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“I can keep my hands to myself if you can,” I added with a crooked smile.
He shot me a teasing grin. “I’m kind of big on consent, T.”
The reason he apologized a few times for the earlier kiss, even though I hadn’t told him to stop or pulled away. I had given my consent with my response. I would’ve pushed him away if I hadn’t wanted it, too.
Confusion once again swept through me because why had I wanted it? It didn’t make sense.
“And we don’t have to snuggle,” he added, now wearing his signature smile. The big one that lit up his face and always drew me in.
“What if I want to snuggle?” I asked in a teasing tone as I tipped my head toward the hallway again and headed in that direction.
“I’m a great snuggler.”
“Do you have references?” I whispered, trying to keep the noise down as we passed Thom’s room.
Even though his door was closed, I could hear a log being sawed behind it. When we first started sharing an apartment, his obnoxious snoring kept me up at night. Now that I was used to it, it was like white noise and I wondered how I’d sleep without it.
“I can give you a free sample if you want to judge for yourself.”
I huffed out a quiet laugh and shook my head as I opened my bedroom door. Sweeping out a hand, I invited him in.
I remained in the hallway as he entered my personal domain and I had a sudden flashback to the first night I invited Dahlia into both my room and my bed.
The sex that night had been explosive since it was our first time together and I didn’t let her out of my bed that whole weekend, except for small breaks.
A question niggled at the back of my mind. Would it be the same if Ronan and I had sex?
Hold on. Could I have sex with a man?
I did in my dream.
But could I actually go through with it in reality, while I was awake? When it was real?
I couldn’t say for sure and tonight was not the time to figure it out. Not when I was pickled and incapable of making good decisions.
I followed him into the room and shut the door behind us, watching as Roe didn’t hesitate to sit on the edge of my bed to pull off his shoes and socks. Once he was rid of those, he stood and, without even a glance at me, stripped down to his boxer briefs. He folded his clothes neatly, placing them in a pile on top of my dresser while I did my best to keep my eyes above his waistline. I really didn’t want to be caught staring at his bulge. I’d already seen it a few times in the locker room at the Power Center before or after our workouts.
But this time would be different. I’d be considering the possibilities. Also wondering if I was really attracted to another man. If that was even possible. For me, anyway.
I was worried now that I knew Ronan was gay, it would change the whole dynamic of our relationship.
Not because he was gay, that part didn’t bother me at all, but what that discovery would mean to me along with the thoughts I’d had about him that stirred up way too many questions.
“What side do you want?” Ronan wasn’t looking at me but at the bed instead.
It took me a few seconds to comprehend his question. But then my brain was still a bit sluggish. “The… uh… right side.” That was the side I always took when Dahlia spent the night.
Fuck!
“No, the left. Give me the left side.”
He twisted his head toward me, his brow furrowed again. “Okay. I’m going to hit the head and then I’ll take the right side.”
I had what was considered the primary bedroom in the apartment since my room was the only one with its own bathroom. I paid more rent than my two roommates because of it. Or my parents did, since they were generously covering my expenses while I worked on my bachelor’s degree.
Once the bathroom door shut behind him, I unstuck myself from where I stood near the door and hurried to strip myself of my shoes and clothes, quickly sliding under the sheets on the left side.
I grimaced when I realized I should’ve grabbed us bottles of water since we’d need them. Like Ronan, I also should’ve emptied my bladder since it had filled quickly after I last pissed in the bushes in Carson. But I didn’t want him to see that I had a half-chub from him getting undressed in front of me.
That had never happened before. Not once in the locker rooms. Not once after a run when we showered at the gym.
Not one time.
