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Carlita releases a high-pitched squeal of delight before they both fall into another laughing fit. I work my jaw. Why did I tell them?
I position myself on the leg press, back angled and legs above my waist in a squat position, feet pressed flat on the platform over me. Using my thigh muscles, I push up, fueled by my burning sexual frustration. I complete fifteen reps before Carlita and Miguel calm down.
“I need to act this out,” Miguel says, motioning to Carlita to join him. “Okay. I’m Brody and I’m taking a shower.” He pretends to squirt shampoo on his hands and wash his hair. “And then what?”
“Then Paige slips in quietly,” Carlita says, sneaking up behind Miguel and touching his sides. “Naked, of course.”
Miguel looks confused—a dopey, cartoonish expression—as he slowly turns around. When he sees Carlita, he screams like a woman.
Carlita moves closer and runs her hands over his chest. “Don’t be scared, big boy. I’ll be gentle.”
Miguel takes a minute to check her out and then screeches again, making a cross with his fingers. “No, you devil woman! Stay away. You’re here to have sex with me, and I am pure.” He flees his pretend shower, hitting his dick on a pretend door jamb and bending over in pain. “This is my punishment for thinking impure thoughts,” he groans.
“You can’t run forever, big boy,” Carlita purrs, stalking closer. “I will have you.”
Miguel runs off yelling, “Devil woman!”
Another trainer and her client glare at him for disrupting their session. Good thing the gym is mostly empty right now.
Miguel returns and Carlita claps. I can’t hide the stupid smile lifting one corner of my mouth. “Not exactly like that,” I say. I climb out of the leg press and rest on a weight bench.
Miguel smacks my shoulder, standing to my right. “Seriously, man, what’s the issue? You have a hot chick trying to have sex with you. The Brody I know would’ve been on that yesterday.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“You like her?” Carlita asks, coming to my other side. Now I’m sandwiched between them.
I cross my arms. I will not acknowledge any interest in Paige. Yeah, I like her. Generally. I like how she dances around the house to her crazy music. I like how she always greets me when I come home and gives me her full attention. I like how she’s spontaneous, takes charge, and cares for my sister as much as I do. She also has a powerful sex drive that’s unlike any other woman I’ve met. That’s a huge turn-on.
But I can’t like like her. That goes against my no-attachment policy and could trigger Amber.
To get them off my back, I settle with, “She’s attractive.”
“Then take advantage of this blessing,” Miguel pleads. “Or switch places with me. She can stay at my house. My relatives are leaving soon.”
I scowl. No way is that happening. Paige has been hurt in the past, and Miguel is not the guy for her. He’s too clingy. Paige needs a man who will give her space when she needs it. Actually, she should become a nun. No potheads. No Mexican gods. She should swear off men forever, so I never have to think about her with anyone else.
“I can’t,” I say as I launch to my feet. “Amber made her off-limits.”
Miguel crosses his arms. “Since when do you care what Amber thinks?”
“Since last year.”
His arms fall and he glances down. “Right. Sorry. How is she doing?”
“Getting worse. She tries to hide it, but I know her well enough to tell she’s on the verge of spiraling. I’m walking on eggshells here. She specifically told me she can’t handle the thought of me and Paige together, so if I give in, I don’t know how Amber will react. She might be cool and decide her worrying was for nothing. Or it might be a disaster. I can’t push her. She’s too fragile right now.”
Carlita sits beside me on the weight bench and puts her arm around my shoulders as much as she can. They’re too broad for her reach. “Cariño, you care so much. If I had met you thirty years ago before men ruined me, I would’ve snatched you up.”
“Thanks,” I say, “but I’m not looking to be snatched up. I want Amber to be secure in her life so I can go back to enjoying mine. Alone.”
Paige is tempting and so removed from boring that relationships are appealing again. A huge warning sign that I need to stay miles away. I even have dumb thoughts about Amber moving out and Paige continuing to live with me. I’m seriously losing it.
I need to push Paige from my mind. Amber needs my complete focus. After a few good weeks, she’s slipping. She’s acting uncharacteristically cheerful and beer—her favorite brand—is taking over the fridge. I wouldn’t care so much if I didn’t know beer was her gateway drug. She starts with alcohol, then moves to pot, then the opioids return. She’s detoxed from them multiple times on her own, but it never sticks. I don’t even know where she gets them because her doctor stopped prescribing them years ago.
With the anniversary coming up, I wish Mom was alive. She was better at handling Amber’s down moods. Regardless, I need to be diligent. I won’t let Amber fall into darkness this time. I’ll handcuff myself to her if I have to.
Carlita touches my chest. “It’s been a while since you visited, cariño. Why not come by my place later, and I’ll help you relax?”
