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Chapter Nineteen
JULIAN
“Ican’t believe she just did that,” I say back in my home office as Eli sits and raises a brow at me. I knew Daniel had to be punished, and it’s not that I was weak but I didn’t want violence to be at the center of everything.
“Really?” he scoffs. “She sends you a box of hearts every year…”
It was one thing seeing the box with a heart in it, which I’d only actually seen the first time, and after that my assistant or Elijah had dealt with it. It was an entirely different thing to watch her carve it out of his chest, leaving an empty, bloody, pulp cavity. Then she’d wrapped it up in Saran wrap and held on to it the entire car journey home. It was currently sitting in a Tupperware tub in my fridge. There was a human heart in my fridge.
“I just never thought I’d actually witness her do that,” I admit as I loosen my tie and pour us both a glass of whiskey. It had been a long evening. “It was like a damn biology lesson.”
Eli chuckles. “I thought she was more like a butcher, she doesn’t have enough finesse to be a surgeon.”
I wholeheartedly agreed with that statement as I glanced down at my dirty shirt. I don’t know what possessed me to wear one of my suits this evening, because now there were blood splatters on it from where Rosie had brushed against me in the car afterwards. While she was cradling Daniel’s heart. Like a madwoman.
Shrugging Eli points out, “It’s her ‘thing’. Besides, it’s visually terrifying. It sends out the right message.”
“And that is?”
“Don’t fuck with me. Except she’s sending it from both of you now.” He was right. She used a serrated hunting knife for maximum mess too, they weren’t clean cuts. They were jagged and bloody, each one a warning. A terrifying, visceral warning that sent shivers down my spine. But was it actually from both of us?
“What does that mean?” Was she putting aside her plans to de-throne me? Did she no longer want to kill me or was it still my fate to end up like Daniel? A shiver runs through me as I picture myself in his place.
“You’re the one fucking the enemy, you tell me?” Elijah’s mouth tightens as he crosses his arms. His face is serious and I know he’s wondering the same thing as me: was Rosalyn Gambino still my number one threat? And if so, how did we deal with it?
“Right.” I nod. We’d moved past wanting to destroy each other surely, not that I had even wanted that to begin with.
Standing and stretching, Eli gives me a look. “Maybe you need to have a discussion with her.”
Yes. Maybe I do. I don’t know why my brain seems to falter when it comes to her. It’s like all my logical thoughts hide from her, afraid of her dark side. “Where is she?”
He shrugs. “Getting cleaned up, I guess. Go and check on her, I’ll check on the dinner.”
There it was again, that oddly domestic feeling. Almost like I had a home, and not just a house, and it was filled with family. Actual family, and not The Family or people who pretended to support me. I wanted to cling to this for a little longer because I wasn’t ready for it to end just yet.
I smile. “You’re staying for food then?”
He snorts and points towards the kitchen. “Can you smell that? Of course, I’m staying. That woman missed her calling in life.”
I tilt my head, thinking about what I’d seen of Rosie Gambino this week. She’d dominated my house, been submissive in my bedroom and handled shit like a professional when I’d been faced with a threat. She’s been born and raised to rule. They’d tried to break her, and she’d come back stronger. This was a role she was designed for.
“I don’t know, I think she’s pretty perfect as the Queen of Hearts.”
Iknock softly on the bathroom door before letting myself in. She’s standing in fresh underwear that I bought her, the bloody clothes already bagged and on the floor by her feet as she scrubs her hands and nails in the sink.
I watch the pink water swirling down the plughole as she smiles at me in the mirror. I want to freeze this moment because she looks perfect, her cheeks flushed, blonde hair tousled, a glint in her eye, and the blood under her nails isn’t even an issue because I see her for who she is. She’s a killer Queen and power radiates from her. It’s mesmerizing.
“So, I’m guessing you didn’t come here just to watch?” she teases, turning and pulling me in for a kiss. She even tastes good, and I deepen the embrace trying to burn this memory into my brain. I want more. Always more. Why did poison have to taste so sweet?
I bury my face into her neck for a few moments, inhaling that dark cherry smell, tinged with blood and it’s intoxicating.
We break apart, breathless but still wrapped up in one another and it takes me a moment to realize that she’s still waiting for a response to her question.
“Huh?”
Her mouth lifts into a half-smile. “You look serious again, something you want to say?”
Oh. That’s why I was here. I wanted to see where I stood, what this meant to both of us. If it meant anything at all to her. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet, I hadn’t had nearly enough of her. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was becoming obsessed with Rosie Gambino.
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Once we deal with Valentina, the stupid little coup of theirs will be crushed. But what about you?”
She frowns, taking a step back and I want to run my thumb over her forehead and smooth out the creases, as she asks, “Me?”
“Your little rebellion?” I say with a nod, my voice solemn.
Rosie shrugs nonchalantly, avoiding my gaze. “What about it?”
I lean against the wall with my arms crossed. “What happens next?”
“We go back to before. This was just . . .” She talks with her hands, waving them as if she could conjure the right word.
When that doesn’t happen, I supply it for her. “A game?”
She looks annoyed, almost insulted. “No. But this can’t happen Jay. There is too much between us.”
“Rosie…” I grind my teeth, I don’t know why I’m getting angry; I knew it would be like this. I knew that before it even got this far. Rosie’s anger was so deeply ingrained, and dear old Daddy never taught forgiveness, only hate, power and revenge.
It strikes me that we’re complete opposites, my childhood was nothing but pain and hate and yet forgiveness is always my first choice. Vincent may have loved his daughter, but he was a fucking idiot for warping her into a single-minded weapon, where moving on is the last option after death.
“Your father killed my parents,” she reminds me with a hiss as she tries to turn away. “You helped. Do you want me to forget that?”
I exhale sharply, frustrated at her words. Even after all this time, did she not understand what I was trying to do that night? I was twenty-two, with no influence and no power to stop anything, so I did the only thing I could.
“I didn’t help him! I tried to help you,” I growl, grabbing her arm and forcing her to face me.
“Help me?” She scoffs. “I could have saved them; I could have fought your father. Helped them escape. Something. Anything.”
“No.” I shake my head. “That night was inevitable. I just tried to protect you from seeing it.”
She had been a clueless girl that night, completely oblivious to The Family and how it really worked. Vincent had kept her separate and trained her, but he never actually prepared her for the realities. Great, so she could kill someone, but could she navigate the political aspects? The backstabbing? The betrayals? Not everything required brute force. What he’d done was essentially build himself a protector, the ultimate subservient bodyguard, only he’d gotten himself killed before he could climb any higher up the hierarchy.
“I can’t accept that,” she shouts, hands balled into fists as her eyes begin to fill with tears. It’s like a tightening in my chest as I see her hurt, I understand her loss. She loved them and she lost everything, my father had ensured it. However, that didn’t change the fact that there was more than just one side to that night.
I try to explain carefully, but I know it’s no use. “Your father was challenging Frank, stealing money from the businesses and trying to turn others against The Family. He was a traitor, Rosalyn. You know what happens to traitors, you’ve just done it yourself.” I reach out to touch her shoulder but she shrugs me away.
“No, he wasn’t…he wouldn’t.” She steps back away from me. She’s bringing that iron wall down between us and I wish she could see that I never wanted to hurt her. I never meant to cause her more sadness.
I capture her hand in mine, trying to soothe her. “He was. They found all the ledgers and paperwork to prove it.”
“I can’t do this Julian,” she whispers as she pulls herself free.
Pushing on, I carry on telling her what I know, what I’d learned over the years. “Your mother had an affair when you were eight, we think you might have a sibling somewhere. Your father wasn’t an easy man, Rosie and your parents weren’t as perfect as you think they were.”
I know my words sting. I can see her flinch but I don’t want any more secrets or misunderstandings between us. That night my only aim was to shield her from seeing her parents as traitors, and save her from watching them be punished for it.
“How do you feel?” I press, trying to reach her behind the barriers she was putting up so fast I barely had any hope of getting through.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she murmurs, “Confused. Sad. Angry.”
“Stay with me. Be mine.” It’s like I’ve used the wrong choice of words as I see her shut off completely. Her eyes go flat and her mouth pulls into a straight line.
Pushing back her shoulders, she drawls, “I won’t be your pet, Julian. It’s been nice, baking and pretending that I’m some pretty little housewife. But that’s not me.”
I make a sound of protest but she raises her hand to silence me. Rosalyn Gambino is not done putting me in my place just yet.
“Tonight, I acted the same as your Left Hand. I am not one of your Captains or one of your soldiers. And I won’t be relegated to that role.” She looks back in the mirror, running a hand through her hair and fixing her make-up.
“That’s not what you are,” I grind out, frustrated that she’s refusing to see what’s right in front of her face. The potential we have together is incredible. The chemistry is off the charts. Doesn’t she feel this too?
She looks over her shoulder at me with an eyebrow raised. “Really? Because I know how everyone else will see it. Look, there’s Julian, isn’t it incredible how he tamed that little bitch and brought her under his thumb.”
“Rosie…” I grab her wrist, but she slaps me away. I reach out and try to get hold of her again, but this time she twists my arm and slams my face against the mirror, cracking the glass.
“I think you’ve forgotten who I am,” she sighs before letting go and turning her back on me. “It’s time for me to leave.”
