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“What do you mean, medical stuff?”
“I was having…symptoms. And before you ask what kind, it’s the kind your sister doesn’t want to know about. Anyway, I saw my primary doctor, and now they’ve referred me to a urologist. They might have used the C-word as a possibility.”
“The C-word. As in…cancer?”
“It’s highly unlikely, Luna.”
“Cancer.” I shake my head and pace the living room. My heart is pounding, and I suddenly feel as if I might throw up. “Hell, no. No way. You’re thirty-five, Apollo.”
“I’ve not been given a diagnosis,” he insists. “It’s just something to rule out. I have to get an ultrasound and talk with the specialist.”
“Apollo, Dad had testicular cancer.”
“I know,” he says softly. “But he’s fine now. He did great.”
“Obviously, we remember this differently,” I reply and prop my hands on my hips. “I remember Dad being so damn sick from chemo and radiation.”
“But he’s fine now,” he stresses. “Even if that’s what’s going on here, which I think is unlikely, it’s very early, and there’s every reason to believe that I’ll be fine.”
“Why?” I shake my head and feel the tears coming. He doesn’t want me to freak out? Of course, I’m going to freak the hell out. “This isn’t fair. Why does shit like this happen to good people? To the best people. You wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“I might hurt a fly.”
“You’re kind and sweet, and you’re mine. If something happens to you, I’ll be so mad at you, Apollo Winchester.”
“Nothing’s happening,” he assures me and crosses over to pull me into his arms, hugging me close.
“What if they have to take out your…you know, your balls? And the future woman you love only wants a man who can give her children.”
I feel him smile against my head.
“Now you’re taking this a bit too far, Luna.”
“It could happen,” I insist and feel fear take up residence in my throat, almost choking me. “What if you can’t have babies?”
“Maybe I don’t want kids.”
I jerk back and stare up at him in horror. “You don’t want to make me an aunt? What did I ever do to you?”
He laughs and tugs on my hair. “I’m not scared, Luna. No one has given me a reason to worry or be afraid, but I didn’t want to start going to specialists and stuff without giving you the heads-up.”
“Yeah, that’s a good call because you wouldn’t have to worry about being able to have children if I found out you were keeping something like this from me. I’d just kill you.”
“Have you always been so violent, or is that something new that’s come to light as you got old?”
“Hey, who are you calling old? You’re way older than me.”
“Three years is not way older.”
“It is when you’re on this side of the three years,” I reply with a grin, trying not to show him how fucking terrified I am.
I remember what Dad went through all too well, and I don’t want that for my brother.
I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
“Do me a favor, okay?”
I frown at him. “Sure. What’s that?”
“Let’s keep this between us for now. I know you’ll want to talk to Wolfe and the other two amigos, but until I’ve seen the doctor later this week and I know what I’m dealing with, let’s just keep it between us.”
“Yeah, of course.”
He wants me to keep this a secret? How am I supposed to properly freak the hell out if I can’t confide in June and Sarah? In Wolfe.
Am I just supposed to stew over this news for a whole week? By myself?
“You look…too calm,” he decides.
“I’m perfectly calm.”
I tap my right foot, and Apollo notices and smiles. “That’s your tell when you’re lying. You know that, right?”
“Okay, I’m freaking out. But that doesn’t help you.” I blink furiously as the tears want to spill over. “You’re my brother, and I actually like you. I know that’s rare, okay? Sure, June likes her sibs. Cullen and Lauren are awesome. But more often than not people can’t stand their family, and I love you so much, and what if you die?”
“I think I liked it better when you were pretending to be calm.”
I can’t help but laugh as I brush the tears aside.
“I’m not going to die. Well, I will someday, but not from this. Not anytime soon. You’re stuck with me for a very long time.”
“Good, because no one else annoys me the way you do.”
He just laughs and plops down in my chair, dragging his hand down his face.
“Have you called Mom and Dad?” I ask him.
“Nah.” He shakes his head at my stony stare. “There’s no need to worry them when there’s nothing to worry about right now. If it turns out to be something, of course, I’ll call them. If it’s nothing, like I know it will be, there’s no need to sound a false alarm.”
