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“Disagree all you want. It’s the truth.”
“You think he’s attractive.”
“Yes. He is attractive, but that doesn’t mean anything. Michelle’s boyfriend is attractive and I’m not interested in him.”
“That’s good because one, Michelle’s boyfriend is Michelle’s, and two, he’s twenty-five years too young for you. If you’re going to date, you want to date someone like . . . Jack. Someone mature, someone successful, someone who won’t expect you to spend all your free time doing laundry and housework.”
Paige knew Elizabeth was referencing Ted, her ex-husband, but she wouldn’t acknowledge it. “I’m glad you’ve remarried. I’m glad you’re happy, Elizabeth, but not everyone has to be married to be happy.”
“I just worry about when you’re older. I worry you’ll be cut off from the world—”
“I’m still not fifty—”
“You have three weeks until then, yes.”
“Please stop terrorizing me with visions of a sad, lonely, desperate future. My future isn’t going to look like that. My future includes a really cute house somewhere on the coast, close to Mom, but not necessarily in her back pocket.”
“So, that’s your goal? To live alone in your house where you’ll grow sunflowers, make sun tea, and have a vegetable garden?”
“You’ve forgotten the swing on the front porch,” Paige said dryly.
“Can you possibly picture our Jack on that swing?”
“No. And he’s not ours. Now please be my BFF and stop pushing me into the dating pool. I’ve been there. I didn’t like it.”
* * *
The first week of school went off without a hitch. Paige couldn’t quite believe what a smooth first week it was. The normal problems didn’t seem to materialize, and rather than dreading the course she was team teaching with Jack, Paige found herself looking forward to it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Jack was fun to watch in action. He had so much energy and warmth in his voice. The students smiled and laughed throughout much of his lecture. He wasn’t slapstick funny but witty and insightful. Paige had always considered herself a good instructor, but Jack elevated teaching, taking it to another level. He could be very serious, too, and somber, making grave points in such a way that it seemed to have a profound impact on the class.
After class, he always had a gaggle of students waiting to speak to him, to discuss a point he’d made or ask further questions.
It was rare that they walked out the classroom door together, and today was no exception. He was surrounded again, and Paige flashed him a smile as she gathered her things and headed for the door. He caught her eye, gave her a faint, wry smile, and continued speaking to the students.
That private smile made her feel warm. Slightly breathless, slightly tingly. The breathless, tingly feeling was uncomfortable, as well as annoying. There was no reason to feel anything, and the last thing she wanted was to be aware of Jack as a man. It didn’t help that Jack looked more like a man in his forties than his fifties. His hair was thick and sun-streaked. His frame was strong and muscular. Even his forearms had corded muscles. And even when talking, he had a challenging glint in his eye.
Outside, she skirted the quad, sticking to the shadows where it was cooler. She’d brought lunch today in a bright blue insulated bag she’d tucked into her lavender tote, and she looked for a bench somewhere in the shade where she could eat before returning to the math building for office hours.
She’d just sat down when she got a FaceTime call from Ashley, her youngest, who now called New York home, where she waitressed in between going to auditions. Ashley had grown up acting and dancing and singing, and it was her dream to be a star on Broadway. Paige knew it was a long shot, but she had vowed to never discourage her. There was no need to, either, when her ex, Ted, did that constantly, picking at the girls, tearing them down. It infuriated her the way he interacted with them. He hated that he had no relationship with them anymore, but it was his fault. If he couldn’t be kind, if he couldn’t encourage them, why would they want to stay in touch with him?
“Hi, honey,” Paige said, answering the call and waiting for Ashley’s beautiful face to appear on her screen. All her girls were beautiful, but Ashley had been told more than once that she looked just like a Disney princess. “How are you?”
But Ashley wasn’t smiling. Tears shone in her dark blue eyes. “I didn’t get the part,” she said brokenly. “Three callbacks and then it went to someone else.”
It had been a long year for Ashley without a lot of positive outcomes. “I’m sorry.”
Ashley swiped away a tear. “I get so close but then . . . nothing.”
“Three callbacks—that’s so impressive. Think about all the girls who didn’t even make it to one.”
Ashley shook her head, fresh tears welling. “I really thought I had a chance this time.”
“You did. And you’re getting closer every time. Don’t get discouraged.”
“Mom, I want to be an actress, not a waitress.”
“You could do temp work instead of waitressing.”
“I make a lot more money waitressing.”
“Then give yourself a day to feel bad, and start tomorrow focused and strong because you know you’ve chosen a hard road, but I believe in you. And I believe you can do whatever you set your mind to.”
“And what if I never succeed?” Ashley demanded.
“Then you’ve had the adventure of a lifetime.”
“Mom.”
“What?”
“I don’t want the adventure of a lifetime. I want a career on Broadway. I want to do this forever.”
“Then don’t give up.”
Paige sat motionless for a long moment after Ashley had hung up. There were times she felt like a failure as a mom, and maybe it was unreasonable to think she would always know the right thing to say, but she tried. She wanted to be supportive. She wanted her daughters to feel empowered. She wanted them to believe they could do anything if they didn’t give up.
Tenacity was essential in life.
As was hard work.
“You look deep in thought,” Jack said, standing next to her bench.
She blinked and looked up. “I was.”
“I shouldn’t interrupt, then.”
“No, please do. I’m ready to think of something else. Please distract me.”
