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“There was someone, but she, uh…”
I sit perfectly still, not wanting to break the moment. Something tells me this was more than just a bad breakup. “You don’t have to tell me, Chris. It’s none of my business.”
He’s quiet for a while. So quiet, in fact, I think he’s not going to say anything, but then he speaks.
“She was a girl I knew in high school—Rubi. We started dating when I was a senior and she was a sophomore. At first, she couldn't stand me.” Chris chuckles. “She thought I was just another dumb jock who was out to hit-and-quit. One night, I snuck into the school to free the frogs that were gonna be dissected the next day, and when I got there, she’d already done it. Her backpack was full of them, but they kept escaping. There were frogs everywhere, and she was chasing them around the science lab. I helped her catch them all, and we put them in an empty fish tank that used to house an old tarantula that had died a week before. Once we got them outside, we released them into a pond, and things changed from there. I asked her to the movies, she said yes, and that was that.”
“What happened?” I ask.
“She died in the 9/11 attacks.” He looks down at his hands, guilt etched on his face. I take them in my own.
“I’m sorry, Chris, that must’ve been so hard.” I squeeze his hands as I suck in a breath. “Does it make you feel bad that you were with me?”
Geez, that sounds really conceited, but I can’t imagine any other reason for the look on his face.
“No. Jesus, no. That’s not it at all. I don’t regret a moment with you.” He squeezes my hands back, and I hold my breath. “I know we’ve only been on two dates. Well, one if you don’t count the bar.” He smirks. “Any reactions you’re seeing from me right now have nothing to do with you. Honestly, I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a long, long time. I don’t know where this is going with us, but I do know I want to see more of you and get to know more about you. The guilt I’m feeling is because I feel responsible for her death.”
He goes silent for a long time, the shame still marring his features. Finally, he speaks again.
“Rubi worked for a publishing company in the Twin Towers. She’d just received her internship and was looking forward to the future. She was supposed to have the 11th off, but I’d arranged for a picnic on the 10th for our anniversary, so they swapped her days. She was in that building because of that.”
Oh shit. I don’t know how to respond and feel like an ass for asking. “I’m so sorry, Chris. I don’t know what to say.”
He looks up at me. “It’s been a long time. For the first few years, I could barely think about anything but Rubi, but the old adage about time healing wounds is true. Eventually, the pain dulled, and all I was left with was the guilt and that I could live with. Can live with. I deserve to live with it.”
“Chris, you have to know it wasn’t your fault.” I squeeze his hands again.
He smiles sardonically at me. “My sister tells me the same thing every September 11th.”
“Your sister sounds like a smart girl.”
“She’d agree with you.”
I grin. “What do you want to do now?”
Chris smirks. “I definitely don’t want to talk about my sister.”
I laugh as he covers my body and removes the blanket. That was a lot for him to share, and I feel grateful he was willing to open up about something so deeply personal with me. Then all thoughts leave my mind as Chris flips me around so my mouth is millimeters away from his hard cock. His lips latch onto my clit, and I moan long and low before wrapping my lips around his head in return.
