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CHAPTER 10
Naomi
I lay in the darkness, my back to Gavril, and tried not to breathe too deeply lest he notice that I was awake. I had been aware from the moment that he had walked into the bedroom, too afraid to even acknowledge his presence in fear of what he might say. I hadn’t seen him since his outburst earlier, choosing to stay in my room so that I wouldn’t cause any other turmoil between us.
We were already on thin ice, if not already trapped in cold depths that we’d never surface from.
Though I had no more tears to shed, I still hurt. It was a soul-rending hurt, like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and thrown it away with me watching. That was what Gavril had done to me today.
It also solidified my feelings for him: I had fallen head over heels in love with a man who had barely given me anything. Had I been that naive to fall for a grin, a sexy body, an expert touch? I had thought I was smarter than that, but clearly I had fallen for it fairly easily.
Again.
I was such an idiot.
Yet Gavril did nothing, only sitting in the chair that I had fallen apart in and watching me as I slept. I didn’t understand what his motive was or what he was planning to do when he made his decision. But I was terrified of what it could be. Was he contemplating putting me out of his direct line of sight? Would I be shipped off somewhere else, where he could keep me contained and away from his business life until I gave birth to his child?
Then what? He wouldn’t be able to let me go. I knew too much about the lie he was trying to pull off, nor would he have a reason to keep me around after he got his heir. This marriage had never been meant to get past the first child.
It was a culmination of his plans, those stupid plans that had put me in this mansion and away from my own life.
A tear squeezed out of my tightly closed eyelid, but I made no move to wipe it away, letting it trail down my skin and onto the pillow underneath my head. I was so broken, and it hurt.
There had only been one other time in my life that I had felt this miserable, and it had nearly broken me then. It had taken me years to get over that hurt.
This time, I wouldn’t have therapy or my best friend to get me through. I was truly on my own, and I didn’t know what I was going to do.
“I know you aren’t asleep.”
Gavril’s deep voice came out of nowhere and I nearly jumped out of my skin, calming my racing heart as I turned in his general direction.
“How did you know?” I asked.
It was too dark to see his facial expression. “I know everything about you, Naomi.”
My lips parted at the sound of my name on his lips, wondering what his angle was. Was he trying to butter me up before he killed me?
Or was the truth already out, and he was going to get rid of me? After the horrible argument we had earlier, I really didn’t know what was going through his mind. Gavril didn’t want me as part of his life. He didn’t trust me.
If I wasn’t pregnant, I felt like he would be dropping me into the Pacific with a block of concrete attached to my ankles so that nobody would ever find me.
His dark shadow rose from the chair and approached the bed as I slid into a sitting position. The flare of light caught me off guard as Gavril flicked on the bedside lamp and took a seat on the bed next to me, forcing me to make room for him. For a moment he sat there, allowing me time to trace the muscles in his back with my eyes. How could someone so devastatingly beautiful be the man he was?
How could I feel fear and love for him? How could I want him to touch me, to ignite the flame deep within and not want to push him away?
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“What?” I blurted out. That was the absolute last thing I would have expected him to say to me.
Gavril turned to meet my wide gaze. “I’m sorry, Naomi. What I said, how I said it. I had no right to treat you like that.”
He was apologizing for his actions? I didn’t think that extended to the women he had given to those brutal men. But I didn’t ask, not wanting to anger him again.
Instead, I pushed myself into a seated position and placed my hand on his back, feeling him shudder at my touch. “It’s okay.”
His hand reached out and cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb over my skin. “Can I even be forgiven?”
He had scared me in far worse ways, and if Gavril knew the thoughts that had been racing through my mind just a few minutes ago, he would realize that I was still terrified of him and what he might do.
Instead of telling him, though, I leaned into his touch, my heart breaking. At the end of the day, I was trapped with Gavril until I had this child. We were like some weird storm that only grew stronger with each screw up, and maybe that wasn’t all that horrible.
I wasn’t going to forgive or forget that easily, but for tonight, I could pretend at least. “Why don’t you come to bed?” I asked softly, dropping my hand from his back. “It’s late.”
His jaw flexed as he removed his hand from my cheek and Gavril stood, pulling off the joggers he was wearing. I sucked in a breath as the rest of his gorgeous body came into view under the low light, including his swollen member that jutted out proudly from his body.
Gavril wanted me.
My lower half reacted with a flood of wetness, and I swallowed hard as he walked over to the other side of the bed and pulled the sheets back, climbing into them. Sleep was going to come hard tonight after the sight I had just witnessed.
I slid down onto my pillow and faced Gavril, who was watching me intently.
“What is it?” I asked after a moment, wanting to know what he was thinking.
“You don’t believe me,” he answered. “You don’t believe that I am sorry.”
I let out a breath. “Gavril, it’s just—I can’t.”
“I know, and it doesn’t matter,” he cut in. “I scared you, Naomi. And there is no easy way to come back from that.”
I didn’t want to talk about it any longer. It was in the past, and while the hurt was there, he couldn’t take back the words that he had said or the authority he had demonstrated to me.
This was the life I was going to be forced to live, and I might as well get used to the fact that Gavril was going to have his secrets. He wasn’t going to let me in, nor would I ever be an equal to him.
So, I reached out to cup his cheek this time, letting the stubble bite into the tender areas of my palm. “I know.”
He let out a shuddering breath and closed the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine. I let his body and scent envelop me, and kept my emotions at bay for now. Tears weren’t going to get me anywhere. Nor would tears help the situation.
We could pretend that everything was fine. That was what we were good at.
