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ChapterNine
Ashley knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. She needed Carla to know what had happened. How it had happened. And she desperately wanted Carla to do the same. To tell her that there was nothing going on with her ex. That they hadn’t been on a date. That they hadn’t been thinking about getting back together.
“I wanted to trust you,” Ashley finished, barely able to hear her own voice over her thumping heart.
“Do you?” Carla asked, her voice calm and level, her expression neutral, not giving anything away.
Ashley swallowed the lump in her throat. If she trusted Carla, she shouldn’t be this worried. “I don’t know.” She had to be honest with her. “I want to. I really do.”
“Then trust me when I tell you that yes, Shawna and I dated, but there’s nothing there now. We ended things on bad terms. She cheated on me. But she was in town, and she wanted to clear the air. So, that’s what that was. I didn’t even want to see her, but I’m kind of glad that I did. She apologized, and we’re both moving on. So, that’s all behind me now.”
Ashley searched Carla’s eyes. “Really?”
“Yes.” Carla broke their eye contact, looking down at her hands that rested in her lap instead. “But it did get me thinking…”
Ashley’s stomach churned, the fear creeping back in as Carla spoke.
“This shouldn’t have happened,” Carla said with a sigh.
Ashley closed her eyes, willing the tears to stay there and not spill over. She’d been honest, and Carla was going to be honest with her now too. Seeing her ex must have reminded her of the kind of woman she should be dating. What her life would be like if she wasn’t sneaking around with one of her students.
“I hate how jealous I was,” Carla said, her eyes lifting to meet Ashley’s. “And I instantly regretted how I’ve handled this. All of it. That I could be in that position. That you might not know what I was thinking.”
Ashley bit the inside of her cheek, trying to follow what Carla was saying, because a second ago, she thought that Carla was breaking up with her. Now, she wasn’t sure.
“And I hate that you were worried about me,” Carla continued. “That you thought I might go behind your back and see my ex. Maybe, get back together with her or something. I should have told you that I was meeting her. That she was an ex rather than an old friend. And I want to apologize for that. I should have just told you.”
Ashley’s heart rate accelerated again, still not sure which way this conversation was going.
“Anyway,” Carla said, taking a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is that… These last few months have been some of the best of my life.”
Ashley wanted to take those words and hold on to them, except she had this sinking feeling that there was a ‘but’ coming. That this was Carla trying to let her down easy.
And then Ashley saw the tears in Carla’s eyes, and a wave of nausea washed over Ashley.
This was definitely a breakup speech.
Carla reached for Ashley’s hand, covering it with her own. “I want you to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am absolutely crazy about you. That I hate that we have to sneak around. That I was so scared of losing you tonight, knowing that if I’d done things differently, if I’d told you how I felt, clearly, explicitly, that it might not have happened.”
Ashley’s eyes searched Carla’s, unable to believe the words coming out of her mouth. Carla was crazy about her? What?
“So,” Carla said with a hint of smile forming on her lips. “I want you to know that I want this. When you graduate, I’d like to make this official. I won’t hide you from my friends, my co-workers. No one. I’ll tell anyone who will listen that you’re my girlfriend.” Carla visibly swallowed. “If that’s something you could see yourself wanting… If you still—”
Ashley smiled into the kiss, her free hand cupping Carla’s cheek as she brought their lips together, unable to let her finish.
Carla Lawless wanted her.
Ashley parted her lips, sighing into the kiss when Carla’s tongue languidly slid across her own.
Ashley’s hand left Carla’s cheek, her fingers threading through Carla’s hair instead as she lost herself in a kiss she’d convinced herself would never happen again.
Ashley moaned as they deepened the kiss. She could taste the wine on Carla’s lips, those words still running through her head. This gorgeous woman was crazy about her. It was just unbelievable, and when she felt Carla’s fingers reaching for the hem of Ashley’s shirt, she realized that she never told Carla that she felt the same.
Ashley pulled back, letting Carla lift her top over her head and fall to the floor.
“Is this okay?” Carla asked softly, her cheeks flushed.
“Yeah.” Ashley reached up to tuck a lock of Carla’s hair behind her ear. “You are so beautiful.” She’d said it with more emotion than she’d intended to, but then it hit her that she didn’t have to hide that emotion anymore. She didn’t need to try and keep her feelings in check. Not that she’d been that successful anyway.
Carla turned into Ashley’s hand, her lips brushing over Ashley’s wrist, sending a shiver through her.
“And, just in case it isn’t obvious,” Ashley said, “I want this too. I’ve been trying so hard not to. But I want this. I want you.”
Carla smiled as she slipped her hand behind Ashley’s neck, her eyes fluttering closed, bringing their lips back together in a breathtaking kiss. Carla’s hands were everywhere. Roaming across her shoulders and up along her ribs, her nails lightly dragging across her back as they kissed.
Time fell away, the initial urgency giving way to a more intimate moment, their kisses slowing, deepening, their tongues dancing.
They broke apart just enough to give Carla room to lift her blouse over her head, and then Carla’s hot lips were back on hers as Ashley let her hands explore Carla’s soft skin, gliding up her back, pausing to unclasp her bra, guiding the straps down her arms.
Without breaking the kiss, Carla removed the bra, letting it fall over the edge of the couch, and Ashley palmed her breast, eliciting a low mean from Carla as Ashley’s thumb swiped over her nipple, awakening it with just a few strokes.
“I missed this,” Carla murmured between kisses, her lips finding that spot that Ashley loved just below her earlobe, her tongue flicking over her skin. “What if we did see each other during the week?”
Ashley’s fingers in Carla’s silky hair stilled. “What?”
Carla kissed her neck, moving lower, down to her collarbone as she popped open Ashley’s bra and slid the fabric away.
“What if we didn’t limit ourselves to the weekends?” Carla asked, her voice slightly muffled as she trailed her kisses lower until she took one of Ashley’s nipples into her mouth.
“Ohh,” Ashley moaned, swaying into Carla, unable to think as she held onto Carla’s hip, her entire body aching for more.
Carla shifted her attention to Ashley’s other nipple, swirling her tongue around it before taking it into her mouth, her tongue flicking and teasing, and Ashley thought she would explode with want.
Carla pushed herself off the couch, getting on her knees in front of Ashley who moved to face her as Carla’s fingers opened the button on Ashley’s jeans, lowering the zipper before she shimmied the fabric down her legs.
Ashley gladly lifted her hips as Carla took the jeans and socks with her, leaving her black underwear on as Carla got comfortable between her legs, Carla’s hands warm against her thighs as she eased them apart.
