the way he always did. And for a moment it was just them, standing between the beach and the parking lot. She lifted her head and he kissed her. Not demanding, the way he did when they were alone in his house. This kiss was soft and sweet and made her heart want things it couldn’t have.
“Goodbye, Lydia,” he murmured. “Be safe.”
She swallowed her sob. “You be safe, too.”
He turned and walked to the car, and she watched him, her lips trembling as she inhaled a ragged breath. His dad climbed into the driver’s seat of Jackson’s car, and a moment later Jackson sat in the passenger seat, closing the door behind him. Her eyes blurred with tears as they drove out of the parking lot, and out of her line of sight, leaving an emptiness inside her she wasn’t sure she could ever fill.
“Was that Jackson’s car?” Autumn asked, sliding her arm through Lydia’s. “Where’s he going?”
; “He isn’t going,” Lydia whispered. “He’s gone.” And that’s when the tears started to spill out of her eyes, trailing in hot rivulets down her cheeks, and pooling at her chin.
“Oh honey. Come here.” Autumn folded her arms around her sister. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
27
Hospitals at night were an entirely different animal to their daytime bustling activity. Voices were hushed, people sitting in waiting rooms slept, even the staff seemed different, their focus on the patients razor sharp. Jackson and his dad walked up to the desk in the ER, feeling heavy with fatigue, and gave their names to the receptionist, who immediately turned to her computer.
“Jennifer Marks. Yep, we’ve moved her to a ward. She’s on the second floor.” The receptionist pointed to the elevator. “Visiting times are over, but I’ll call ahead and they’ll let you in. Husband and son, right?”
“Yeah.” Jackson nodded. No point in trying to explain his fractured family to her. It wouldn’t make a difference anyway. He was going to see his mom no matter what, and he knew that wild horses couldn’t keep his dad away.
The ward was as quiet as the rest of the hospital. Their footsteps echoed through the sanitized hallway as the night shift nurse led them to his mom’s room. “She looks worse than she actually is,” the nurse told them. “Her ribs will take some time to heal, but the rest of her injuries are superficial. The doctor wants to see her in the morning, but after that she’ll be able to go home.”
“What about her nose?” Jackson asked.
