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Totally healthy relationship.
She changed the topic. “Tell me about where you grew up. Who you were.”
His hand stilled for a breath of a moment, but then he stroked her hand with his thumb. “It’s not that exciting.”
“Come on. I want to know. You’re so self-contained. I’d love a little glimpse into young Rafe.”
He silently brushed his thumb over her skin for a moment, but when he spoke, his voice was low. “Well, you already know about my parents. My life is divided into two sections—before and after.”
She understood that. “Okay. What were you like before?”
He shrugged. “I guess I was sort of invisible in a sea of other kids just like me. I was a good student, good athlete. My parents were pretty strict. Dad didn’t fuck around, ya know? And if I’m being honest, I didn’t want to disappoint them.” He was silent for a moment. “After, things were… different.”
“Did you change?”
“Had to. I had to become more responsible. I know Nonna was there, but I felt like I had to take care of Lucia. I needed to be there for her. I couldn’t be quite so selfish.”
“You were just a kid though.”
“I didn’t see it that way. She was younger. I’d had more time with Mom and Dad. I felt like I needed to give her some of what they’d given me growing up.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“On the flip side, that neighborhood, it forced me to toughen up too. There was way more trouble than I’d ever been exposed to out in the burbs of Connecticut. In Brooklyn if I put a toe out of line, someone bigger and badder would beat my ass.”
“So you learned to be the biggest and baddest, I’m assuming?”
He squeezed her tight. “You better believe it. In that neighborhood, it was kind of prison rules. You had to establish that it might not be a good idea to mess with you. And you had to do it quick.”
She couldn’t even fathom growing up like that. “How long did it take you?”
He chuckled. “Two days. Some kid was giving Lucia shit. So I kicked his ass. In all fairness, I was fucked up over my parents’ deaths. I just didn’t know it at the time. I also didn’t know that the kid had an older brother. One who’d come looking for me.”
She lifted her head to meet his gaze. “What happened?”
“He wanted to even the score.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “I had a lot of pent-up anger.”
“You poor kid.”
“Nonna had already raised one hellion in my dad. She took me to martial arts class. It helped calm some of that anger. But I learned quickly that I couldn’t stand for what I saw as injustice. I also learned that the martial arts would come in handy for… other things.”
She could just see him righting wrongs. “What, you were the Equalizer?”
His lips tipped into a wry smirk. “I fashioned myself a superhero. In reality, I was just angry. I did some other stupid shit too. Too much stupid shit. I’m lucky I didn’t end up dead.”
“But you probably did some good.”
“I like to think so. Once I settled down and took a look at the direction of my life, things were easier. I could access part of who I used to be. I got interested in school and sports again. It was a rough two years. But no one messed with Lucia or me.”
“How did Nonna take that?”
He grinned. “She was a tough old lady even then. She knew what I was up to. As long as I didn’t bring cops to her door and she knew I was safe, she let me do as I wanted. Knew that I had a firm sense of right and wrong. Even though I rode that line a few times, occasionally tipping my ass over, I corrected it.” He played with a lock of her hair. “What about you? What was little Diana like?”
She sighed and tore her gaze from his, squeezing his hand. “I grew up in central Pennsylvania but we spent a lot of time in Austria where my Dad grew up. Two older brothers. Mom died when I was eight. That left me with the guys.”
He studied her intently. “You must have missed her a lot.”
She nodded even as she tried to blink back tears. “I did. Once she was gone, I was so lonely. My brothers basically ignored me. Which was fine, I guess. They had a cruel streak to them when they played, and I preferred my dolls not to be decapitated.”
