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He’s mid-bite when he glances up, confused. He waits until he’s finished chewing a little. “Wow, you really must have hit your head hard if you can’t remember Eleanor.” I sigh a little, causing him to hold out one hand in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine how frustrating this is for you.” He sighs himself, putting the burrito down for a moment. “Eleanor has been with us since your birth. Apparently, our mother couldn’t handle dealing with you even for a second.” He rolls his eyes at this statement. I know Eleanor touched on that somewhat, but I was afraid to ask more as she would have gotten suspicious. Feeling free to ask my brother what I like is a breath of fresh air.
“How come she’s here still?”
He puckers his lips at that question. “I guess it may have something to do with the fact that I was always a free spirit, but Eleanor’s been tying your shoes ever since you were able to walk. You requested that she stay on as house cook and Eli agreed. I think he understood that you still needed her—whether you actually admitted that or not.”
“That sounds so sad,” I reply, wondering what else Eli has thoughtfully done for me without me even realizing. But then another thought occurs to me. “If Eleanor practically raised me, then how did I end up…”
“Such a bitch?” he responds, smirking.
A small laugh exits my nose. “Sounds harsh, but from what I have heard, I deserve that. So, yes, how did I end up such a bitch?”
No longer able to wait any longer, he picks up his unfinished burrito. “I guess it has something to with Mom’s influence still rubbing off on you. Eleanor would look after you, yes, but from the moment you could walk, talk, and not be of too much of a nuisance, Mom would take you shopping, to dance classes, modeling classes… you name it. She would be extremely rude to people and got away with it because we were rich. You were spoiled because everyone knew that if they didn’t fawn over you, they would be in big trouble.”
He takes three quick bites in succession, moaning as he does. All the while, I sit there staring into thin air, wondering how on earth I allowed myself to be that person. Sadness clouds over me, my thoughts now turning towards Eli. The man who means the world to me.
“Was I like this with Eli?”
The question troubles me as I would hate to think that a man like Eli would allow any woman to walk all over him. Then again, he allows it of his father, so maybe…
“No, not at first,” he responds between chewing. “But I had a feeling… no offense… that you were deliberately being nice just so you could reel him in.”
I hiss, my body posture taken aback. Jack, noting my reaction, starts to splutter a little. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I raise my hand up in front of him. “No, it’s okay. I need to hear this. I need to hear all of this. I just… I don’t know. In my heart of hearts, I know I’m not that person. I mean, have I never loved anyone in my lifetime? Well, other than myself, it would seem.”
Jack thinks on this a moment, and the fact that he has to makes my heart sink.
“To be honest, I’m pretty sure you love Eleanor in your own unique way—you just won’t show it. Eleanor realizes that too, and that’s the only reason why she’s still here. I think you did get caught up in the whirlwind with Eli, but once the honeymoon period settled, things started to change dramatically.”
My thoughts on Eli, I wonder how this must have affected him. No wonder he thinks I have some kind of ulterior motive.
“That can’t have been nice for Eli. I assume he loved me?” I ask, a little hope in my voice.
Grabbing a napkin, he wipes his mouth. “Sure. I doubt he would have married you otherwise. I do get the sense he got caught up just as much as you did. He was seduced by the lifestyle and the beautiful model paying him so much attention. I guess anyone would be.”
“That makes me sad,” I admit, finally deciding to eat. I place a burrito on my plate.
“It’s life, hon. Lots of people in Hollywood get rushed into things they probably wished they hadn’t. As I said, it’s very easy to get caught up in the moment.”
I shrug one shoulder. “I guess.”
I bite into the burrito and the explosion of herbs and spices tantalizes my senses. “Oh, my God, that’s so good.”
Jack beams back. “I told you. Eleanor is an amazing cook.” I take another two bites as I can’t help but want more. Jack shakes his head. “I can’t believe I’m watching you eat. I think the last time was when you were like… twelve.”
I wait to swallow before answering. “How have I survived this long? I mean… seriously… who doesn’t eat anything?”
Jack gazes sadly at me, halting my teasing moment. “Maybe you do eat secretly, but…”
Realizing what he’s suggesting, I put my hand up. “I have never once done that.” Then I frown. “Or have I? I just don’t know.” I bury my head in my hands wondering if I will ever remember anything anymore.
A hand slides around my arm, making me look up. “It’ll get better. You will have to remember everything again at some point. Nobody gets permanent amnesia unless they’ve had some major head trauma.”
I let out a relieved sigh. “You’re right. I guess I will just have to let it all come when it comes. In the meantime, I must create this day for Eli and I.”
After eating the rest of my burrito, I lick my fingers, then find my phone, which I believe I stuck somewhere on a counter in the living room on silent and just conveniently forgot about. When I find it by a lamp on a small table, I pick it up and notice all the thousands of missed calls and messages I haven’t bothered to respond to. A quick perusal alerts me to Michelle, who apparently is my assistant. She has been particularly persistent. I will have to deal with them all at some point. For now, I need to concentrate on Eli.
Back in the kitchen, Jack is eating his fourth burrito. I sit down and open my list of contacts. It’s then it hits me… again. “What’s Eli’s assistant named?”
