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JOVIE: Guess who asked me to get coffee with him today?
ME: ???
JOVIE: Your best friend.
I drag my hand along my jaw, shaking my head. What the hell was he thinking? And why the hell would she tell him yes?
ME: How’d it go?
JOVIE: What makes you think I went?!
ME: Just assumed.
JOVIE: I have more important things to do than reminisce with an ex over some ancient relationship. For instance, I could do some laundry … Alphabetize my spice cabinet … Declutter my salad dressing collection … Outline my next book … Watch some mind-numbing PBS documentary on the Industrial Revolution. All of those things would take more priority over coffee with Jude.
ME: Burn …
JOVIE: You should have seen his face. He was almost too stunned to speak. I think he honestly expected me to jump at his invite.
JOVIE: Sorry. I know he’s your best friend and I’m totally making fun of him right now, but I’m far too amused by the whole thing. It was like five years’ worth of karma playing out in real time.
ME: You’ve never struck me as the type to take karma into your own hands.
JOVIE: Me neither.
ME: Where did you leave things?
JOVIE: I told him to take care and I walked away.
I’m in the midst of typing my reply when Jude calls.
“Yeah?” I answer.
“You’ll never believe who I ran into a little bit ago …”
Sinking back into my office chair, I swivel until I’m facing the window. “Who?”
“Jovie,” he says with more exhilaration in his tone than a husband-to-be should possess when speaking his ex’s name. “And she completely rebuffed me.”
“Rebuffed you?”
“I asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee and talk and she acted like she couldn’t be bothered with it.” His tone is laced with genuine hurt.
“Can you blame her?”
“I was trying to be the bigger person … I thought we could talk about everything and that maybe she could use some closure,” he says.
“Maybe you’re the one who needs closure,” I say. “From what I understand, she moved on just fine.”
“The whole thing with her tagging herself in the engagement photo … that was a cry for attention.” He ignores my statement. “I just wanted to let her know how sorry I am for the way things went down.”
“It’s been years, Jude. I think it’s a little late for heartfelt apologies.”
“Whatever.” He blows a breath into the phone. “Her loss.”
I bite my tongue.
“Anyway,” he says, “the real reason I was calling was to see if you wanted to get a round in this Saturday. Weather should be perfect for eighteen holes and I can get us an eleven o’clock tee time. Stassi’s dad and brother are coming. We just need a fourth.”
“Sure.” I’ll never turn down a round of free golf at Stassi’s father’s country club.
I end the call with Jude, unable to return to my text messages fast enough.
ME: Smart move.
JOVIE: I know.
ME: How’s Domino doing? Almost kind of miss the little guy … almost.
JOVIE: Really? I didn’t think you were a dog person.
ME: Neither did I.
JOVIE: I’m sure Ida would let you visit him.
ME: I don’t want to bother her. It’s not a big deal.
JOVIE: I’m glad he left a lasting impression on you. You’re not easy to impress.
ME: Says who?
JOVIE: Am I wrong?
ME: No.
JOVIE: Case dismissed.
JOVIE: Anyway, I just wanted to tell you about my run-in with Jude. I’ll let you get back to lawyer-ing.
ME: Speaking of, did you fire Ben Majors yet?
JOVIE: Not yet. I’m working up the nerve to send him a Dear John letter. Trying to find the right words as he’s been nothing but nice to me this whole process.
ME: Which is exactly the reason you should have fired him a long time ago. A good lawyer would’ve had this case settled months ago. A terrible lawyer will drag it out and rack up an exorbitant amount of billable hours in the process.
JOVIE: Where were you when I needed this advice last year?!
JOVIE: And how much do I owe you for it?
ME: My hourly rate is $400, but I’ll give you the friends and family rate.
JOVIE: Wait. Does this mean we’re friends???
ME: Define “friends.”
JOVIE: Merriam-Webster defines a friend as “a person who is not an enemy or foe.”
ME: Then I suppose that makes us friends.
She sends a gif next, some actress from The Office doing a happy dance.
JOVIE: That reminds me, you still haven’t answered any of my questions …
ME: Don’t hold your breath.
JOVIE: I wouldn’t dream of it.
JOVIE: But now that we’re friends … I have tickets Friday night to see this local band … they do covers of old pop songs but make them sound like … well, like indie rock. Anyway, Monica was supposed to go but she’s been sick all week. You want to come with?
I exhale and compose my thoughts for a few minutes, mentally weighing both sides of the argument. On one hand, it’s innocent. It’s simply two acquaintances going to a concert. On the other hand, Jude would be devastated. Hanging out with your best friend’s ex goes against the very tenets of our decades-long friendship. It’s an unspoken code no true friend would so much as think about violating.
