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ChapterTwenty-Eight
THALIA
Pacing my apartment, I wait for Theo.
It’s finally time to come clean.
Francois is out visiting Henri, and before he left, he insisted I do whatever makes me happy and not to worry about him. He said he will be okay, whatever I decide. He wants the best for me, and I love him even more for his support.
Theo does make me happy. That has never changed, even in the time we were apart. I forgot how good he felt inside me. Forgot how good it felt to be in his arms. And then today when we rode together on the beach, it felt like those times we would take trail rides in Wellington. It was easy. Natural.
A knock on the door snaps me out of my reverie. I rush over to it, pulling it open in the next second. My breath hitches in my throat at the sight of him. He really is a gorgeous man. There’s something different about him today. His eyes are brighter, he’s more relaxed, surer of himself. He’s always been confident. But I watched as that confidence slipped, that spark in his eyes burned out with everything Mel put him through.
“You going to stare at me all night or you going to invite me in?” he drawls, his lips curving into a panty dropping smile.
I roll my eyes with a wave of my hand. “Come in. Come in.”
He saunters in like he owns the place, sucking up all the air in the room. The space suddenly feels too small. And Theo? Well, he looks too big. He’s all I see. All I feel. But I guess it’s always been like that. From the moment he came into my life, he’s all I ever saw. He’s like the sun, blocking everything else out, leaving only him.
I clear my throat. “Do you want a drink?”
He pins me with a look. “No, piccola. I want you to tell me what you wanted to talk about?’
Fair enough. He wants to get straight to it. I can do that.
“Francois isn’t my boyfriend. He never was,” I blurt.
Theo’s eyes widen before he recovers with a smirk that is so sinful, wetness pools between my thighs. “You wanted me to think he was?”
I shrug. “Not really. It was never about you. You assumed that he was, and I didn’t correct you.” I wring my hands together and shift on my feet at his intense gaze.
“No, you didn’t. You let me go crazy these last few weeks thinking that he was your boyfriend. I locked him in that bloody container.” There’s no malice in his tone, just... relief? He blows out a breath and runs a hand through his hair. “So, what’s the deal with you two? You seem close.Tooclose. And the tabloids? They seem to think that you two are together.”
I smile with a shake of my head. Theo and his jealousy. “It’s complicated and not really my place to say. I love Franny as a friend. That’s all.”
Theo eyes me for a long beat, searching my face. “He’s gay?” he guesses but I don’t confirm or deny. Theo lets out a long breath. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s written all over your face, piccola. You forget that I know you, that I can read you like a book.”
I snort. “Well, you didn’t read me that well, did you? You assumed I was dating Franny.”
He squeezes the back of his neck as a sheepish look crosses his face. “I was so blinded with rage at the thought of you and him together, that I forgot to stop and look closer.”
I shuffle by my place at the counter, debating whether to speak the words in my head. Instead of being a coward like I have been since Theo came back into my life, I woman the hell up and speak. “I don’t know whether it changes anything between us or not, Theo.” He scowls and steps towards me. I hold a hand up to stop him. I need to get this off my chest. “I love you. I always will. But you need to understand that I changed when I left Wellington. When I left you. I look back on my time at Rhodes Farms and realize how naïve I was. We both were. I was so blinded by you, by us, that I convinced myself that we would be together eventually. But it was all an illusion. Something that I wanted so much I made myself believe it. I wanted you so much, I didn’t care who I hurt in the process. I thought you were mine, but it was a fantasy. The cards were always stacked against us and maybe they always will be. Maybe that time we were together was just a fleeting moment that, although explosive and amazing, was never meant to be. Maybe you’re not my fate, and I’m not yours.” I’ve thought about this a lot and though I do love him, perhaps it was only meant to be for a moment in time and not forever.
His face twists and he steps forward, closing the distance between us. This time I let him. He cups my face. “How can you say such bullshit?” he growls. “Our story was written way before you came to Rhodes Farms, piccola. We were destined to find each other, to be together. If you had never started training with me, I believe with everything in me we would have still happened. Our souls would find each other no matter what is between us. People. Planets. Fucking universes. Because you are mine, Thalia Maxwell, and you better believe that I am yours. That rubbish you just spewed? We were never an illusion, it was real. Itisreal. And if you can’t remember that, then I will show you just how real we are.”
A sob burst from me at his words, the surety in them. He presses a soft kiss to my mouth. “Why didn’t you come to me sooner? When you found out the truth, why didn’t you come?”
He smiles sadly. “Although I have hated every second of our time apart, I needed it.” I frown. “Not because I needed or wanted to be away from you. But you need to understand I wasn’t in a good place. I needed to better myself. Be the best version of me. Be the best man I could be. For you. You deserved better than who I became. I was toxic. So, I changed that.”
“What if I make you toxic?” I ask. Maybe I bring out the worst in him. “What if we shouldn’t be together?”
He smiles, imploring me with his eyes. “You don’t. And we should. There are so many reasons why we shouldn’t be together and one reason why. And that one? It’s the only one that matters to me.” He takes a deep breath, his eyes squeezing shut before popping open with determination shining in them. “When I look at you, I see my future. I see the woman I love. We love each other. Sometimes I think too much, more than we can both handle. But do you know what? I don’t care if it breaks me. I will break a million times over if it means having you. I love you so much, piccola, it scares me. But I want to be scared. With you. You are the organ beating in my chest.” He moves my hand to his heart as if to prove his point. “The air I need to breath. You are the last person I think about before I go to sleep and the first one that crosses my mind when I wake. That never changed, even when we were apart.” He lets out a shuddering breath as if it’s painful to remember that time. “You are everything good in my world. And I will spend my life making sure you know that. If you give me a chance.” He chuckles. “If that isn’t a good enough reason to be together, then stop the world and let me get off. It will be a tragedy, a disservice to love for us not to be together,” his voice wobbles with emotion.
Tears leak down my face as I stare at Theo. The man I love. The man I amscaredto love. His words. They are the most beautiful words I have ever heard. “Theo?” I whisper.
He presses his lips to my forehead before pulling back. “I don’t do begging, but I am not above doing it for you, piccola. Please give me another chance.”
I let out a harsh breath. I’m so overwhelmed, so full of my love for Theo, but he needs to understand I don’t want to rush into this. We did before and look where it got us.
