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I wasn’t so sure about that. I’d opened myself up to love and look where that had gotten me. Exactly one broken heart.
“What do you do when you’re not working or running?” I asked.
“Not much,” she said.
“You should hang out with us. With me and my friends,” I said. “Only if you want to.”
I hoped that didn’t sound too awkward.
“Maybe,” she said. “You sure you’d want me?”
“Of course I want you,” I said, and then wished I could delete the words I’d just said. “I mean, I want you to hang out with my friends.”
Alivia smirked at me.
“I think you were right the first time, Pinky.”
I felt the blush go from the tops of my ears to the tips of my toes.
“Shut up,” I said.
“Wow, excellent comeback.”
“Stop it,” I said, hitting her on the arm, but she just laughed.
“Yeah, well, you want me to, so I guess we’re even,” I said impulsively.
“You think so?” she said, looking at me sideways.
“I know so,” I said, feeling suddenly bold.
“Confident. I like that,” she said, sipping her beer. I couldn’t stop watching her mouth.
“We had fun that night, right?” I asked.
Fun was a bit of an understatement. I mean, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her and that had happened almost a year ago, and I hadn’t hooked up with anyone since. Just hadn’t been interested.
“Mmm, I think it was a bit more than that,” she said, leaning a little bit closer to me. The music and the sounds of people talking faded into the distance until everything around Alivia went blurry, while she was in complete focus.
“What do you want?” I asked.
Once again, I hadn’t meant to say those words.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Other than the fact that I can’t forget that night with you.”
“Same,” I breathed. She leaned even closer and my heart rate picked up. Oh my god, she was going to kiss me.
“We can’t,” I said. “I mean, we shouldn’t.”
“Why not?” she said, only moving back a few centimeters.
“Because no one here knows that I knew you before. I feel like I lied to everyone. And you’re planning my cousin’s wedding and it’s complicated.” I was complicated.
I couldn’t believe I was saying words that were stopping her from kissing me. Why would I do that?
“I don’t want you to have to lie to your friends and your cousin,” she said. “Would it be so terrible to tell them?”
“I mean… I don’t know. Can we just get through the wedding and then deal with everything after?” I asked. I did not want to get into my regular breakdowns. She didn’t want to hear about that. Breakdowns weren’t sexy.
