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“So this is illegal,” I clarified.
“Technically, yes.”
“And my… partaking in this would also be considered against the law?”
Abram grinned at my phrasing. “Yes. Hopefully, being a part of what we do will ease Nate’s nerves.”
It made sense. For some reason, I wasn’t averse to any of this. I could feel a thrill building in me as the car arrived at the Monarch. “And what exactly will I be doing?”
“The same thing you were doing this morning. But in a much shorter dress.”
I flashed my brows at him. “Am I going to be a cocktail waitress? I can’t carry those trays.”
“You’ll learn.”
I laughed at his simple answer. I had no doubt that Abram was one of those annoying guys who could watch things once and then just do it. “Are you going to be there?”
“I used to oversee most nights but I haven’t had the time lately.”
Right. Because of all that important business to take care of. Looking down at my hands, I swallowed. “Who was that man in the alley?” I dared to ask.
“That’s nothing you need to know about,” Abram said before firmly changing the subject. “Someone will be waiting for you at the hotel when you get in. He’ll walk you through everything.”
“You won’t be there?”
“Unfortunately not. I have a flight to catch in an hour.”
“Oh. Okay, so am I…” I hated that I needed to ask this. “Am I going to see you again?” Only then did I truly understand what he’d told me at Alma’s. Abram was attracted to me but he had every intention of nipping that attraction in the bud. The realization swept me with a sudden wave of hurt. Damn it. I hadn’t even realized how badly I wanted this man until I realized I’d never get to have him. I had breathed the same thick, lust as him last night, felt completely intoxicated by the fire he started in my bones and could only imagine what he’d finally feel like inside me. But that was all I could actually do anymore – imagine. “What is it that’s going on right now?” I blurted my question. It was stupid. I knew he had to be involved in something deep, something a million times bigger than what I was, but I was suddenly so desperate, so eager to know.
“I promise you’re better off not knowing.”
“But – ”
“Isla.” Abram faced me with severity. “What I did the night I met you – it was no accident. It was something I planned, to set off a very specific chain of events that I’ve been waiting a long time for. I’ll be gone for less than a week but when I come back, I don’t expect for us to see each other anymore. You’ll still be taken care of and I’m going to make sure that you’re always okay but I can’t afford to indulge myself anymore. This was hardly a fling and yet I can’t get my mind off of you. Whatever this attraction is, it has to stop. I can’t keep thinking of you as often as I do, or the way that I do.”
I lifted my eyes slowly to him. “How often do you think of me?”
“Too often.”
“And how do you think of me?”
“In ways that get me too hard to be productive.”
I let out a breath and pressed my knees together. “Can’t you just…”
“Jerk off? I do.”
A curious sound hummed from my lips. Abram lifted an eyebrow at me and despite trying not to, cracked a wry smile at my blatant expression. He knew what I was picturing. I couldn’t help it. I’d always imagined him to have some model on call for every spontaneous hard-on, but apparently, even Abram Lenox sometimes closed his eyes and got himself off.
I chewed the corner of my mouth, knowing that I shouldn’t do this. But I couldn’t stop myself. “What do you think of when you do it?” I asked.
Abram turned to me with surprise and then a bitter laugh, eyeing my body in my tunic and skirt. “You. In ways I’m not exactly proud of.” He gazed at me, his mouth curling as his eyes flicked away. “Don’t suck your lip like that.”
I stopped. I hadn’t realized I’d been doing it. But I was so incredibly turned on by the idea of Abram thinking of me when I wasn’t there, getting aroused and imagining exactly where and how he wanted my body. In his fantasies, he could do whatever he wanted to me. I rubbed my thighs against each other as I wondered what naughty images his thoughts conjured.
Groaning, he leaned his head back. “Don’t do this to me, Isla.”
“Do what?”
