Page 20 of Surrender


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“It’s not that I don’t have an answer. I do. I have paid attention. I hope you don’t find it intrusive.”

“No. I don’t. I’ll be honest. I like it.”

At the moment, I feel very shy. I close my eyes and count to three before I open them again. Rafael is patiently looking at me in silence. His eyelashes flutter together as the corners of his mouth lift gently. “I don’t want to keep you too long. You look tired too. I waited too late to be ready to talk. If I’m honest, Ava, you catch me off guard.”

“I do? How?”

“By being you.” There is a long pause in our conversation. We slowly breathe in and out, simply staring at one another. His eyes blink slowly then he asks me the question I hoped he would. “May I call you again tomorrow? I don’t know what time we’ll be finished.”

“I have a dinner meeting that was just scheduled. I’ll be home after. If I didn’t say it, I’d like that.”

“You did now. Sleep well, Bella.”

“You too.”

“Buonanotte.”

“Good night.”

Rafael and I spend every night after work talking. Wednesday he actually called me from the makeup trailer on set. He wasn’t sure if they were going to need him to reshoot something, so he had to stay around at the location. He told me he didn’t want me to wait up for him, so he took ten minutes to call me in private.

Thursday was another late night. He called me from the couch where I can only assume he is staying. Rafael was fresh from a shower. He was wrapped up in a blue cardigan sweater over a white T-shirt. I couldn’t see anything below that; however, fantasies of gray sweatpants were running rampant through my head the entire time we were on the video chat.

Rafael and I briefly spoke about Friday. He told me he wasn’t sure how it would go, considering it was the last day they were scheduled to shoot. While the camera was on me, I tried really hard not to show my emotions about filming wrapping. The words that’s a wrap would mean that he’s leaving. What will leaving mean for us?

Us.

I can’t believe I even use that word. We aren’t us. He is him. I am me. I need to keep reminding myself of that.

I’m sitting at my desk late on Friday, making sure I have no unfinished business from the week and start to prepare for the week ahead. There are several events being held firm-wide this week that I’m not a direct part of. Luckily, my busiest week was right before the breakup.

Next week should be light, which will be nice for a change of pace. I can catch up on scoping out some of next quarter’s initiatives and just give some personal attention to my entire client roster. I’ve just finished my to-do list when my phone rings. My heart skips a beat for a second, then the awareness sets in that it’s my actual phone not an app ringing in.

I flip my screen over to see that it’s my brother, Austin, calling. “Hey, little brother.”

“Hey yourself. I’m on a layover in Charlotte, bored out of my mind, so I thought I’d check on you.”

“Austin, you don’t just check on me. You’re fishing. Out with it.”

“Well, I had to hear from Mom that Captain Dickhead fucked you over. He’s lucky my travel schedule is so heavy right now, or I’d be flying in to kick his ass.”

“Seriously, calm down. It’s really not worth it.”

“Your honor isn’t worth it?”

“Did Mom tell you that I told her I’m fine? Did she also tell you that I was going to break it off with him when I caught him with Melissa?”

“I thought she was spinning it so I wouldn’t swing through Atlanta to go to jail. So it’s true?”

I rest my head on my hand. “Yes, it is. I wasn’t happy. I hadn’t been for a while. I finally got the courage to do something about it.”

“Well, then good for you, Sis. I mean it. Spending time unhappy is bullshit.”

“Says the terminal bachelor.”

“Look, this is what makes me happy. I can be happy alone. I can be happy for a night or a couple nights. I’m honest about it so then no one has expectations or gets hurt.”

“I hope you have expectations someday. They’re nice too.”

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