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So, I needed her to meet me halfway, at least.
“Barlow?” My tone was stern. A warning. I couldn’t let her walk away like…whatever this was.
She was acting like… Fuck, was she in deeper than I realised? Was she in even deeper than me? Was she actually the one best at hiding their emotions here? Although, what I did would be more aptly described as ignoring or denying rather than hiding.
“I am fine. Okay?” she huffed as she tried to get past me.
I didn’t budge. “I know you’re not stupid enough to fall for me…are you?”
“I like how that sounds awfully one-sided,” she snapped.
Here was Roman Lombardi, fucking everything up again and again. I could only be honest with her. Now she was basically seeing that wank-stain Mason, it felt safer to be honest because it wasn’t like it could change anything anyway. Whatever we thought we’d been doing, it was done. Mason was making his move and that left no place for…me. I owed us both the truth before we walked away.
I pulled open the back door and got Maddy out as I said quietly, “Maybe, Barlow, just maybe that’s because I’m not too stupid.” It was cowardly to use my five-year-old niece as a fucking shield against emotions, but I couldn’t help it. This wasn’t my strength. It was the kind of weakness that could legit kill me.
She looked at me like I might as well have been speaking another language. In my mouth, it felt like it. “What?”
I took a step towards her and kept my voice low to not wake Maddy. Second reason for getting Mads out of the car was to keep myself in check; if I didn’t want to wake her, I wouldn’t yell at Piper and I didn’t want to yell at Piper. If I couldn’t – didn’t – yell, I could be more honest without fucking it up further.
“Maybe I’m not too stupid and maybe it doesn’t matter either way because we both know I’ll never be that guy, Piper. Even if I wanted to be – even if it was for you – I don’t have it in me. Whatever this thing was, it was only ever lasting until Carter pulled his fuc–” By what was now habit, I stopped myself swearing around Maddy, “–his finger out and asked you out. It was a bit of fun, nothing more, and now it’s over.”
“Roman, I…” she started, then stopped.
I didn’t know what was running through her head.
Mine was a fucking mess and no mistake.
I didn’t want this to be the end, but I knew it was for the best. I was already too far gone over this girl. Walking away was going to fucking suck, but it was better done before anyone’s heart got involved. Or more involved than it already was.
I watched her bite her lip. She wasn’t nervous. She wasn’t thinking something she thought she shouldn’t. She wasn’t planning on jumping me. She was thinking.
“What time’s your date?” I asked as I lay my hand on her cheek.
“I…” She stopped, looked down, and took a deep breath. “I told him I was busy…” She twisted her cheek out of my hand.
“What? Why?”
“You were feeling shit and I said I’d be there. Foolishly, I thought you needed me tonight. So, I… Not that it was a date. But no date. Bye, Roman. Tell Maddy I hope she feels better.”
No date?
And I’d…
What the fuck had I done now?
Surprise, surprise. I’d fucked it up.
“Piper,” I said, but she just shook her head at me and hurried into her house.
Getting Maddy out was starting to look like a bad idea.
Or maybe it was a good one. It kept me calmer than I knew I would have been otherwise. It stopped me running after her and saying some choice words I could never take back.
I’d give it a few hours, we could meet back at the car, maybe go down to the lake and it would all be okay again. Like usual.
Simple.
