Page 48 of How Much I Want


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MARIA

Iwake from a deep sleep to a kiss from my beloved.

“Are you alive in there?” Austin asks, smiling down at me as the scent of freshly brewed coffee fills my senses and turns my stomach.

If I’m looking for proof that I’m sick, sleeping like a dead woman and recoiling from coffee is all the evidence I need. “Barely,” I say in reply to his question. “I think I have the flu or something. All I want is sleep. Thank God I’m off this week.”

“I thought we might go do something fun, like hit the beach.”

“I don’t think I can, but you and Everly should go.”

“She won’t want to go without her Rie.”

“Rie is a drag.”

“No, she isn’t. Don’t talk that way about my beautiful fiancée.”

“Your fiancée is a drag.” Soon he’ll be reporting to spring training in Jupiter, a thought that only exhausts me further. His parents live with us, but I’ll be the primary caregiver for his daughter, Everly, while he’s at camp. Most of the games are in Jupiter or West Palm Beach, so we’ll go up to watch him play on the weekends, but Austin is going to be staying up there most nights.

With his season looming, we’ve looked forward to this week off together, and now I’m sleeping through it. Determined to power through, I force myself to sit up and get my shit together. Except this shit isn’t having it. My head spins with dizziness that immediately makes me nauseated.

“Jeez, babe. You’re green.”

“I feel awful. Maybe it’s an inner ear thing. I’ve had that before.”

“Can you get it checked today?”

“I suppose I can go to the clinic. Miranda will check me out.”

“I’ll drive you.”

“I’d tell you I can drive myself, but I honestly don’t think I should.”

“Of course you shouldn’t drive when you feel this shitty. I’ll ask my mom if she can watch Ev for a few hours.”

“Sounds good, thanks.”

After I call the clinic where I work to ask if I can pop in for a quick ear check, I struggle through a shower that leaves me completely drained and dying to go back to bed. When Austin returns to the bedroom, he finds me right where he left me—sitting on the side of the bed, trying to stay awake.

Whatever this is, it sucks. I started feeling like crap on Christmas Eve after we got home from Nochebuena at Abuela’s, and it’s been all downhill since then. I got through Christmas Day at my parents’, but I’ve been asleep since we got home from there.

Thank goodness for Austin, because he keeps his arm tight around me on the way to the new Mercedes G-Wagon he bought me for Christmas that I’ve ridden in only twice. This will be the third time, but I’m too exhausted to enjoy the new-car smell or the smooth ride or anything other than more sleep in the time it takes Austin to drive us to the clinic.

Because I texted my boss, she’s waiting for us when we arrive.

“Ah, chica, you don’t look good.”

“Thanks, amiga.”

Miranda laughs. “Well, you always look good, you bitch, but today, not so great.”

“I feel like absolute shit.”

“Let’s take a look.” To Austin, she says, “Are you coming, or would you rather wait out here?”

“I’ll come if Maria doesn’t mind.”

“I don’t.” I always want him with me, even when I feel like shit.

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