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“Yes.” Meghan kept her voice low, aware that Isla was only a room away. “And she’s very kind. They’re a nice couple and I know they already love Isla a lot.”
“What if he tries to get custody?” her mom asked, clutching her blouse. “And takes Isla to live with him.”
“He won’t. We’ve already agreed to a plan. His life is too unpredictable for him to have a child in his care full time.” And Dylan didn’t have much experience with kids, but he knew enough that it was better for Isla to have calm and order in her life. “He just wants to be her dad. To be part of her life. I think that’s wonderful for Isla.”
“I don’t know.” Her dad shook his head. “This is all too sudden. You should have called us before you went off with him. We could have talked to him with you. Did you sign anything?”
“Not yet. And before I do, I’ll have my own lawyer look over it.” Meghan took a sip of lemonade, cooly surveying her parents over the rim. “I don’t need your help to sort this out. I’m an adult, and I know what’s best for Isla.”
Her mom blinked.
“It won’t change anything for you,” Meghan added. “Isla still loves you, she still wants to stay with you every now and again. But now she has even more people loving her. That can’t be a bad thing, can it?”
“I don’t know…” Her mom shook her head. “It’s all so sudden.”
“Well, Dylan’s headed to Europe now, so nothing will change for a while. You’ll have a chance to get used to it.”
“Can we meet this man when he’s back home?” her dad asked.
“Yeah. You’ll be seeing a lot of him, I imagine.” At birthday parties, school shows, and then one day at graduations and weddings. Meghan’s stomach contracted as she thought about that. Each day Isla was growing up, and one day she’d leave home to start living her own life.
It was a bittersweet thought.
“Yes, time. That’s what we need.” Her dad nodded. He looked older than she’d noticed in a while. Smaller, too.
Maybe he wasn’t shrinking. Maybe she was growing. Not in size – she’d stopped at five-feet-three back when she was sixteen – but in confidence. In the knowledge that she could do this alone, but that she didn’t need to.
She’d gone from being a single parent to having to share her child with others who loved her. She’d have to get used to it, too.
“We should go,” Meghan said, “and let you eat your dinner.” There was one more hurdle she needed to face. She was going to have to get used to living next door to Rich Martin without being part of his world. To see him without touching him.
Maybe that was the biggest hurdle of all.
Work, eat, sleep, repeat.
That was all he seemed to do nowadays. And it made him feel even more exhausted than ever.
But exhaustion was good. Exhaustion meant you didn’t have to think. Not about the mistakes you made in the past, or the ones he was still making.
He restarted hearts, mended broken bones, called for consults on blood test results. Then he trudged home and threw himself into bed only to do it all over again the next day.
But today was different. Today he could see that the envelope sticking out of Meghan’s mail box was gone, and that there was a sticky fingermark on the tenth floor button on the elevator. Like a kid had eaten ice cream and licked her fingers before pressing it.
A kid like Isla.
None of this is actually about Meghan. It’s about you and how scared you are of getting hurt again.
James’ words echoed in his mind, the way they had since their coffee break at the hospital.
Twice she’d tried to talk to him, and twice he’d pushed her away. She’d been a stronger, braver person than he could ever hope to be. The thought of it felt like a weight pushing down on him, making him walk slowly out of the elevator, and over to his apartment.
You push people away before they can leave you. But the end result is still the same. You’re still alone.
He was still alone. He’d never felt it so keenly as he was right now, looking at her door and knowing she was there. He wanted to knock on it, to throw himself at her mercy, to beg her to forgive him.
But it wasn’t enough. She deserved more than empty promises. She deserved somebody who’d fight himself for her. Who’d always put her and Isla first.
And he wasn’t that guy. Not yet. But he wanted to be, so much so it almost hurt.
