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Once I had myself back under control, I shut my computer.
“So,” I said, walking over to her. “Where were we?” A tiny voice of guilt whispered in my ear, but I ignored it as Esme pushed me toward the couch again and we started right where we left off.
* * *
“I really like you, Paige,”Esme said later, as we lay in bed with Potato and Stormy. She’d been right to worry about the bed being big enough for all of us. I’d had to sacrifice more pillows to give the dog enough space to stretch out.
Esme’s legs were entwined with mine and my nose was mere millimeters from hers.
“I really like you, Esme. A lot. In case that wasn’t clear.” My heart felt like it was going to crack my ribs.
“No, it’s pretty clear. I just wanted to make sure that you knew I’m really happy with you. And if you wanted to talk about what this means, I’m open to that. If you’re not, then I’m happy to keep hanging out with you like this.”
She was so good. So damn good.
“I’m ready to have that conversation,” I blurted out. Other people might have said this was fast, but when it came to relationships, it was pretty much my only speed.
“Perfect,” she said, snuggling even closer. “Are you thinking you want to make things official?”
“Definitely,” I said. “I’d love to be official with you, Esme.”
She kissed me. “That’s what I want too.”
Kissing led to other things, and the animals were extremely upset when we kicked them out again, but we let them come back after we took a quick shower.
“You can store stuff here, if you need to,” I said. “I can clear you a spot in my dresser.”
Esme raised one eyebrow. “I’m getting a drawer already?”
“Of course, you’re worth it.”
She kissed my nose. “You’re so sweet. Why hadn’t I ever seen it before?”
It was strange, that we’d grown up in this town always seeing each other, but never having our paths cross until now.
“You were worth the wait,” I said.
“You too.”
If only it hadn’t been revenge on my shitty ex that had made me see her for who she was. If only I’d come to that realization on my own. She’d been right there the whole time.
As I lay there between Esme and a warm dog with barely enough space to stretch out my body, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. If I was a bad person. If I deserved her. If I should tell her the truth.
I played out all the scenarios in my head, again, as I had dozens of times. That was the part I hadn’t planned initially. What would happen after I got my revenge. Who I would hurt in the process.
It was a struggle not to feel like a complete monster for even considering it.
I’d been so distracted by my rage toward Wyatt that I’d let it cloud my judgment. Fucking Wyatt. Ruined everything again. Why couldn’t he just get hit by a bus or move to another planet?
Esme made a little humming noise in her sleep and moved closer to me. I held her close and tried to fall asleep.
* * *
The next morningwas a mess of a dog, a cat, some burned bacon, and pancake batter everywhere.
“I’m sorry,” I said, as Esme threw the burned bacon in the trash as I opened the windows and waved a dish towel to disperse the smoke from the oven.
“It’s not your fault. I did kind of distract you.” That was fair. It was hard to focus on cooking bacon when your girlfriend was finger-fucking you up against the fridge.
