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When I felt her grab my wrist, I promptly yanked it back, finally facing her and her look of thorough amusement. “Are you fucking kidding me?” My voice was shaky but I did my best to gather myself before going on. “Honestly, Jenna, how old are you? What does it accomplish for you to tell a bunch of strangers that I’m fucking my stepbrother? And to pay my rent? I truly can’t even wrap my brain around how immature you are.”
“Me? Immature? You’re the one who hit me up just to gloat.”
“Where did you even get that idea? I had no intention to gloat, Jenna, I came here to ask you if you could find it in yourself to keep what you saw the other night a secret, but I should’ve known that you’d never just volunteer to be a decent person.”
She laughed bitterly. “Please. As far as you’re concerned, I haven’t said shit about you yet. Those guys in there don’t know you. They don’t care about you. They have their own fucked up lives and secrets to worry about, so don’t flatter yourself, girl. You’re not even a blip on their radar, you’re just some slut they met at lunch.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I muttered, walking off. She followed.
“Honestly, that would be you.” She slid her hands casually into the pockets of her pencil skirt as she traipsed next to me. “Seriously. I mean that as a compliment, Sash. I never thought you’d have the ability to out-bitch me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You know what you did the other day,” Jenna sneered, walking faster to keep up. “I told you I was going for Liam and you knew you’d lose him to me if I got the jump so you used the one and only advantage you have on me, a.k.a the sexual taboo of being his stepsister, and you fucked him. Before he could ever get a taste of me.” We were moving fast but I felt her eyes searing into mine as she waited for some sort of reaction. “Oh, Sash, honey, please. You’re a smart girl. Don’t pretend this isn’t just a novelty fuck for him. Don’t act like you think he’ll actually stay interested past a couple weeks – maybe another month, tops.”
I clenched my teeth, hating that her words had any power to make me think. And doubt. I hated that her stupid taunting had any effect on my psyche.
“You know you’re only setting yourself up for hurt.” Jenna caught up to walk in front of me. I stopped and cut my eyes to her as we stood on the corner of Fortieth and Lex, the busy Midtown rush milling past our total standstill. My throat tight, I glared, struggling hard to find my voice.
“Whatever I’m doing, Jenna,” I started, “it’s none of your business.”
“Isn’t it though, babe? I can always tell everyone you know about your nasty little family fling. I mean holy shit, I can tell Ethan,” Jenna breathed, as if only just realizing that she could. Her smile parted with delight as she caught my reaction. “Oh my god, you’d hate that,” she murmured slowly, shaking her head of long, blonde hair and letting out a laugh. “Oh God, poor girl. Look at you in your wannabe girl-boss outfit. You are so see through. Just because you’re wearing red lipstick and fucking Liam right now doesn’t mean you’re not the same girl. The same weak pushover who stayed with an abusive idiot for years because she had nothing else going for her. You’re way too nice, Sasha, and that’s not a compliment. You don’t know how to fight, or manipulate or scare off the way hotter girls who are going to go after your man. You’re boring. And once Liam realizes that being his stepsister doesn’t make you a better fuck or anything close to wife material, mark my words, he will leave you.” Watching me closely, Jenna’s hungry eyes glinted, feeding off my vulnerability. When she bit her lip with satisfaction, I knew she’d seen the tears in my eyes. Goddamnit. I hadn’t let them fall but they were there, welling heavy and giving away the fact that she’d possibly hit the nail on the head.
Because my confidence only came in spurts. And I wasn’t sure I could keep Liam’s interest. I wasn’t sure if what he felt for me was real or fueled by taboo. More than anything, I might not be able to handle the pressure of being with him – of constantly facing naysayers and negativity and insecurity. It would never stop with a man like Liam. He wasn’t someone who could walk around unnoticed, un-approached. He attracted attention everywhere he went and with attention came trouble and complication.
“Oh, Sash,” Jenna gave an exaggerated pout. “Poor babe. Guess you just have to wait till your little fluke runs its course.”
I felt my cheeks flex as my jaw tightened. I wish I had some cutting comeback in my arsenal – something I could use to cut down her ridiculously smug satisfaction. But I had nothing. “I’ve got nothing to tell you, Jenna,” I muttered.
“I know, sweetheart. I know you’ve got nothing. And you’ll have even less once Liam realizes he’d rather have me than you.” With a shrug, she gave a little wave. “Anyway, I’ll let you go. But I’ll see you soon, love. Maybe at Liam’s Halloween party?” She tossed a seductive wink. “I’ve already got my costume, but you should definitely make sure to wear something extra sexy,” she said, a distinct mischief in her voice.
And then she waltzed away, glancing over her shoulder to confirm one last time that in this particular exchange, she had hands down walked away with the victory.
Chapter Thirteen
To my relief, Riley gave me the next day off at the bar, so instead of heading to work, I went to help Aria clean up her moderately trashed apartment.
“If it’s any consolation, now that I’m roommate-less, you can crash here whenever you want. In case you get tired of Liam because you’ve… I don’t know, lost your mind completely or stopped desiring men,” Aria snorted. She paused in the middle of tying a trash bag and looked at me, groaning to the ceiling when I didn’t laugh. “Oh my God, woman. In case you’re being classic Sasha right now and feeling bad about this, it’s not your fault. What happened between you and my cousin has nothing to do with why she
moved out. She was going to anyway. She said it herself.”
My lip curled as I picked up the mess of old shopping bags, receipts and empty tubes of Chanel lip gloss that littered Jenna’s old bedroom floor. “Well, I have a feeling she left it such a mess because she’s not happy you picked me over her.”
Aria pursed her lips. “Well, with that you might have a point. But so what? The thing that sucks about family is that you can never figure out when to cut the bad apples out of your life completely. Most people never do. But you, my friend,” Aria grinned broadly, “just made that decision for me. So with all my heart, and on behalf of my newly returned spine, I thank you.”
I laughed. “You’re sweet.” She was spinning what happened into something positive, but in reality, it was far more of a shitshow. After my disaster of a meeting with Jenna in Midtown, I’d gone home, cried and wallowed in more insecurity than I’d ever felt in all my twenty-five years. I sat on the couch all day, didn’t bother to turn on the lights when it got dark, and when Liam came home, I promptly pretended to be asleep. I’d done it to him before but this time was far less sexy since I was wrapped in an afghan, my hair in a sloppy bun and my cheeks streaked with dry tears.
Liam’s voice had been in my ear, murmuring softly, calling me “baby” to see if I’d wake up. But when I didn’t stir, he turned off the TV and carried me to bed. I pretended to wake a little once I felt him lift me easily off the couch, but by then, he was kissing my forehead and telling me to go back to sleep.
So I did. Or I tried. I spent a few hours tossing and turning while wondering what Liam saw in me. And then I fell asleep, all the insecurities I’d unearthed still awake and lurking in my brain. It wasn’t the best night’s slumber but thankfully, I’d woken up this morning to an empty house, which meant I didn’t have to hide my mood from Liam, who was annoyingly perceptive when it came to my emotions.
“Woman, you look like hell,” Aria said as she watched me clean her house like a zombie.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t sass me. I just can’t stand to see you so torn apart anymore. Maybe you and Liam should just come out as a couple and just rip off the band-aid.”
“A hundred percent no.”
