Page 103 of How Much I Want


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“I guess not.”

“You’re a wonderful big brother, Nico.”

“Not always, but I’m going to be from now on. I’ve taken my sisters and brother for granted, that they’re always going to be there. Now I know that’s not necessarily true.”

“You’re lucky to have them. I used to yearn for siblings.”

“I’m happy to share mine with you—and all my cousins.”

“How many cousins do you have?”

“Like thirty-two, I think. Nona has sixteen, and my mother’s side has sixteen, plus ten more honorary cousins from Abuela’s side.”

My eyes bug at that number. “Are you close to them all?”

“Not all of them, but I certainly know them all. There are tons of family weddings, graduation parties, reunions. It’s always something in one family or the other, although we’re closer to my dad’s side since most of them live here.”

“I can’t imagine being part of a family like yours.”

“You are part of a family like mine. My family is your family. No matter what happens between us, once Nona and Abuela adopt you, there’s no getting out.”

I smile, but only half-heartedly. “You wouldn’t mind if your family keeps me around even if you don’t?”

“I have every intention of keeping you around for as long as I possibly can. In fact, forever would be perfect.”

“You really mean that?”

“I really do. I’m in this for keeps, Sofia. With you and with Mateo. I don’t want you to ever think otherwise.”

“That makes me feel very lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one. Don’t worry about anything, okay? Everything is going to be great from here on out. I know it.”

I hope that’s a promise he can keep.

Two hours after I posted on social media, the posts have been shared more than a thousand times, and I have a message from a young woman named Janelle. I think the Jon you are looking for is my uncle. I’m Jessica’s daughter. Why are you looking for him?

“What should I say?” I ask Nico. “Should I tell her the truth?”

“Why not? You’re going to have to say why at some point. Why not now?”

“What if she doesn’t tell him? Maybe I should just say I need to discuss a private matter with him and would appreciate his contact info if she’s willing to give it.”

“I suppose that might be better than putting the choice in her hands to tell him what you want to ask him.”

“Okay.”

Thank you so much for replying to my post. I have a personal matter I’d like to discuss with Jon and would appreciate his contact info if you’re willing to share it.I include my phone number and email address, while realizing she could be my first cousin. After hearing about Nico’s cousins, I wonder how many I have. I press Send on the message, hoping she passes it on to him.

“What if she doesn’t tell him?”

“We can find Jessica through her and go from there. It won’t be hard to find him now that we have a family member to work with.”

“You sound like you’ve done this before.”

“Not like this, but my friend does this sort of stuff all the time and has shared some stories over the years. He could find your dad in half an hour with what we know so far.”

Twenty minutes later, I’m gathering laundry to take to Nico’s when my phone chimes with a text. I grab the phone off the counter.

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