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A heavy burst resides in my chest. What is that feeling? Jealousy? I guess it’s only right that I feel somewhat of an ounce—however small. He is my husband, after all.
Again, I have this nagging in my head that something’s not quite right. I don’t feel connected to this body… this… person I’m in. Everything seems… off.
“Are you ready to watch Eli’s new movie, Kendra?”
I snap my head towards an elderly gentleman with white hair and a very brown tan. Whether it’s fake or not is hard to tell. Then again, he looks rich enough to make his fake tan look real.
“I’m ready as ever!” I answer, earnestly. “I’ve been dying to watch it ever since I heard about it.”
Eli pulls his head back to study me, a perplexed gaze upon his face. He doesn’t say anything, but sometimes you don’t have to speak words to get your point across. It’s like I’m speaking a foreign language.
As we move towards the movie theatre the excitement in the air is intensifying. In my heart, I feel it. That sense of pride and honor. Pride for my husband, and honor that I am able to be here for momentous occasion. I guess for Eli, this is just another movie done and dusted, time to move on to the next. But for me, this is like a dream come true. I don’t know why it is as he’s my husband, but again, I feel it in my gut.
In the expanse of the huge hall, we are ushered towards our reserved seats, mine marked with a white sticker with the name “Kendra Banks” written in black Sharpie, a name that seems alien to me.
I take my seat, shuffling a little to get comfortable, a hint of cedar hitting my nostrils as Eli takes his seat next to me. Butterflies start in the pit of my stomach, fluttering like faint raindrops graciously falling from darkening skies. My eyes seek him out, his side profile showing me the contours of his strong chiseled jawline. A perfect line of his hair wraps around his face, ending with the straightest edge of a short sideburn that I have ever seen. My eyes explore him like they can’t get enough.
He’s simply breathtaking.
As if sensing my unashamed stalking, Eli turns his head, capturing the moment his wife is simply adoring him. At first he explores my eyes—as if trying to ascertain my motives. There are none. Well, none that could be considered harmful. I just want to kiss his face off. I have no idea why I thought of that expression, but it seems a perfect fit to the way my heart desires it like the air I breathe.
A flare of silence hangs in the air, the noises and voices muted in our little moment. I wonder if he’ll ask me why I’m looking at him like that, but he doesn’t. To make me fall that little more in love with him, Eli simply smiles. A smile that would light up a whole city with its dazzling illumination and in turn, make the citizens gasp. My own mouth parts, a small inaudible breath leaving my lips.
Yes. Definitely breathtaking.
Lights flicker in the hall, robbing us of our moment. A well-rounded man in a tux walks onto a stage, announcing the anticipated arrival of Eli’s new movie. The man motions in Eli’s direction, making Eli blush under the stares.
Is he shy?
The man in the tux waves his hand in front of the screen, telling us to enjoy before walking off. Claps echo all around us before the lights dim and then silence hangs for a couple of seconds before the screen comes to life, showing the stunning surroundings of a field in full crop.
My eyes are completely glued to the screen, my heart in my mouth as I watch the love story unfold of this city boy trying desperately to get through to this stubborn farmgirl who doesn’t want to love again after losing her high school sweetheart.
At the end, when she realizes she could lose the best thing to come into her life since her loss, she caves, allowing him to kiss her, the moment of surrender captured when she molds herself into his body, the sense of relief from pushing him away paramount in that moment. A world of emotions run through me as I watch them kissing. My skin heats, my mouth parts, my belly dances with jealousy, but above all that, my eyes begin to water from the love pouring into their story. I sniffle, wiping a tear away from my face, and that’s when I sense it. Eli’s watching me. I turn my head, his eyes widening when he gets the confirmation he needs that his wife is crying. Bewilderment, shock and surprise dance in that pretty face of his. He’s about to speak, but when he does, the movie ends, sending people to their feet in a standing ovation. I immediately join them, my hands joining together in a frenzy of applause. My chest heaves with pride, my eyes watering with joy, and my smile wide with happiness for my wonderful and brilliant… husband.
Eli is aware of the ruckus around him, but still chooses to lock his eyes on me as he stands. I nod my head, a little nudge to get him to acknowledge and take in his moment.
“Bravo! Bravo!” people shout as they carry on their applause. I get so wrapped up in the moment that my hands think for themselves, grabbing Eli at the sides of his head and landing my lips on his cheek, almost knocking him off his feet with the force. Laughter erupts around us, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment for a fraction of a second before I realize… I really don’t care.
A flurry of “Congratulations” and “This will be a box office hit” is amongst the shaking of hands that Eli has to endure as we make our way out of the theatre.
Eventually, we find our way outside, my proud arm linking through his as the crowd cheers and cameras fly into a frenzy.
I don’t know how my feet are able to carry me to the car that’s awaiting us, I’m so high on Eli right now. When the car door slams shut the relief of quiet surrounds us making me exhale a relaxing breath. I close my eyes, savoring this whole moment. I live this every day, so how is it that it seems the most special and precious significance in my life?
“Are you feeling okay?”
The concerned edge to Eli’s tone has my eyes fluttering open. I smile, leaning over to grab his hand. “I’ve never been more okay in my life.”
Eli chuckles slightly, the light in the corner of his eye shining like the twinkling of a diamond as one last camera takes a shot before we drive off.
“You’re acting completely out of character.”
“I am?” I ask, wanting to delve deeper into my questioning, but feeling kind of scared by what I might find.
Eli laughs even louder this time. “Yes, you most certainly are.”
I shrug my shoulders, looking out into the night sky and the passing streetlights. “Maybe I just woke up this morning and thought how lucky I am.”
