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“We’ll meet Jack at the car,” I announced.
Tate glanced up from his phone and nodded. “Okay.”
“You okay to walk that far?”
“It’s a block.”
“But you almost fell just turning around, T.”
“Then I’ll hang on to you if I need help.”
A sudden sense of relief swept through me that he wasn’t screaming at me, that he wasn’t cursing me out. That he wasn’t telling me to find my own ride back. That he would lean on me if he needed.
“Let’s go,” I said. “I’m here if you need me.”
He stared at me a few more seconds, nodded slightly again and began to head toward the front of the property.
I noticed him wobble a bit, so I rushed to his side.
I almost stumbled myself when he hooked an arm around my neck.
I pressed my lips together to keep from grinning like a fool and we walked that way all the way back to Jack’s car.
CHAPTER 7
Tate (Then)
When we got to the car, I texted Jack a couple of times but never got a response back. Ronan and I waited for a while, but my roommate never ended up showing. I figured that meant he had drunk too much.
“Should we head back and look for him?”
Ronan shook his head. “We could split a taxi.”
It was probably smart. Maybe Jack curled up in a corner somewhere and was sleeping it off. He also had plenty of other friends at the party to give him a ride home if he needed it.
In the dark, we waited another half hour for the cab to arrive. I had no intentions of splitting the bill with Ronan, though. I would cover it since I invited him. I felt responsible to get him back to campus safely.
Or at least, that was what I told my muddled-brained self.
While we waited, we didn’t say much to each other. Mostly because my head was spinning from both the beer and with what happened in the tight space between the two houses. Our shoulders touched as we both leaned back against Jack’s car and it was surprisingly comforting, as well as supportive.
I wasn’t upset about the kiss but I was definitely confused. This whole thing with Ronan… I didn’t understand any of it, honestly.
And I wasn’t only thinking about the kiss.
I had only known him for a few weeks. We had class together. We went to parties together. We worked out and even studied together.
We had fallen into an easy friendship because we simply clicked.
When I wasn’t with Dahlia—who was busy with her classes, her job, hanging out with her girlfriends or participating in one of the many social clubs she was involved in—I wanted to spend each waking moment with Ronan. I’d never felt this way before with any of my friends. Not even with Todd, my best friend since kindergarten from back home in Virginia.
Even though I liked spending time with my girlfriend of over a year, I was beginning to prefer his company instead. It reminded me of an addiction since this strange pull toward him became stronger every day.
Every day that he plopped into the seat next to me in class.
Every day that he purposely tried to distract me from Dr. Louden’s lecture.
Every day that he did his best to get us both busted and kicked out of class.
It had turned into a game with Ronan.
A confusing one. One I didn’t quite understand.
I was experiencing feelings I’d never had before and I didn’t know what to do with that.
But I knew one thing…
I liked it.
Even if it was wrong. All of it.
It had to be wrong because I wasn’t gay. I wasn’t even bisexual. So, it couldn’t be a sexual attraction. Plus, I had a girlfriend I loved.
But that unexplainable pull was non-stop.
I couldn’t wait until our class together.
I couldn’t wait to meet up with him to study.
I couldn’t wait to grab a coffee with him after class.
Or for us to go on a run together. Or meet up in the gym.
We had fallen into this natural rhythm. What I first thought was only a friendship.
But now…
That kiss…
That kiss.
But now with that kiss, I was worried my obsession with Ronan might get worse.
My strong desire to be with him had already been so sticky, I couldn’t free myself.
Not from Ronan.
Not from my thoughts about him.
Not from my unexpected fantasies about him, either.
I hadn’t told him about them because I wasn’t sure I should even admit I was having them. Part of the reason was, I honestly didn’t know he was gay. He hadn’t shared that part of himself with me, even though I thought we were close.
The first dream I had about him, about me, about us together, surprised me.
Shocked me.
Outright scared me.
I had shot straight up in bed, drops of sweat beading on my forehead. I panted because I struggled to catch my breath. My heart raced out of both excitement and fear. My response very similar to a nightmare or a panic attack.
