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For just a moment, something flickered in Mary’s eyes, something pleading and on the edge of desperate. She clung to Sabina’s hand. “Oh, come on. I loved it when you came with me. We had fun, didn’t we? And that’s what you need right now. Fun.”
As if gin-flavored fun could make all this go away for her any more than it could make Mary’s mother well or her father care. She sighed and squeezed Mary’s fingers back. “Why don’t you just stay here with me tonight? Please?”
Mary hesitated just long enough to make her think she might agree. But then she shook herself, pasted on a smile, and drew a compact out of her beaded purse. “Not tonight, doll face. Robert’s already on his way.” Apparently unconcerned with the fact that she was in plain sight of a busy street, she powdered her nose and then reapplied a generous coat of red lipstick.
Cat gasped in disbelief, which made Sabina smile, at least for a second. Most of them wore some makeup—but not many flaunted it. Heaven knew what her cousin might do if Mary drew out one of her cigarettes and lit up.
A brand-new Auburn pulled up, Robert at the wheel. He honked the horn and gave an enthusiastic wave. Mary tossed her compact back into her purse and hugged Sabina again. “I bet you Roman shows up to steal you away, just like you planned. You two will be out with me and Robert again by next week, you’ll see.”
Sabina shook her head, throat too tight to speak. She could understand that Mary liked having another couple to hit the town with, and they all knew Lorenzo would never be game for a night of carousing. But couldn’t she see that Roman was no knight in shining armor? He was the worst kind of guy—a rodent. A mole.
Mary bounded back down the stairs, calling over her shoulder, “If anyone bothers asking, tell them I’m staying the night with Bina, Izzy.”
Isadora sighed and sank down on the top step. “I keep trying to tell her that acting this way won’t make them ask. Mother’s just too ill, and Father…” She pressed her lips together. “I don’t want to see her get in trouble. But she will, if she keeps this up. Not with them, maybe, but she will.”
Sabina sat beside Isadora when Cat settled in one of the chairs. She’d tried defending Mary plenty in the past, saying she wasn’t really doing anything wrong. After all, what did red lipstick and a flashy dress really matter?
But she’d been out with her, on Roman’s arm. She knew exactly what Mary did when she was full of “giggle water,” and it wasn’t as harmless as she’d wanted to think. “The more you warn her, though, the faster she’s going to run.”
“I know.” Isadora flicked a stray curl out of her face and then attempted to tuck it into the knot at the base of her neck. Her eyes, as always, were shadowed and bloodshot. Did she even sleep anymore, or just sit up all night with her mother? Why didn’t she make Mary help her?
As if anyone could make Mary do anything.
Turning her gray eyes on Sabina, Isadora probed her for a long moment. “You holding up all right?”
Sabina lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “It’s been a tough couple of days.”
“If you need to talk about it, I’m here, you know.”
She nodded, her eyes on the twilit street. The lamps flicked on as she watched. At the moment their light was barely visible in the rays of the dying sun, but in a matter of minutes they’d be the brightest things on the street.
Sometimes Isadora struck her in the same way—faded in contrast to her vibrant sister, but the one who really shone when darkness fell. And the darkness had been falling for years, it seemed.
Sabina sighed. “I’m just not sure what I’m feeling. Part of me hates Roman for what he did, but another part wants to mourn him. Then there’s a part that wants to cling to Enzo because he’s familiar, but it’s at war with the part that got me into this mess in the first place, the part that wants more than he was ever willing to give.” She looked over at Isadora now, fully expecting to see rebuke in her eyes. Instead she saw compassion. “I’m awful, aren’t I?”
Isadora smiled and reached over to grip her hand. “I know it’s not exactly the same, but when I got the news that Joey had been killed, I had some conflicting feelings, too. I wasn’t just upset at losing him—I was furious with him for signing up in the first place, instead of staying here to marry me like he promised. I wanted to go out and find someone else just to spite him, but then if I went to a party or something, I felt so guilty I’d leave in minutes. I think it’s pretty normal to be mixed up when you lose someone, Sabina. Even when the loss isn’t death.”
Sabina angled her body in to reply, but the door opened and more of the family spilled out to enjoy the night. And this wasn’t exactly a conversation she wanted every cousin and aunt and uncle to overhear. So she sighed and let her shoulders curl forward, let her mouth shut again, just like always.
Isadora squeezed her hand. “Later.”
Chaos ensued as a dozen bodies tried to find places to sit, most overflowing onto the sidewalk to avoid the crush on the porch. Sabina let herself get lost in the hubbub. If nothing else, it insulated her, distracted her from all the questions that still needed to be answered.
Soon darkness fell in earnest. Lorenzo still hadn’t shown up, and she began to let herself think he wouldn’t. Maybe this day would just whimper to a close, and she could drag herself up to bed and pray no nightmares found her tonight.
Then his Nash pulled up. Her breath came in with a shudder when Lorenzo stepped out and slammed the door behind him. His shoulders were drawn up, his stride long—sure signs of a rare temper. “Oh, boy.”
Isadora chuckled at her mumble. “Just be honest with him about everything. I imagine it’s the deception really stinging him right now.”
He brushed by her as he mounted the stairs, going straight for Mama, who greeted him with a wide smile and a smacking kiss on his cheek. He returned the smile, but one would have had to be blind to miss the strain in it.
Had she thought she stood a chance of getting away, Sabina would have slipped over the railing and made a break for it.
“Giorgio said to stick around until he got back.” Mama had apparently overheard the instructions and didn’t trust Sabina to convey them.
Lorenzo nodded, but that was all the attention he spared Mama. He turned his face Sabina’s way, all but commanding her to get up with his eyes. “Mama Rosa, do you mind if Sabina and I go for a little stroll around the block?”
“Of course I don’t mind,” Mama said on a laugh. “Go, go.”
