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ChapterThree
Sera
Six long weeks later I was packed and in Helena’s car on the way to the airport, handing back early-morning cheerios to my nephews in the back seat.
Six. Long. Weeks. During which I had spent many a night with Big Ben recounting that makeout session with Cash and anticipating receiving the full benefit of that cock I had ground myself onto on New Year’s Eve.
It was way too much time to second-guess myself. Way too much time to feel awkward. Way too much time to feel in desperate need of satisfaction.
I was meeting Cash at the airport instead of riding with him because Helena had offered to drive me and I couldn’t think of a reasonable excuse to say no without confessing my dirty plans.
I was tense and agitated and hadn’t slept at all the night before. Helena was doing her morning mantra out loud and including me in it. “And we’re inviting in only relaxing energy today for Mommy, Lincoln, Willie, and Auntie Sera. We’re going to have a calm, productive day filled with gratitude.”
Fighting the urge to grimace, I put my coffee cup to my lips so I didn’t say something cranky. I had zero relaxing energy. None. I had panic and guilt and anticipation and nerves strung from Nashville to Riviera Maya and back. None of which was Helena’s fault.
“Tell Auntie Sera to have fun and be safe,” Helena chirped as she pulled into the airport.
“Have fun, Auntie Sera!” Willie yelled in his adorable little voice. Lincoln made an attempt at something similar but it was mostly garbled around his cheerios.
I turned and smiled at them, feeling guilty as hell I was lying to Helena and had told her I’d taken the vacation money from John’s life insurance. “Thanks, buddy! Bye, I love you both. I’ll see you soon. Muah.” I blew kisses at them and they blew them back from their car seats. Maybe I should just tell Helena the truth. That I was flying south of the border in pursuit of no-strings-attached dick. But now I wasn’t even sure I was getting dick.
Even though I had done nothing but think nonstop about that kiss (or kisses actually) I had seen Cash three times since and he had been nothing but friendly and casual in front of my kids. Just like he’d always been. He’d stopped texting me New Year’s Day when I’d told him I couldn’t exchange dirty texts or see him prior to Mexico. Of course I had wanted to flirt via text, further the buildup of sexual tension, get more comfortable with the idea of having sex with him.
But once I’d said I could get caught Cash had backed off. Completely. It was respectful of him. He knew I didn’t want to get caught in a compromising situation in front of my kids. So I was grateful he was in control of himself but I was also highly annoyed by it.
Because now I had the horrible fear our traveling together might be doomed to casual friendliness with none of the naughtiness of New Year’s Eve. That feeling didn’t go away when I saw him waiting for me at the ticket counter after waving goodbye to my family.
Cash wasn’t hard to spot. He was a head taller than everyone else and had shoulders that rivaled an ox. His short blonde hair was sticking up, like he had rolled out of bed and made his way straight to the airport.
“Hi,” I said, taking a sip of my coffee because I wasn’t sure what else to say or do. Did we hug? Did we kiss? I had no idea how this whole friends-with-benefits thing worked. I should have at least attempted to sneak in a few texts with him or one dinner or something. Because now I felt awkward as hell.
“Hey,” Cash said. “I feel like we’re going on different vacations.” He gestured to his clothing as compared to mine.
“You’re obviously going on spring break,” I said, a little dismayed. He was wearing shorts, sandals, and a T-shirt. I preferred his usual country cowboy style to this frat boy look. “You look like you’re going to let out a battle cry, chug a beer, then crush the empty can on your head.”
“I just might, you never know.” He ran his eyes over me. “You look like you’re running late to take the kids to school and wore your slippers in the carpool lane.”
“That about sums up my life in one really sad sentence.” I dug in my purse for my lip balm, feeling like I’d made the world’s most ludicrous mistake. This didn’t feel like a wild, sensual adventure. “Cash, I look like your mom! This is so embarrassing.”
He started laughing. “You do not. I’m almost thirty years old. You act like we have a twenty-year age gap. Why are you so bundled up, anyway? We’re going to Mexico, not the ice skating rink.”
I was wearing leggings with slides that did in fact resemble slippers if I were honest about it, an enormous sweatshirt, and my long winter puffer coat. “It’s cold outside, in case you hadn’t noticed. I have a sundress in my carry-on bag to change into once we land.”
He looked like he had thoughts on the subject, but wisely chose to keep silent about them. I probably should have dressed a little sexier. It might make me feel less nervous. Feel more like vacation Sera instead of carpool Sera.
“Are people going to recognize you?” I asked, as Cash started pushing buttons on a kiosk to check us in. “Are we going to get busted together?”
“No, of course not. I’m not a quarterback or a star running back. I’m just a grunt worker on the line.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Hell, no. I like to be left alone. Plus I get to play ball and make a lot of money. No arguments from me.”
“That does sound like a winning arrangement. I wouldn’t like to be famous.” Toni had said Miles got approached when they were out around Nashville. Fans wanted their picture made with him and sometimes Toni and Miles had candid shots posted of them they weren’t even aware had been taken. I would one-hundred-percent hate everything about that so I was reassured Cash didn’t experience the same level of attention.
“Me either.” He finished checking us in. He took the handle of my suitcase and reached out for my carry-on. “Here, let me hold that for you.”
“Oh! Okay.” I let him and then didn’t know what to do with my hands. The concept of not being the family pack mule was so foreign to me, I felt completely empty-handed not bogged down by bags for myself and my kids. I swung my arms experimentally. I felt light and free with nothing but a coffee in my hand. Maybe this would be fun after all.
We approached the ticket agent to check our bags and I let Cash do all the talking. One, because it was nice to not have to be in charge. Two, I hate mornings. Three, I had never flown before. My sole knowledge of airports was from TV and movies.
“What’s your final destination?” the woman asked as she held her hand out.
I had no clue what she wanted. Cash handed her his passport. “Cancun.”
“Sounds romantic. Second honeymoon?” she asked.
“Yes,” Cash said, giving me a smug look that the clerk thought we were a couple.
“I’m looking forward to getting a break from the kids,” I said.
“I need your passport, sugar.”
“Oh, right.” As if I knew that. I handed it to her. It was a miracle I had even gotten it in time to go. I’d had to go directly to the passport office and apply for an expedited passport because I hadn’t had one and was too tipsy and lust-crazed on New Year’s Eve to remember that little fact.
“I hear you on the kids. How old are yours?”
“Fourteen, twelve, and five.”
