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Dad nods but doesn’t push for me to elaborate. I think he knows about Francois’ sexual preference, but he hasn’t outright asked me. It would make Christian Maxwell ecstatic if I was in a relationship with someone like Franny. Kind, caring, and royalty. It will never happen though.
“So off to Italy next? My home country,” my mama chirps, changing the subject.
“Yes, I can’t wait. It will be nice to explore more of it. You’ll be visiting me, right?” I question even though I know they are.
My mama’s eyes sparkle as she smiles. “Of course. It will give me a chance to spend some time with your nonna and nonno. I’ve already spoken with them, and they want to come watch you compete.”
“Sounds great. I think the last time I saw them in person was when they came to New York for the holidays a couple years ago.”
Mama frowns. “I know. I’ve just been so busy with work, and they don’t like to travel much.”
“They’ll be staying with us at the house I rented. I spoke to them a couple of days ago and I know how much you’ll enjoy having them there, darling,” my father says, pulling mama in for a kiss. I look away. It feels like I’m intruding on something private. It also makes my heart hurt with reminders of Theo.
Sighing, I rub at my chest as if that will ease the pain. It won’t. I’ve tried. I think I need to learn to live with it. It’s not going anywhere. I don’t think I want it to. The pain is a reminder of what we had, what was taken away. I feel tears pricking my eyes as my throat grows thick. Shaking my head, I try to brush the thoughts away and focus on what’s coming next.
Italy.
I need to keep my mind off Theo and on showjumping.
If only it were that easy.
