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“Yeah.” I shifted uncomfortably. In the last five months of my relationship with Ethan, I’d become a little obsessed with the idea of having a dog. I was lonely. Admittedly, I’d caved in some ways and stopped seeing Liam as much when Ethan requested it. Before I even moaned his name in my sleep, I’d apparently talked to and seen Liam enough to make Ethan feel threatened, so he had limited me to once every week or two and shamefully, I’d agreed. Aria used to visit, of course, but Ethan didn’t like having guests sleep over, and he was averse to me sleeping over her house because it meant he’d have no one to come home to at 3AM. So often, I was alone, and eventually, I fell in love with a chubby little Shar-Pei mix I found on Instagram – rescued from an abusive home in Florida and miraculously, available for adoption barely thirty miles from us in New Jersey. Admittedly, I obsessed over Daisy. She was part pug, part something else, and so cute I did a week-and-a-half of dog-owning research complete with Excel-made expense sheets and lists of companies that walked and babysat for when Ethan wanted to go on vacation.
But he shut down my proposal before I could begin and barely looked at my research before tossing it aside and laughing. He said he wasn’t a dog person, that wouldn’t change, and that I should let it go. Of course, every time he wanted something from me, he’d dangle Daisy in front of my nose. “If you help me host a dinner for my new clients, I’ll think about adopting that dog – especially if it’s really good,” or, “If you help my brother spy on Ashley at her bachelorette, I’ll start thinking seriously about Daisy.”
Like an idiot, I did all those things. And he never got Daisy.
Apparently not till now.
“Where is she?” I asked quietly. I had only ever become obsessed with Daisy because of how lonely I was, but still, I couldn’t help the excitement building in my bones.
“She’s with the neighbors right now. Remember the Colemans in 5J?”
“Yes.”
“She has playdates with their lab sometimes,” Ethan said, watching me closely because he knew I was dying to gasp and coo and act like the girlfriend he remembered. “Anyway, I dropped her off downstairs for a bit so you could come in and we could concentrate on talking before getting, you know, crazy excited over the puppy.”
My stomach flipped at the word “puppy.” God, it was such a cheap shot, but I had to hand it to Ethan – he knew how to manipulate me. He always had.
“So what exactly did you want to talk about, Sasha?” Ethan asked, leaning sideways against the couch, his latte resting on his knee as he gazed expectantly at me. I looked away, hating how familiar it felt to sit with him in this room. Even more, I hated that I had to keep this a secret from Liam. On top of the discomfort of even being in my old apartment, I was wrestling shame, guilt and fear all at once.
“Well.” I took a sip of my latte to stall, realizing I had no idea what I really wanted to say. “I thought it’d be best for us to get some closure. Considering what happened the last time we saw each other.”
“I’m sorry about that,” Ethan blurted straightaway. I was surprised, having expected him to grin or smirk or say something about how I looked too good for him not to touch. Instead, he raked his hand through his blonde hair and held a frustrated handful as he shook his head. “That was… Christ, that was so fucked up. I was so fucked up. And I’ve been wanting to apologize to you for that, but you blocked my number and Aria refused to put me in contact with you. Which I get. I acted like a piece of shit and I was drunk, but that’s no excuse. I just hope that you believe me when I say that I’ve felt like garbage every day since that happened. It was a turning point for me, and I’ve been taking steps since then – to become more like the man you’ve always wanted me to be.”
My nose wrinkled instinctively at his hopeful words. I forced myself to make a neutral face, but I couldn’t believe he still thought that we were on some kind of break – that we weren’t actually broken up. I wanted to laugh in his face and tell him I was too smart to fall for his epiphany speech, or be his girlfriend ever again. But I didn’t. Instead, I nodded, expertly hiding the look of disgust that wanted so desperately to crawl onto my face.
“So adopting Daisy was step one of being a changed man, I’m guessing.”
“Yes.” Ethan flashed me half of that cocky grin of his. “Did I do good?”
I ignored his question to ask my own. “Can I see her yet?”
“You wanna come downstairs with me to get her? I’m sure the Colemans would love to see you. Bridget keeps asking when you’ll visit for another girl’s night. We could even do that double date night we only ever talked about.”
“Ethan,” I started warningly.
“What – too fast? Sorry. Thought I could trick you into thinking you were my fiancée again,” he joked, his laugh almost sheepish. I wrangled my revulsion.
“No, it’s just… I don’t want to go down there and spend two hours catching up with Bridget. It’s a little too much today. But I do really want to see Daisy,” I said, managing to crack a laugh. “Can you please just go get her? You have to realize that I’m dying here.”
“Oh, I’m aware,” Ethan grinned. “And it was all part of the plan to win you back.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll sit here. Just get her.”
“Fine. But only because you asked so nicely,” Ethan grinned.
I chuckled for him. But the second he was out the door, I went for the bedroom. My pulse went from steady to pounding in a second as I shut the door behind me, making a beeline for my nightstand. Tearing open the drawer, my heart nearly jumped out my throat because I immediately spotted the letters, neatly stacked and bound together with a green rubber band. But they were buried under all my other junk, so digging through, I grabbed them, slamming the drawer shut right away and returning to the living room.
I was shoving the letters in my purse when the front door sw
ung open.
“Hey.” Ethan stared at me, clearly having caught a glimpse of the letters before I put them away. “Forgot her leash,” he said slowly, eyeing me. “What was that?” He stood still as he let the door close behind him. I knew I looked like a deer in headlights, and I knew that every second that passed without an answer only made me look worse.
“It was my diary,” I blurted as he came toward me, eyes on the purse that I clutched to my chest. “I’m sorry, I had to grab it. I was just embarrassed it was here – I was afraid you might read it and I only wanted it back so I could throw it – Ethan!” I gasped as he grabbed my bag, yanking with all his might. I fought back, hugging it to my body and trying to twist away from him. It didn’t work. I cried out as I found myself flying to the ground, though my hands and knees had barely smacked the hardwood before I was up again and lunging.
“Give them to me!” I seethed, fighting his instant grip on my wrist as I went at him, reaching for the letters.
“What are these, huh? Love letters to Liam?” he demanded, holding the envelopes high above my head. “God, you’re so fucking ridiculous about this stupid crush, Sasha. I can’t fucking believe this,” he snarled, shoving me furiously toward the door. Before I knew it, he threw it open and flung me out like a trash bag, slamming the door in my face.
