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SAGE
Ipulled a flyer off my motel room door with my free hand as I talked to Kiara on the phone. This wasn’t the first one I’d gotten. A major college was only a couple of blocks away, and apparently, they were inviting anybody who wanted to come. I’d seen some college kids at the motel here and there. They would rent rooms to party because this motel didn’t really care who stayed. That was the whole point of why I’d chosen it. When they saw me, they always invited me to the party, figuring I was just another college student. My answer was always no.
“You should come,” a voice said from behind me.
Kiara stayed quiet on the phone as I turned around and saw a couple of girls from the college staring at me. They both looked to be about my age. I was about to tell them no but hesitated. It would be so nice to talk to people my own age again. Enjoy some drinks. Have fun.
“Where is it?” I asked timidly.
One of the girls smiled. “About fifteen miles away. Where there’s more space. We’re having a huge bonfire and everything. It’s supposed to be fun. Pretty much the whole college is going.”
The other girl chimed in. “We’re leaving in a half hour if you want to come with us. Or you can follow us in your car. I’m Hannah and that’s Jordan.”
“Thank you for the invite. I’ll think about it.”
“Great, if you’re out here when we leave, then you can follow us,” Hannah said as the girls turned and went back into their room.
“You should go,” Kiara told me through the phone, having heard the conversation.
“I don’t know.”
“Go. You need some fun in your life. It’s one night. I’m only a phone call away. Drink and party, and I can come get you if you need,” Kiara tried convincing me.
I sucked in a deep breath as I stepped into my motel room. She was right. It had been forever since I’d laughed. Or had fun.
I gave in. “Fine, I’ll go. But keep your phone on loud, please.”
“Of course, Sage. Call me if you need anything.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed. For the first time since I had disappeared, I decided to do something reckless. It had been six months. Chicago was hours away from home. I could forget my troubles for one night.
I pulled out a pair of jeans that I hadn’t worn in forever. They were the nicest ones I had. I threw on a white cropped shirt and a blue jean jacket. It was February, and even though it had been a mild winter, it was still cold. I glanced in the mirror and made a mental note to stop at a drugstore. I hadn’t dyed my hair since coming to Chicago, and the red was beginning to show through.
Once I was ready, I stepped outside to see Hannah and Jordan. They were both nice and made small talk for a couple of minutes before we got ready to leave. I got in my car and followed Hannah out of the city limits to a house with a huge yard. There were already at least forty cars parked there.
Laughter filled the air as soon as I got out of the car. It made me yearn for my old life. Hannah got out of her car, and I stared at her hair. It was so blond it was almost white. Hannah was about the same height as me, while Jordan was shorter. Jordan had jet-black hair, and it was cut in a short pixie cut. Both girls were wearing blue jeans with different color cropped shirts under their jackets. It was more than a little cold out, but it was nothing alcohol and a bonfire couldn’t fix.
“You can stick with Jordan and me if you don’t know anyone else. As long as you’re up for fun and some drinking,” Hannah said before she and Jordan laughed and led the way around the back of the house.
My eyes grew wide as I realized how many people were here. At least a hundred, if not more. The girls hadn’t lied when they said the whole school was coming. I wondered whose house this was. There were three different bonfires blazing. All had random chairs surrounding them. Metal folding chairs, camping chairs, and even a bean bag. There was a barn behind the house with the doors wide open. Music was playing, and the kids had made a dancefloor inside the barn. The house looked like a perfect farmhouse from the movies. It was two stories, with white siding, black shutters, and a huge porch. They walked over to a group of tables that had more alcohol than I’d ever seen in one place, along with stacks of plastic cups.
“Here’s to new friends.” Jordan smiled before we all downed the first drink.
It wouldn’t take much to get me drunk since I had barely touched alcohol in the last year. But a couple of drinks wouldn’t hurt. If I was going to spend a night being reckless, I might as well live it up. After another drink, we walked over to one of the bonfires and met up with a few guys Jordan and Hannah knew. I was shy at first. It was overwhelming to be around so many people after spending so much time alone.
We all moved to the barn and started dancing. I danced and laughed with the group of people I was with. One guy’s hands landed on my hips as I danced. My first instinct was to pull away, but I fought it. I hadn’t been touched like that in a long time. Niko’s face popped into my mind, and my stomach heaved as I shook my head. What I’d done with him was something I wanted to forget.
We danced through four songs before deciding we needed another drink, and we walked back near the fires.
“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” Hannah said as she set down her cup.
“See you boys later,” Jordan called out with a flirty grin to the guys as we walked away.
I was feeling great. Only three drinks in, and I was in my happy place. Still functional but fuzzy enough to enjoy the night.
The farmhouse didn’t have a single light on, and Hannah pulled out her phone and turned on the flashlight when we walked inside.
“There’s a bedroom back here that has a bathroom in it,” she said, leading the way. “The guy whose parents live here made sure to tell everyone the house was off limits. But he’s a good friend, so we’re good to use the bathroom.”
“Yeah, just a friend,” Jordan joked.
A stab of sadness hit me as they laughed together. Best friends who were living life and having fun. That used to be Lacey and me. I pushed the feeling away. Tonight was about fun. Tomorrow could be real life again.
“You can put your bag in here if you want. No one will be in here,” Hannah offered.
I hesitated. I never went anywhere without that bag. It was my lifeline. But it was a hassle carrying it around all night and needing to find a place to put it when we danced again. I put the bag down and slid it under the bed. It would be fine for a couple of hours. I went to use the bathroom after Hannah and saw it connected to another bedroom.
The second we were back outside, more drinks were passed around, but this time I declined. I didn’t want to get drunk. As much fun as I was having, I really didn’t know these people. I needed to keep a decently clear head.
We danced some more and watched a dance contest break out. I joined everyone else and cheered on my favorite dancer. For a second, I felt like just another college kid. It was an amazing feeling. If only it were true.
We went to sit around the fire, and I listened to everyone talk about college life and the parties. It made me realize how much my life had changed. I used to belong at places like this. But not anymore.
“You smoke?” A guy was holding something out to me, and I was about to say no until I realized it wasn’t a cigarette. It was a small joint. I nodded and took it. I rarely smoked weed but could keep a better head on it than with alcohol. And it would help keep the fear away for a little while. If I was going to smoke, tonight would be the night to do it.
