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ChapterTwenty-Five
THALIA
I’m weak.
It’s confirmed when I avoid Theo for another five days after our talk and his subsequent declaration of love.
I thought I had grown in the last ten months but clearly, I haven’t.
You may think it weird that I haven’t just run straight into his arms, but I’m scared. The worry of what will happen to me if we don’t work out is crippling me. I want nothing more than to dive headfirst into all that is Theo, but my self-preservation is kicking in.
The reason I’m so petrified, so hesitant to just give in, to say yes and hopefully live happily ever after, is that I realized something. No matter how much you love someone, or they love you, they can be taken away from you and vice versa. I know that realization sounds crazy, but it’s how I feel. He’s already been taken from me once, there is no guarantee it won’t happen again.
Theo is the first man I loved, the only man I love, in a romantic capacity and look how that’s gone so far? Being with Theo, loving him, only for him to be ripped away from me? It’s the first time I understood the meaning of having no control over certain things. That people can be taken away from you no matter how hard you try to hold on. I live with the scars of what happened, of losing him, every day. And that makes me terrified to give myself to him again. I couldn’t live through losing Theo a second time. It may be dramatic, but it’s my truth. He is ingrained in me. I love him with every fiber of my being, but even with all of that, I need to think carefully about my next move. I know I shouldn’t dwell on the what ifs. I should be jumping into his arms and never let him go. But life is uncertain, you never know what’s around the corner.
“Sweetheart?” my father’s voice sounds. My eyes snap to his, brows pinching at the look on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me Mr. Rhodes was in Italy?”
I move my gaze to the arena where, sure enough, Theo is competing. My heart rate spikes, and I swallow and look back to my dad. It’s not that I didn’t tell him because I was trying to hide something—I knew they would find out Theo was here—I just didn’t want my parents to worry.
“Him being here doesn’t mean anything. He’s here to compete.” I shrug nonchalantly even though I feel anything but.
He pins me with a look that tells me he doesn’t believe me. “Then why didn’t you say something? And why didn’t Greg say anything? Has he stayed away from you? He better have,” he growls.
I sigh. “Daddy, please leave it alone. Greg didn’t know he was here. I briefly saw Theo when I was with Franny. But if I want to talk to him I will,” I say, my voice leaving no room for argument.
I hear a snicker, but my eyes don’t leave my father who is staring at me like I grew another head. I get it. I’ve never spoke to him like that, but he needs to understand I’m a grown woman and if I want to speak to or date Theo then I will.
“Well, well, well. Look at my little sister standing up for herself,” my sister whispers in my ear. I shrug her away, still staring at my father. He runs a hand through his hair as he pinches the bridge of his nose with his other one.
“Thalia, princess. I’m just concerned. I saw how it affected you last time. I don’t want you to go through that again.”
My features soften, my lips curve into a grin. “I promise you; I will not go through that again. Theo has kept his distance,” I lie because my father doesn’t need to know we have talked. Not until I decide what I’m going to do, anyway.
He searches my face, then blows out a breath. “Okay. I trust you, sweetheart. Just... be careful.” He leans back and scrubs a hand down his face.
My mama moves from her seat and sits on my father’s lap. “She’s a big girl, Christian. Let her make decisions for herself. Bambina knows herself and what she went through. All the hurt and pain, it’s just a part of loving someone. We all know Thalia is not over that man so whether our daughter decides to date Theo is her choice,” she speaks. I stare at my mama in shock. They know I’m still in love with Theo. I don’t get to ask the question before my father speaks.
“She will always be my baby girl,” he growls back at her before nuzzling her neck. I look away. I don’t need to see them like this.
“Proud of you, Thalia.” Aria takes my hand and squeezes in silent support.
“Thank you. But honestly, it’s been a shock. I need to speak to you alone,” I murmur.
She nods. “Let’s go to dinner tonight. Just the two of us.”
“Perfect.”
* * *
“What’s going on little sis?” Aria asks after finishing her mouthful of pizza. We’re at a little restaurant around five minutes from the showground. Our parents wanted to join us, but we insisted on it being just the two of us—along with Bishop and Greg, of course, who are at a table by the door, giving us privacy.
I glance up at her. Even when she’s heartbroken, she’s still looking out for me, concerned about me. “Theo wants me back. Mel’s baby wasn’t his.”
Her eyes widen, as shocked as I was, still am, at the news. She lets out a low whistle. “Damn. I didn’t expect you to say that. How? What...” she trails off, her mouth opening and closing.
I explain everything Theo told me. Aria’s eyes widen with every word and by the time I’m finished she’s in as much shock as I was when I learned the truth.
“So, does that mean she never,” she glances around. I know what she’s going to say. Aria is the only person I talked to about what happened to Theo. Even though now we know that was all part of Mel’s lie too. “She didn’t assault him?” her voice is a whisper.
