AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Dammit!“Fine, you win.”
Chris chuckles, and it makes me feel better that some of the tension he was holding onto has dissipated.
I set our places at the counter, preferring to eat in the kitchen where it feels more intimate than the dining room, and Chris refills my glass and gets himself another beer.
I shamelessly watch his Adam’s apple move as he swallows his drink and envision licking along his jawline. I blame his delicious threats and, deciding idle hands are indeed the devil’s work, whip together a small salad to have with the pasta. We work alongside each other in that comfortable silence of a couple who really know one another—stepping and side-stepping each other with the ease of choreographed dancers. When everything’s ready, we sit down, and I take a bite of my lasagna.
“Oh my God, this is so good,” I say with a mouthful of food.
Chris leans over and wipes a stray speck of white sauce from the corner of my mouth, and sucks it off his finger. Before we abandon this meal that Chris clearly prepared with a lot of love, I jump right in with the question I’d been wondering about all night.
“So, why did the plans change? Not that I’m complaining.” I take another small sip of wine.
Chris swallows his own food and picks up his beer. He starts peeling the label off the bottle, something he does when he’s deep in thought, and I get a little kick in my stomach. You know what I’m talking about, that warning trip that tells you to prepare for the worst.
“They called the training off early.”
“Yeah, I kinda got that.” I chuckle, but it sounds nervous.
Chris’s laugh falls a little flat itself. He leans over the table and takes my hands in his.
Uh oh.
“So, I’m being deployed tomorrow evening.”
“Oh, I see.” I want to inhale the contents of my wine glass, but I don’t want to move my hands from his. Since that first time, right at the beginning of our relationship, he hasn’t been deployed, and I was becoming complacent about our lives together. I know it’s stupid. You never get complacent when you are in a relationship with a marine on active duty, but I guess you live and learn.
“Where are you going?”
I see it, his mask that so effortlessly slips into place when I ask him anything about his job.
“Turkey.”
“And I guess you can’t tell me what for?”
“’Fraid not.”
This is where things get tricky. I know Chris is a military guy to his core, and he takes pride in serving his country and serving it the way he does. His loyalty is one of the things I love about him. But I’m not gonna lie, it kind of stings that he doesn’t tell me. Even though I know deep down it isn’t about trust, I want to be the person he confides in.
“How long will you be gone?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs and looks remorseful. I don’t want him to be torn between me and his job. I know this was part of the deal, and I need to accept this makes Chris, Chris.
I stand and clear the plates. The meal was delicious, but I’ve lost my appetite. I scoop the leftovers into the trash and rinse the plates off. I don’t even hear him make a move, but his arms come around my waist, and he kisses my neck. I love how this feels. How at home I feel in his arms. I feel the moment get heavy, and it’s the last thing I want after such a wonderful day.
“I’ll make you a deal.” The words come out all breathy, and water sloshes over the sink because I’m so distracted.
“Mmm.” His lips vibrate against my neck.
“Since you’re going away and I will have free rein over the TV, why don’t you choose what we watch tonight.”
Chris turns me around, his hands resting on my hips as he stares at me in contemplation. “How about Santa Clarita Diet?”
I swear, at that moment, I literally swoon. I know for a fact he hates Santa Clarita Diet. He thinks it is over-the-top ridiculous, but instead of watching Breaking Bad, he’s going to watch my show. This guy is a keeper.
I wrap my arms around his neck and look up at him. “I’ll take it. But why don’t we carry on where we left off this morning first?”
I realize that this is the last night I’ll be sleeping next to Chris until he comes back. If he comes back.
No, I’m not going there. He’s been deployed before, and everything was fine. I bury my face in his neck, hoping he won’t see the tears.
Stop it, Jess. This is going to be a fun night.
The moment Chris drops me on our bed, I reach for him. He leans over my body, biceps straining against his T-shirt.
I’m just about to see if I can get him to engage in some roleplay to take my mind off my depressing thoughts when my phone rings.
Perfect freaking timing.
