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Tuesday nods approvingly. “Ipsey Miller was pretty hot for a ten-year-old.”
“So, I’m not stressing this disgusting biker who’s only banging you for the inside track on our club.”
“Right, as if I know anything about the club,” Tuesday grumbles, rolling her eyes. “Years ago, when I asked Pa how much money the club made in a year, he made me go to my room. Then, he slowly shut the door on me. I didn’t get what the frick he was doing until I saw ‘The Godfather.’ So, yeah, no, I’m not aware of even the tiniest dick about the club’s goings-on.”
Frowning, I ask, “Wait, what happened in ‘The Godfather’?”
“Pay attention.”
“Your stuff is boring. Let’s do mine instead.”
Edith stops dicking around with her phone and says, “I thought Poppy already decided to embrace her future raccoon grandchildren.”
“Alexis is under a lot of pressure, especially now with her ma being alive. I want her pampered. She’s totally probably nervous about all the changes.”
“You can’t read your woman yet, huh?” Edith points out unhelpfully.
“She’s not a whiner like some people.”
“You, right?” Tuesday taunts. “We’re talking about you being a whiner.”
“Why won’t you help me? I thought you were cool.”
“I still don’t know what you want.”
“Take Alexis to that spa in Rockwell and get her all dolled up. Make her feel special. Help her remember how no matter what happens with her ma, she’s got a good life here.”
Tuesday and Edith look at each other and then shrug.
My sister smiles. “That’s sweet, West. How come you’re so nice to her, but you treat me like a dried-up cat turd?”
“I give what I get.”
“Fair enough, ginger lover.”
“That’s not the insult you think it is.”
“In your head, no. But in mine, you’re such a loser,” she says, and we share a smile. “Give me money for the spa, and I’ll make your dream girl feel like a princess.”
I start counting out twenties on the counter, waiting for Tuesday to tell me how much is too much. I’ve passed three hundred when I run out of cash.
“What the fricking fuck?”
“Living like a princess ain’t cheap, brother.”
“This is all fascinating,” Edith says, studying me like I’m a science project she hasn’t poked and prodded enough yet. “Why are you so gaga-rama-lala-ding-dong over this one girl?”
I think of Alexis and smile. “She’s just better. Her beauty shines brighter. Her personality burns hotter. When she’s sad, my heart demands I fix her pain. I feel like a god when I make her smile. No other woman possesses such power over me. Alexis is my dream girl.”
Edith smiles. “That’s what I’m waiting for. I’d rather die alone than settle for less.”
“Brag all you want,” Tuesday says and shrugs. “But my dream man apparently died in a train accident when I was ten. I have no choice but to settle for much less.”
“Cubby is a loser,” I grumble when the women glare at each other.
Tuesday’s bright eyes focus on me. “Do you even know him?”
“No, but I know you and your taste in men is fricking awful.”
“I work with what I have available. As soon as an amazing man shows up, I’ll nail that shit down. Until then, I don’t like being alone. My muff gets depressed.”
Edith’s emotionless face cracks me up. The cousins are weird besties. Tuesday is all fire and wind, blowing her hot bullshit everywhere. Edith is earth and water. She’s difficult to break or unsettle. But if the pressure builds up enough, she transforms into a tsunami of drama. Fortunately, I’m whatever element is super-fast. Whenever I see crazy brewing in either woman, I sprint for safety.
I prefer a certain kind of drama. Anything more sends me running while anything less bores me. Alexis hits just the right amount.
