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“Oh, God. That’s actually too cute.” I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest as I watched Julian. Maybe it was the sun hitting his brilliant smile, but it looked like he was beaming at the mere thought of his family.
“Meanwhile, my grandmother was glued to the game. She loved her grandkids, but if there was baseball going on, she wasn’t taking her eyes off the field for anything.”
“So, she came here from Germany, went straight to a game to get a feel of Americana, and then became the most hardcore baseball fan in your family?” I clarified, completely charmed.
“Absolutely,” Julian replied. Oh, yeah. The man was beaming. “She likes to pull my President of Baseball Operations aside every once in awhile, and give her some pointers on who to sign during free agency. She’s almost ninety now, but still keeps a mental Rolodex of player contracts and salaries throughout the league, just to think of possible trade scenarios. The players think she’s terrifying. They call her Rosemarie The Reaper.”
“Oh my God.” I had to take my sunglasses off to wipe at the tears squeezing from the corners of my eyes from laughing so hard. “Are you sure it’s not your grandma you take after, Julian?”
“You know, it’s gotta be a mix of both her and Dad,” Julian decided with a little smile. “I’m a reflection of them. Emmett’s a reflection of Grandpa.”
“In that case, your entire family had to be your grandparents’ favorites. There’s no way they weren’t.”
“Oh, we were. And we still are. Though for different reasons now, probably.”
I stilled as I remembered that there was a reason we were here on this boat. There was a part of this story that wasn’t about flowers and baseball and strictly good times. I knew that part was coming as I watched Julian’s curved mouth fade back to a line.
“I was twenty-three when my grandpa’s cancer spread to his bones. I remember me and Emmett and my parents spending a lot of time in hospice with him and Grandma. We would just play cards, or talk, or watch the game, but it was good. It felt like we were taking our time to say goodbye, and we were leaving off on some laughter and good conversation. We took the time to make new memories instead of just talking about the old ones. Though we did that too. It was just a nice, peaceful time, all things considered. Both my grandparents accepted what was happening, and for the most part, they were at peace with it.
“But my aunts and uncles and cousins visited occasionally to quickly ask how my grandpa was feeling before interrogating him about the will. They were afraid he was leaving his best real estate to my father, because he was the favorite.”
“Oh, Jesus,” I whispered.
I had only heard about t
hese family battles over wills and money. I didn’t have a big enough family myself to see it happen, and I really couldn’t process that things could ever get so ugly among blood – especially over something as trivial as money.
“Yeah, they were shameless. And horrible,” Julian said evenly.
There he goes.
I could always tell when a topic upset Julian. He always carefully extracted any and all emotion from his voice, carrying on with a calm that was strictly uninterpretable. The only tell was in his eyes, but today, he had those covered. In that sense, shades were like his superhero cape.
“My dad wanted to keep peace with his siblings,” Julian said. “He felt like my grandpa deserved to see his family whole before he went. And I resented that. I hated keeping quiet when these people came barreling in during our last conversations with him. We would be talking about something that was making Grandpa laugh when they’d storm through demanding answers about the will. My cousin, Paul, was the worst of anyone. He was the oldest, he was married, and he had his second child on the way, so he was hell-bent on inheriting some real estate. He pushed everyone aside to badger my grandfather till he was in tears. I don’t remember what I did, but I snapped. I remembered everyone screaming for me to stop, and I know I at least dragged Paul out of the room before I choked him out. Emmett pulled me off of him before I could do any more damage. But really, the damage was done. Everyone was screaming and crying. My dad pulled me aside and tore me a new asshole for treating family like that.”
“But what about the way they were treating their family?” I argued, my own voice shaking with the fury I felt over Julian’s asshole cousin forcing his grandfather to cry on his deathbed. “How could he possibly care about just the property when your grandfather was about to – ”
I cut off because I didn’t want to say it. Julian gripped the wheel of the boat tight.
“I know. Nothing made sense to me that day, and I felt like I was helpless for once. Everyone was furious with me, and I couldn’t stick around without doing more damage, so I talked alone with my grandfather. He said he loved me, he understood, and he knew I needed to just get away for a bit – to cool off. He said that we’d say goodbye now. Just in case.”
I hugged my knees tight against my chest. I knew where this story was going, and I couldn’t take it. My heart was twisting and turning as I waited for Julian to just say it, but obviously, he needed time.
For awhile, it was just the silence and the sound of the motor as the yacht continued sailing toward the skyline.
“I took my bike, actually. It was my preferred getaway, too,” Julian finally said, and with the kind of strained smile I knew was for the purpose of bracing your emotions. Inching closer to him, I dared to reach for his hand. Before I could tell myself to pull back and give him some space, he took my hand in his. I stared down at our fingers entwined, a little amazed by the notion of my touch providing him comfort.
“Where did you go?” I asked softly.
“Nowhere in particular,” he said. “I just rode. I rode for probably five hours to calm myself down. I was close to Martha’s Vineyard by the time my heart was beating normally again. But when I checked my phone, I had more than fifty missed calls, texts and voicemails.
I closed my eyes for a second. “Your grandfather passed?” I wasn’t sure if he’d even heard my whisper of a question, but then he gave my hand a squeeze.
“No,” he said. “It was my dad. He had a massive heart attack an hour after I left.”
I covered my mouth.
I couldn’t speak for a moment.
