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CHARIS
“Mama!” Meadow’s little feet start pedaling to get to me, her hands frenzied in the air. “Mama.” I’ve missed my little one and my parents’ aim had been to give me time to myself to sort out the mess my life has become. I’d accepted it two years ago, though I fought letting Jimmy go for the first year. I understood my marriage was over, but after last week, when I was scared for both Meadow and my safety, the time was needed to sort all this shit out.
Through it all, I never saw myself dating two men, who in turn are dating one another. But I don’t have time to stew on this mess that is the steamy and delicious mess I like, and not the ex-husband I’m currently scared of.
“Hey, baby.” I lean down to pick her up. Her hands meet my cheeks.
“Mama, me miss ooo.”
Her blue eyes shimmer like her daddy’s do, but the ringlets and the little dimple in her chin are all me.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?” I’ve ended the phone call with the boys, and with a gaze at the clock near me, it’s past eleven. “Didn’t I put you in bed hours ago?”
“Hours Vréfos. So many hours, it’s daytime.”
I pull her onto my bed, her words causing me to laugh. “It’s not morning, baby.”
“K, so I sleeps with you till morning time?”
And because Meadow is my life, and her father is a shithead, I slide back the comforter on my bed. “Settle in, baby.”
I’ve seldom let Meadow sleep with me. I thought it was a precedent I’d discourage. But for now, fuck all precedents because my girl has been through enough, and if she needs the love of me tonight in the form of extra snuggles, then it’s what she’ll get.
* * *
I’m pouringmy coffee as my mom meanders in the kitchen well before 6:00 a.m. “Did Meadow end up in bed with you last night?”
Yeah, my mom is of the old-school. She doesn’t agree with me, or my methods at times. “Yeah.” I leave it simple at first. “I may have a date tonight. Are you okay with Meadow duty?”
“A date?” My mom’s brows knit together, and she doesn’t have to ask anything for me to know she has many questions on the tip of her tongue.
“Yeah, and possibly on Friday. I mean, I can reschedule that one but—”
She holds up her hands. “Come here, baby.” She pulls me by the hand to the kitchen table. I manage to grab my coffee because by the look in her eyes, I’ll need it.
“Your dad and I are here for the foreseeable future. We had no idea things with Jimmy had gotten so bad. We loved that boy. He grew up as your best friend. If arranged marriages were still a thing, he was who we would have chosen. The verbal abuse, the drinking and drugs, the way you felt you had to handle this all on your own after we thought he’d always care for you, we bear so much guilt.”
I grab her hand in mine because it’s the last thing I want to chat about, but my mother hushes me before I can reassure her that none of this is her fault.
“Let me finish, baby, please.”
I give her a little nod.
“It’s okay to be happy. I don’t know what that looks like for you. I married the only man I’ve ever loved. Hell, the only man I ever slept with if truth be told.”
“Vréfos, seriously,” I breathe out. No one wants to know about their parents’ sex life. Honestly, I’d be happy to know I was immaculately conceived.
“Okay, noted, sweetheart. But what I’m saying—go out and have fun. Find love again. I want that so desperately for you, and I don’t care what it looks like, as long as the man or woman—you know I’m progressive after all. I want it for you.”
I take in a deep breath. I’ve shared everything with this woman except sex with Jimmy.
“There’s two men I like equally.”
“Oh, decisions—this’ll be fun.”
I peer down the hall, in the hopes that I don’t hear my papa or daughter.
“Dear, your father is out cold to the world.”
