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“But?” Hunter gives me a questioning look.
“But,” I drawl, “it’s complicated.” It’s a flat-out lie because I can’t even point out what’s complicated about it. Kayla has been stirring feelings inside of me I didn’t know I was capable of, and it feels good. Better than anything has ever felt. But there is still something inside of me that’s holding me back from taking that last step. To claim her as my own for everyone to see.
”Isn’t it always?” Jensen huffs. “It’s clear you like her.”
“I do. We have fun.”
“Dude, she just bought you a first edition book. I don’t know shit about books, but I do know you can’t buy something like that for twenty bucks at Barnes & Noble.” Jason pauses. “Are you sure it’s just fun? Does she feel the same?”
Yes.
No.
A month ago, I would’ve said yes. Kayla agreed to the same thing as me. Friends. Sex. That’s it. Nothing more. But I can’t deny that after this gift, I’m not so sure anymore.
After this party.
But that’s not what has my mind all wrapped up right now. It’s the fact that I don’t know if I still want to be just friends. It’s the fact that everything inside of me tells me it’s not enough.
It will never be enough.
I let out a grunt, bringing my gaze up to the ceiling. “I don’t know.” My head shakes. “She’s young.”
“So?” Hunter asks. His tone is telling me I’m full of shit.
“I’m her boss.”
“You own the company,” Jensen deadpans.
“Look, we agreed on friends with benefits. I told her from the start that I don’t date.”
“Okay, so when she finds some guy who does want to date her, you’re just going to let her walk?” I snap my head at Jason, the thought slicing through my heart.
My mind is shouting hell no.
“No. Yeah. I don’t know,” I stammer.
“You better think about it, buddy.” Hunter slams his palm on my knee. “Girls like that are not going to wait for us to figure it out.”
“Yours did,” I counter.
“Nah, she didn’t. I was too late. But fate happened to be on my side and gave me a second chance.”
“And by fate, he means she wasn’t married with a baby yet, and I forced him to fucking grow up.” Jason gives me a smug grin and Hunter playfully swats his chest.
“Don’t wait too long to figure it out, Bodi. You’ll have to make a choice eventually.” I twist my head to my best friend before he adds, “Or one day, you’ll wake up, and she makes the choice for you.”
My eyes move back to Kayla. Her brown hair sways around her shoulders, her beaming smile making a thousand bugs crawl through my stomach while the thought of her dating someone else rips my heart apart.
“Yeah,” I concede. “I know.”
