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Chapter Twenty-Three
Rowan
It rains the entire day leading up to Sybil’s celebration of life. Not just a light spring shower, but a full-on downpour, complete with thunder and lightning. The sky mourns for her as I do. As we all do.
Ven, Maria, and I are busy for hours getting everything ready at Raven Manor. Coordinating the arrival of the caterers and the florist. Decorating the atrium behind the house. Welcoming the witches as they arrive, many having flown in from far stretches of the globe. It will be around two hundred of us in all.
It’s a good distraction from what happened the day before with Xander. I’ve been riding a rollercoaster of emotions since he dropped the bomb about his father and left. Anger is the easiest of the bunch. How dare he say something like that and then walk out? Is it too much to ask to talk things through like civilized people?
And if he thinks the Raven Society is so terrible, then why help us in the first place? Unless, of course, that’s just it. Everyone’s been trying to tell me, after all. The sheriff. Maria. Even Xander himself told me he hates witches.
Is it possible he’s behind everything, and using me to further his plan?
I don’t want to believe it, because if I do, then that means I’m the biggest idiot on the planet. Again. Lied to and betrayed by another man. And it would mean I’ve been intimate with my aunt’s killer, a sick fuck who murders witches in the most awful of ways. I’ll never forgive myself if it’s true.
Is the world really that cruel of a place?
Because it’s not only the shame I’d feel for what I’ve done with Xander physically. It’s the way he makes me feel. A feeling I didn’t think was even possible. The fairytale shit they tell little girls when they’re growing up, the kind of fire and passion that can defeat anything. That’s how I feel when we’re together. Combustible. Invincible. Endless. It makes no sense, because I barely know him, and we’re at each other’s throats most of the time. But there’s something about him… something I’ve never experienced before. Not even close.
Ironically, at some point between being a girl and being a woman, the message had warped. The fairytale was no longer knights and castles and adventure. I had looked for someone stable, compatible, with a good job and investment accounts. Someone good on paper. And then we became this picture-perfect couple buying the right house in the right neighborhood and filling it with the right furniture. A superficial image of happiness devoid of real love. Since when had Prince Charming morphed into someone with a country club membership and an IRA? At what exact moment had I decided to settle for something less than breathtaking, soul-nurturing, passionate love?
Not that I love Xander. That would be ridiculous.
“I need to ask you something,” I tell Maria as we start arranging the flowers around the atrium.
She looks up from unpacking vases. “Sure, what is it?”
I take a deep breath. “I need to know what involvement the Raven Society had in the death of Xander’s father.”
Maria straightens, her eyebrows shooting to the sky. “What is Xander to you, Rowan?” she asks slowly.
“Just answer my question,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
Maria sighs, and hesitates for so long, I wonder if she will refuse. “Darkness can be found in all places,” she begins at last. “Even among witches. The Society does not have a perfect past. Regrettable things were done. The witches involved in Xander’s father’s death were brought to justice eventually, both for that and for other crimes committed. We’ve tried to make amends since then, and make sure that we never slide onto the wrong side of history again.”
I nod. “Thank you for telling me the truth.” I hate that witches were responsible for such heinous crimes. But I’m still glad I know the truth. And I know that the Raven Society now represents goodness, because Sybil was at its helm.
“Xander does not seem to have noticed these efforts,” Maria continues. “That’s why I warned you about him. He’s carried a vendetta for a long time, and he doesn’t seem ready to let it go.” She drops her gaze a moment and then raises it to mine again. “He knows something about these killings. He might even be involved. You’re a grown woman, Rowan, so I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I strongly suggest you stay as far away from that man as possible.”
I nod again and head back into the house for more flowers. Maria has nothing to worry about. Xander’s made it quite clear he doesn’t support me in joining the Society, and I’m absolutely not willing to give it up. We’re at an impasse.
Before long, the day fades to late afternoon, and Ven finds me in the dining room, where the caterers have set up silver platters of food along the entirety of the huge mahogany table. Apparently, they’re witches, too: Enchanted Catering Company being a coy nod to their niche clientele.
“It’s time to get dressed,” Ven says, taking my hand and leading me toward the stairs. “This is a big night for you, in more ways than one.”
We climb the stairs, passing Minerva and Circe lounging halfway up. They’re swatting at dust bunnies in the beams of sunlight coming down from above. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it all day: my final goodbye to Sybil. And the first step into a brand-new life.
I pause outside my room and take in a shuddering breath. “I don’t think I’m ready to let her go.” Tears rush to the corners of my eyes and my throat feels thick.
“It’s going to be okay,” Ven says, stepping forward and embracing me. She strokes my back. “We all miss her. Not having her here in the flesh will hurt for a long time. But she’ll always be there for you in magic. Every time you cast a spell, or use your grimoire, she’s there in that space, in that energy that surrounds you. Forever.”
I sniffle and step back, looking into Ven’s purple eyes. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
She nods. “It’s not really goodbye. It’s just a change in the dynamic of your relationship.”
I feel a swell of emotion at the thought, and this time my face flushes with happy tears. Ven hugs me again.
“Come on. Go get in the shower and I’ll pick out some cloak options for you.”
