Page 110 of How Much I Want


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“Where are you staying?” Marisol asks as she kisses the top of Mateo’s head and releases him.

“They’re staying with me until it’s safe for them to go home,” Nico says.

“My son is locked up for God knows how long.”

“It’s not just him, Marisol,” I say. “You know how the rest of them are. They think I caused all this when all I did was decide I no longer wanted to be married to your son, which was my right. If you care at all about me or your grandson, you should spread the word for them to leave us alone.”

“They won’t listen to me.”

“You could at least try, unless you want their next bullet to hit someone you care about.” Over Mateo’s head, I point to him and give her a pleading look. “Please. Tell them to leave us alone.”

“I’ll do what I can. Will you let me see him?”

“Of course I will. You’re his abuela. You can see him anytime you want to if you respect me and my choices.”

“I told him…” Tears run down her pretty face, which is marred by dark circles under her brown eyes. “I told him for years to treat you better, but he never listened to me. I hope you know…” Her gaze darts between me and Nico and then back to me. “The boy I raised never would’ve done something like this.”

“No one blames you, Marisol.”

She pushes her fist into her chest. “I blame me. He’s my son. His father was never in his life. He had no one to teach him how to be a good husband and father. I tried…”

I step toward her and give her a hug. “I know you did. He made his own choices, and now he must pay for them.”

“Lo siento mucho, cariño.”

“Gracias. Te llamaré pronto.” Her apology means a lot to me. I promise to call her soon.

She hugs and kisses Mateo and tells him to be a good boy. “Te amo.”

“Te amo, Abuela.”

Nico puts his arm around me as we walk to his truck.

“Mama, why is Abuela sad?”

“She misses us.” I help him up and into the truck, buckling him into his booster seat. “Did you have a good day?”

He nods. “Can we swim today?”

“Absolutely,” Nico says, smiling at us from the front seat.

Mateo’s smile lights up my world. All I want is for him to be happy and safe, and I’m extremely thankful to Nico for giving us both those things.

NICO

I love playing in the pool with Mateo. He’s so happy to be swimming that he doesn’t care that I make him do exercises, like holding on to the side and kicking his legs or doing jumping jacks in the water. He’s up for whatever I suggest and seems to soak up my attention like an eager little sponge.

He’s the cutest little guy, and I love every minute I spend with him.

When I go underwater and come up with him on my shoulders, he screams with laughter.

He grips my hair and holds on for dear life.

“Don’t make me bald!”

That has him laughing again. Suddenly, I drop us both underwater, and we come up sputtering. I realize he’s laughing even as he coughs.

“Again!”

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