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And there was nowhere I’d rather be.
21
Roman
I had done it.
I felt like I had just leapt out of a plane, hoping my parachute would work, and it actually had worked.
I was so shot with adrenaline and affection—and, yes, a good bit of tequila—that I could barely think at all. I didn’t need to, though. For once, I wasn’t just trying to stay in control and do everything the same way I’d always done it.
I felt free. Free to express how I really felt about Theo.
Free to do what I really wanted to do, which, in that moment, was to kiss him. I didn’t care where we were. I didn’t care who would see. I just knew that I had to have his lips on mine, right then and there, and that I’d never been happier to hear somebody say they wanted me, too.
As I kissed Theo, I heard sharply gasp over by the fire pit, and vaguely heard Brody say “I knew it!” before whooping and hollering. “Ayo!”
“Yes, I want to be your boyfriend,” I finally murmured against Theo’s lips as I broke for a breath. “And I want you to be mine. More than anything I’ve ever wanted.”
I couldn’t keep a smile off of my face as I guided his body back up, releasing him. I was spellbound. I was giddy. And it was very clear that Theo was, too.
“Well, hot damn, I should buy this more expensive tequila more often,” Mom said, cackling happily from over by the fire pit. “If it means people have this much fun at my dinner parties!”
Suddenly the rest of the world caught up with me, and I realized I had at least some amount of explaining to do.
“Mom, I’ve never, uh… come out and said it,” I told her, “but I am not exactly straight.”
“I can see that,” she said, lifting her eyebrows, the same huge grin still on her face.
“I’d always wondered,” Brody said, coming up and giving me a tight hug. “I love you, Rome. And—wait a minute. Does this mean we get to have more parties with Theo around? Because that sounds fucking awesome.”
I had never been happier to hear my baby brother tell me he loved me. Brody had been out and proud for years and years, and yet, for some reason, I’d never had the guts to tell him the truth about me. I’d always had girlfriends in the past, and Brody had always been the LGBT activist. Stupidly—so stupidly—I knew some part of me had felt like my feelings toward men weren’t as legitimate as Brody’s, because he was so openly gay, and I… wasn’t.
It all felt so fucking silly, now.
“I sure hope so,” I said.
“If he’s a good boyfriend, he’ll bring me to all of the parties that are this awesome,” Theo said.
Christ. Just hearing the word come from Theo’s lips—boyfriend—was enough to send another jolt through my heart. I still felt like I was in freefall, in the best way possible.
“Honestly, I’m not that surprised either, Turtle,” Mom told me before she came to give me a huge hug, too. “Nobody could hang out with Theo Castille for long and not fall for him. Straight, bi, gay, no matter what you are.”
A laugh bubbled up in me. “God, I didn’t expect to feel so much relief,” I said.
“It feels amazing, doesn’t it?” Logan said, giving me a hug. I had gotten more hugs in the last five minutes than in a long while.
“I know I’m ready for pie now,” Mom said, clapping her hands together. “Alrighty, let’s go. Form another line in the kitchen, grab your slices, and let’s sit by the fire to celebrate.
We filed inside, and as I walked in behind Theo, my brain could hardly accept that he was mine, now. That perfect ass in those fitted jeans. That head of soft, beautiful hair. This person who I’d come to care about so much, so quickly, as we’d gone through so much together.
And from that moment, it was hard to keep myself from touching him every moment that I could. As we formed a line to grab pieces of pie, I let the side of my body touch the side of his. When we all went back out to sit around the fire pit, I moved my lawn chair right up next to his, our arms touching as we devoured little pieces of the four delicious pies. As everybody talked around the fire, for the next hour, I couldn’t stop resting my hand on his thigh, or holding his hand, or reaching over to run my fingers through his hair.
And every time Theo looked at me, licked his lips, or God forbid bit his bottom lip, it was like a confetti streamer had been let loose inside my body.
The dam had burst. I was overflowing, now, with all of the desire I’d had for him but that I’d kept behind walls, knowing that our relationship had been far from official.
