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I walked in to find her plating strips of steak and salad on a plate for me, and Esme handed me a drink before I could say anything.
“I love coming here,” I said, sipping the drink. Mmm, sangria.
“Yeah, it felt like we hadn’t seen you in forever. I know how it is when you get involved with someone and it’s hard to have enough energy to give everyone else,” Paige said, looking ruefully at Esme.
“Are you saying I’m a distraction?” Esme asked, pretending to be offended.
“Maybe just a little,” Paige said, walking over to give Esme a kiss.
“It’s okay,” Paige said. “You’re worth it.”
Seeing them together made that ugly feeling come back. I could be flirting with Natalie if she was here.
No. I needed to step back and reevaluate things. I was doing the right thing. I was being a rational adult. It was about time.
“You okay?” Esme asked, when I hadn’t said anything for a little while.
“Yeah, fine. Just work.” I added an eyeroll to make things convincing.
“Let’s eat on the porch,” Paige said, so we took everything out to her screened-in porch so we could see the beauty of the ocean without dealing with the relentless bugs.
I told Paige and Esme about the woman who had asked about putting my shell art in her shop in Boston.
“Wow, that’s the big time. Do you think you might want to do this full time?” Paige said. “I am so there if you need any guidance. I’ve written so many articles.” I laughed. Paige had an article for everything. Hell, she had used her own article to try and come up with ways to break the ice with Esme.
“It just seems so unreliable. And scary,” I said. I was barely making things work now. What if I couldn’t pay my bills? Sure, my parents would step in a little, but they would only do so much, and then I would owe them and they’d never let me forget it. I was going to be dealing with them reminding me how much they’d given me for college long after my loans were paid off, which was probably going to be never at this rate.
“It is scary. You could always do half and half. Go down to part time,” Paige said.
I had thought about that. My family would probably be up for it. Sure, it would mean they’d have to hire someone to cover the phones and shit, but there were lots of people in Castleton looking for a job. Working in an office wasn’t that bad, compared to some things you could be doing.
“I’ll think about it. I need to build up my inventory first. Make sure I have supply for the demand.” Thinking about having orders that I couldn’t fill made me break out in hives.
Too much pressure. Too much stress. I already had enough on my plate.
“Let us know if you need any help,” Esme said.
“Thanks, I will.”
The talk turned to Esme’s bar stories. Apparently last week one of Wyatt’s friends had done a blistering rendition of an Adele song in a falsetto that was so impressive, people threw money at him.
“It was really good. He should sing more. And I told him to come to karaoke night.”
Esme made sure to schedule her shifts around karaoke night so she didn’t have to listen to it. Who knew that the citizens of Castleton were nuts for karaoke? The place was packed every time, and the tips were good, but not good enough to tempt Esme. I didn’t blame her.
It was nice to be with my friends. To remember how things had been before Natalie had come back.
Still, I kept feeling like there was someone missing beside me. I kept wanting to turn to her, to see if she was laughing at Esme’s stories. To ask her if she wanted another drink. To see if she was tired and wanted to leave.
It was silly. I’d seen her yesterday. I’d spent yesterday night with her. And now there was a Natalie-shaped hole in my life.
“You’re awful quiet over there,” Paige said, sipping her sangria and looking at me over the rim of the glass. I could feel Esme’s eyes on me too.
“Okay, fine. Wyatt said some shit about me moving too fast with Esme and it got to my head. I told her we needed to slow down. I took her home and we haven’t really talked since,” I said.
Paige shared a look with Esme.
“Did you really want to take a break, or was Wyatt just trying to fuck with you?” Esme asked.
