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Chapter 8
BECK, THREE WEEKS LATER
I can't believe she left me.
I know, I know, she always said she would. She always said it was a vacation thing--a fling, even. She always said she'd be going back to Philly.
I just didn't think she could really do it. Not with the way I felt about her. Not with the way we felt about each other.
I thought I could convince her to move here. I thought we would stick.
"Long distance relationship," she'd said desperately, when I had taken her to the airport in Charlotte last week. "Do you think we can? I want to."
"I don't want you to go," I'd said, my heart breaking. "Stay."
"I can't," she'd said, and swallowed tears. "I live there. My mother lives there. My sister lives there. My editor lives there. My agent is in New York City. I can't just--move."
I'd looked her right in the eye. "I live here."
"What do you even want?" she'd demanded, crying. "I offer you long distance and you say no."
"Not enough," I'd said, on the verge of losing it myself. "I need all of you. It's okay if we're not together every minute--but I need to know that it's a possibility. That it's our goal."
She'd sobbed for two minutes, while I stood there like a fucking idiot, a fucking heartbroken idiot, and handed her tissues. "I want to be able to promise you that," she'd finally said when she got control of her emotions. "I want to. But I have to be sure. You know why."
I fucking hate her dad.
"Please, Beck, can we just try?"
My philosophy about doing things with my life has always been modeled on Yoda's words: do, or do not. There is no try.
I let go of that for the moment and straighten my shoulders. "Okay, honey."
And then she went and got on that fucking plane anyway.
Sure, she's called me every day since she left. We spend hours texting, and calling when I'm not working. We even had phone sex once, which was exciting and disappointing at the same time.
I'd thought she might really move here. She stayed at my little house a few nights, so her vacation wasn't all luxury resort cabin amenities, and she said she loved it.
And okay, we role-played rich lady and horny pool boy. (How could we not?)
We spent time together. We played mini golf and watched movies. We cooked together. We spent a rainy Saturday holed up in the cabin, reading, and it didn't matter that she was reading Julia Quinn while I was reading Marvel comics.
I loved every minute.
She met my parents and my brothers and their families, and they all adored her. My buddy Moss and his wife Sadie thinks she's great. She met Maddie, who works as a librarian at the high school in nearby Dogwood Falls, and they got on like a house on fire, talking a mile a minute and making plans to do a book club together.
I'd thought she loved me enough to change her life for me. I mean, my life here has been so great that I can't imagine changing it for--
Wait.
Wait a minute.
I never considered moving to be with her.
I never considered putting her life first, since my entire life around Love Lake has been awesome.
Hell. It would mean a lot of upheaval: selling my business, leaving my family, getting a different job, adjusting to a big city.
