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Chapter 20
Amelia
I took a deep breath before replying. Miguel grabbed a chair and scooted it next to Niko’s, taking my legs and draping them, blanket and all, across his lap. He wiggled a hand beneath the blanket and rested it on my ankle. I could feel through our bond that he needed that skin-to-skin contact. Touch was his love language, and deep down, I think it was one of mine as well. His touch shot spikes of desire to pool in my already throbbing pussy.
“Focus, pet,” Niko warned
“Reality set in when I woke up. These last few days have been amazing, but we can’t stay cooped up in my house for the rest of our lives.” I paused. Saying the words out loud was like a splash of ice water on my sexual need.
“As much as we both would love to do that, you are right. So, what happened then? What did that little voice in your mind convince you of?” Miguel’s intuition was spot on as he asked the very question I didn’t want to answer. I fidgeted, trying to move, to put space between us, but neither of them released me.
“Remember, pet, we only want honesty even if you think what you have to say will hurt us. Without honesty, we can’t work through things.” Niko’s words were wise, as if he had been through this situation before. I didn’t want to dwell on how, or who with, as that little green monster began to rear up, and my tigress decided she needed to rip apart any other females who had touched him.
Niko gently placed a crooked finger under my chin and turned my face up to his. His eyes met mine, love, devotion, and desire burning within them. “It’s only us, Amelia, forever. It’s only us.” He brushed his lips against mine before releasing my chin. My tigress calmed, and I tried to continue.
“That little voice, as you call it, reminded me of how damaged I am. How unworthy I am to have two mates. It reminded me that we may be accepted within these walls, but what happens when we take ourselves to the world beyond these walls. And will everyone within the pride truly accept us?” Niko and Miguel wisely remained quiet while I rambled on. “Then my brain tripped over another small fact that had never bothered me until today. What if I can’t have cubs? What if my body is so damaged that I can’t get pregnant or can’t carry to term? You both deserve a mate who isn’t broken, who can provide all the things mate’s desire. I figured it was easier to cut ties now rather than continue growing our bond and relationship and having to destroy ourselves down the road when one or more of us realizes this isn’t working and they want out.” I worried the blanket between my hands as I waited for a response, my desire completely extinguished.
“Is that all?” Niko asked, his voice calm and collected.
“Yeah.” It felt good to get it all out, but I was tense, waiting for the ball to drop, for one of them to agree with me. Even though I was the one to push them away, their rejection would be a far worse pain, and I knew it would be my final breaking point.
“Okay, we will take each concern one at a time.” He stood and moved into the living room, placing me on the couch and sitting on the coffee table across from me. Miguel joined us, but he chose to sit next to me. They each took one of my hands before continuing, “First, you are not broken. You are a strong, independent, caring, loving woman. A survivor. A warrior. You endured things that would break most men. That changed you, but it didn’t break you. Miguel and I are here to help you however you need. I know you have been going to therapy, which we both think is a crucial part of your growth. This bond happening now may not be perfect timing to you, but I believe that we were brought together at just the right time. What you have to face, and defeat will take more than just you. Now, you have the two of us to pull on, to turn to, to cry with. Whatever you need, we will give you.” Miguel nodded in agreement.
“And, Amelia, it’s us who are truly unworthy of you,” Miguel said as his other hand laced together with Niko’s. “But fate has decided that we are meant to be together, which means we are worthy of each other no matter what anyone else says, including our inner voices. Our pasts don’t define who we are or what we deserve. Each day, we define ourselves by how we approach things, how we react, and how we treat others. So, let’s make sure that each day we become worthier than the day before.”
I didn’t think I had any more tears left in my body, but Miguel’s words made me misty-eyed again.
“As to your worry over being accepted. All that matters is each other, but if it helps, our Alpha and Beta both are over the moon that we have found each other. They don’t care that we are a threesome and not a twosome. It’s extremely special when you find your mate. Our pride is luckier than most as we already have three mated pairings. You might be surprised at what you’ll find outside of these walls. Most people are more worried about themselves to judge others, and those who do are ignorant and jealous, so they tear others down to make themselves feel better. It may take a bit for other shifters to adjust, but I don’t care what they think. Miguel and I have no issue knocking someone off their soapbox if it comes to that. We will do anything necessary to protect you and ensure your happiness.” Niko squeezed my hand. “It won’t always be easy, but nothing worth wanting ever is.”
Miguel moved closer, releasing Niko and wrapping his arms around me as he pulled me onto his lap. “As for cubs, we will tackle that when it comes. I am in no rush to start a family. We need time to get to know each other. If it really concerns you, we can make an appointment with Jax and have a few tests run.” He nuzzled my neck. “I want you either way, forever and always.”
“We can all get checked out if that would ease your mind.” Niko moved to join us on the couch. “Miguel’s right, though; we need to learn how our dynamic works before even considering having a family. The first step is moving you and Miguel into my home.”
I jerked back. “I happen to like my home here.” Moving out had never even crossed my mind. “Isn’t it a bit early to talk about moving in together anyway?”
“Not for me,” Niko replied honestly.
“Or me,” Miguel added. “I already asked Jonah to send a couple guys to my house and pack the rest of my things. They’ll be ready to move by the end of day tomorrow.”
“But we’ve only been together a week!”
“Yes, but our bond is proof that we are meant to be together. It just makes sense that we live together as well.” Niko tilted his head, and a look of confusion crossed his face. I could feel it through the bond. He didn’t understand why I wasn’t jumping up and packing.
A knock at the door interrupted us. I looked down, realizing I still had nothing on from the waist down. Miguel had moved the blanket when he pulled me into his lap, so my bare ass sat on his lap, his body swelling at the contact. I was so engrossed in the conversation that it hadn’t registered. The knock sounded again.
“Grab her clothes and take her to the bedroom. I’ll see who it is. If it’s safe, I’ll call you through the bond.” Niko’s protective face settled in as he stood. Miguel quickly ran to get my clothes as I held the blanket around me and hustled to my bedroom. His take-charge demeanor was sexy as hell.
I threw the blanket on the end of the bed as Miguel handed me my clothing. I quickly donned my underwear and shimmied back into my jeans.
“It’s okay to come out. Kat stopped by to visit with us,” Niko’s voice resonated in my head.
My heart began to race at the thought of facing her with both my mates in the room. I knew Niko said they accepted us, but words didn’t exterminate feelings that were deeply set in our psyche.
“Come on, she’s our friend as well as the Alpha’s mate. You don’t have to worry about her judging you. You know Kat. You know how loving and protective she is.” Miguel placed his hand on my lower back for support and to help ground me.
“She brought one Marisol with her. Hurry, it’s a rare moment when she’s not in her fur,” Niko chuckled.
That phrase propelled my feet forward. I still worried about what Kat would say or do, but my love for that little bundle of energy outweighed everything else.
