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“Are you fucking kidding me?” I said. “The guy was being horrible to you. I don’t care how much I liked his movie. It was just a damn movie. If you’d introduced me to him, I would have had a hard time not punching the guy in his face.”
Theo shrugged one shoulder. “That’s just how he always is.”
“Well, it’s not acceptable,” I said. “Nobody should treat you that way. Why do you allow it?”
“I don’t allow it, exactly, it just… happens. At least it’s something different. Something other than the way everyone else treats me. Like I’m some famous myth, instead of a person. Everyone else sees famous people and looks up to us like gods. Garett’s never done that.”
“I don’t give a fuck how different it feels,” I said, anger rising in me now. “That’s no excuse to be treated like shit. And I know you know that.”
Theo pulled in a deep breath and let it out. His eyes were pointed straight forward, the bands of light from the street periodically flashing over his stony face.
“Good. Breathe,” I told him more calmly. I breathed deeply myself, trying to center my emotions.
“Is now a good time to do the five senses exercise?” Theo asked, and even though he sounded like he was half-joking, he did it anyway. “I see the roads of Los Angeles, ones that I wish I could leave behind. I hear the purr of my Lambo’s engine, which makes me feel alive. I feel the leather on my back and the wheel beneath my fingers. I taste the chocolate-covered strawberry I had before I left that party. And I smell… I smell you, which…”
“Damn. Do I smell bad? I know I’ve been standing around outside a lot,” I said.
He quickly glanced at me. “You never smell bad, Roman,” he said softly. “You smell like clean laundry. A warm pile of it that I want to jump into, snuggle up, and not leave for days.”
I turned to look out the passenger side window so Theo wouldn’t see the big, dumb smile that came over my face.
“I’m glad you’re doing the breathing techniques and the sense exercises,” I said.
“I hate to admit it, but they really do work,” he said.
“Self-care is important,” I said, “and you’re definitely somebody worth taking care of. Including by yourself.”
“I want to make a masturbation joke so badly, right now,” Theo said.
I snorted. “That’s another form of self-love, but sure, that’s important, too.”
The conversation lapsed for a while, and as the city lights passed by outside the windows, I knew both of our minds went back to chewing on the way Garett had been treating Theo before he left the party.
“You’re not a god, obviously,” I said finally. “You’re not just somebody famous, or some pretty statue. You’re a human being. But you deserve to surround yourself with people who care. Okay? People who realize how beautiful you are inside, not just out. People—”
“People more like you?” Theo said, something breaking in his voice. Apparently the emotions were still right there, and the dam had just broken. “Somebody I’m just paying to be close to me? Someone who feels obligated to do things like sleep in bed with my sorry ass when I can’t even get through a night without a nightmare?”
“Theo,” I said, my voice firm and low. “I would be around you whether you were paying me or not. You’re a piece of work, and you drive like you’re playing a video game, but I’ve loved every moment I’ve spent with you so far. I hope you realize that.”
My heart was silently beating a heavy rhythm in my chest. I tried my best to look calm and authoritative on the outside, but in reality, I could barely believe what I’d just admitted.
Theo needed to hear the truth, though. Even if it meant me going out on a limb. Expressing emotions that I normally felt safer holding inside.
He was silent for a moment. His face softened, like he hadn’t been expecting me to say it. The car pulled to a slow stop at a stop sign, and for once, Theo took the corner like a normal person, cruising out onto the next street carefully and within the speed limit.
“I’m just saying,” I told him, my voice a little softer now, “that I’m glad you’ve given me the opportunity to have my dream job for the first time in my life. But even if you hadn’t, I’d still be showing up to Red’s Tavern anytime I could, just to see if you were there again.”
“Christ,” Theo said, shaking his head as he quickly turned into a little alcove at the side of the road, slammed the gearshift into park, and popped on his hazard lights.
“What are you doing? Is this a bus stop—”
Theo cut me off by leaning over and pressing his lips to mine, quieting every little protest I had left inside me.
