Page 68 of Under His Rule

Well, fuck him. I’m going to choose love first.

So I run down the stairs and go after her.

I don’t know where she’s gone or what she’s doing, but I will find her … because she’s my wife and a husband takes care of his wife, just as our rules tell us to do. And because I need her by my side. I want to love her, but she won’t let me, and that’s okay. She will, one day, but I start now by consoling her.

But where is she?

There’s only one place I’d expect her to go in this community … her previous hut.

So I make my way to it, ignoring the people fawning over my presence and ready to bow at my feet. I don’t have time to make any blessings right now, and I’m not here to appease them. I’m here to find my wife.

The door to her hut is cracked open slightly, which means someone’s inside. I push it open and peek inside. Natalie’s sitting on her old bunk bed with a scarf in her hand. That same scarf she had on when I first snatched her away. That scarf … that belongs to the Family.

“I know you’re there …” she says.

I step inside and close the door behind me.

“Of course you’d follow me.”

“I need to know if you’re okay,” I say.

“It doesn’t matter.” Her reply is soft, barely audible, but I can hear it.

I approach her and sit down beside her, placing my hand over hers. “It does to me.”

“Why?” She looks at me, her eyes stained red. “Why do you even care? All you want is a wife. A baby. I’m nothing more than an incubator.”

I grab her face and caress her cheek. “That’s not true, and you know it isn’t.”

She makes a face. “Why should I believe you?”

“Because … I need you,” I reply, smiling gently.

I don’t want to upset her more than she already is. Being up there with all those men watching her while I fucked her must’ve been an ordeal, and I can’t imagine having to be in her place. I admire her strength, her resilience. “As more than just a wife. As a friend. A partner in crime. A patriarch is nothing without his significant other.”

“Then give me a reason,” she says, clutching the scarf. “Give me anything. Something … so I can live with myself and this decision.”

I lick my lips. “I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”

“You must,” she growls. “If you want me to be a willing participant, give me more information. Tell me the truth. Tell me about this scarf and why I had it before I came here.”

Her eyes are filled with so much worry, so much pain and hidden grief that it’s becoming too hard for me to ignore. I wasn’t planning on revealing anything to her before the time was there, but if I don’t do it, I might lose her in the process.

Even though I didn’t mind it if she hated me before, something’s changed. Something about us. When I look into her eyes, I feel so much, and it hurts to see her in pain like this when I’m the one who could resolve all of it.

I’m the cause behind her hatred, and it ruins me.

But if I tell her the truth, she’ll probably hate me even more.

“I’m not going to allow you to do this if you don’t give me even an ounce of truth, Noah,” she reaffirms. “I’d rather die than let any man control my body.”

My pupils dilate, and I place a hand on her arm. “What are you saying?”

“You know damn well what I mean …” She rips her arm away. “You forced me to make a choice, now I’m giving you one. Give me what I want or I won’t last the week. I promise you that.”

“You wouldn’t,” I say, upset at the mere suggestion that she’s going to end things forever.

“I would,” she hisses.

I can see the perseverance in her eyes, a flame that’s never shone brighter than it does now, and I know she’s serious. She’d do it just to spite me, to get in my way, but I won’t allow it.

Grunting, I get up from the bed and pace around the room. I didn’t plan on revealing this so soon, but if it’s the only choice I have to keep her in my life, then I’ll do it. “Fine.”

Her eyes immediately light up. “You … you’ll give me what I want?”

I close my eyes and let out a sigh. Then I hold out my hand and wait until she grabs ahold. “You want to know the truth? I’ll show you … but you won’t like it one bit.”

Natalie

I let Noah guide me outside onto the grass and out into the field. People are looking at us, but he flat-out ignores it, which surprises me. I always thought patriarchs weren’t supposed to be on the grounds unless for special occasions, yet here he is marching around on the community grounds as though he’s one of them. But everyone, including him, knows he’s not, yet he doesn’t seem to care even the slightest bit about what this could mean. Could he be punished by the other patriarchs for blatantly defying their rules? Does he even care that they would?

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